To be angry with my sister re COVID?

[TracyJacks1]

Regular poster but have changed username as this could be outing.

My sister is married to an Eastern European.
Last week they travelled to his home country with my 2 year led niece to visit his family. The country is in the midst of a large Covid outbreak and as a result they will have to quarantine on their return to the UK for 14 days.
Healthcare in this particular country is oretty poor so they are hoping to avoid any doctors or hospital visits etc. Since arriving two family members have been diagnosed with Covid. They are not immediate family but I imagine other family members will have been in contact with them.
My niece has now developed a cough which is getting worse. I asked my sister if she will be getting her tested. She said no as she had a cough when they left the uk(!) & has no temperature. I sent her the nhs guidelines but she says if my niece tests positive she will be hospitalised for 14 days as that is the policy in that country meaning they will have to delay their return to the uk.
I questioned whether this is fair on other family members or the wider public as they are going out & about as normal and will be travelling home on a plane at which point she had a huge rant at me about ruining their holiday and said she was acting in the best interests of her child!

To make things worse she's planning to send my niece to my elderly parents on her return next week so that her and BIL can work from home during quarantine!

I've since had a text from my mum saying I've upset her and not to spoil they trip. Surely if you choose to go to a country with a large outbreak & rubbish healthcare you need to suck up the consequences? I'm really cross but now my mum has made me doubt whether I should have said anything. Was I BU?

@PlanDeRaccordement

It’s probably not Covid. A cough alone is not usually Covid, and even less likely Covid since she has no temperature. And if it’s the same cough she travelled with, she’d not have been cleared by the U.K. airport to get on the plane. The sister should monitor her daughters symptoms though as even a cold can become a chest infection or she could catch Covid while having a cough. If it were my sister, I’d trust her as this is her child and she is actually there and can see whether she is showing Covid symptoms....plural... You’re thousands of km away from the child. You have even less idea if she has Covid or not and I think you’re being a bit paranoid tbh.

Are you saying that children should only get tested if they're showing multiple Covid symptoms? The NHS advice is clear and at school we've explicitly told parents they must get a test for their child if they show any of the three main symptoms - and yes we know kids get coughs & colds at this time of year but unless they have a docs note saying they've got a pre-existing condition such as asthma they will need to take the test.

I do trust my sisters judgement regarding her own child but I guess I'm also pondering how many people will send their symptomatic kids into my classroom using the argument that they know their child & know it's not Covid.

You can’t decide if your mum has your niece or nephew that’s her relationship with your sister not yours. You can decide whether or not to report it. And if it matters this much to you maybe you should.
You said you told her in no uncertain terms in 4 WA messages Which is more than a mention.
Most of us wouldn’t have done what she did, but the question is are you coming across as concerned or sanctimonious?
To have stirred up so much feeling that your mum had a word and your sister who’s normally caring and sensible is now annoyed suggests you may have appeared to be up on your high horse.
Loads of people on Mumsnet live in Covid free ivory towers where they have black and white views and no emotion in their choices, that’s fine. But there could have been a number of factors driving your sister to make the choices she did, and if you don’t come across as caring she may not feel able to share them with you.

@TracyJacks1

I do trust my sisters judgement regarding her own child but I guess I'm also pondering how many people will send their symptomatic kids into my classroom using the argument that they know their child & know it's not Covid.

This is a different issue she isn’t sending her child into a classroom she’s arranging to do the opposite I do agree teachers are under considerable stress but that is different

I agree that the two situations are different but she has taken her child on a plane full of people twice.
People make their own choices I know that but I guess it's opened my eyes to how many people put their personal wants over everyone else.
I have no intention of discussing it or mentioning it again as she's obviously p*ssed off. To be honest what they do abroad is up to them and I wouldn't have messaged her if it wasn't for their childcare plans involving my parents (Who also happen to be my parents too)
It's up to my mum whether she has my niece but I do have a right to know as I don't want my family popping around to visit during those 14 days.

@TracyJacks1

I agree that the two situations are different but she has taken her child on a plane full of people twice. People make their own choices I know that but I guess it's opened my eyes to how many people put their personal wants over everyone else. I have no intention of discussing it or mentioning it again as she's obviously p*ssed off. To be honest what they do abroad is up to them and I wouldn't have messaged her if it wasn't for their childcare plans involving my parents (Who also happen to be my parents too) It's up to my mum whether she has my niece but I do have a right to know as I don't want my family popping around to visit during those 14 days.

Yes but you do know no one has hidden it from you. You seem unlikely to just pop in given you said earlier you're sister dies more as she's much closer. You've decided to make a point about it. They are your parents, but they are also adults making their own choices. They've decided to support your sister. It's not a great choice but it's their choice.

Does not dies

It's people like your sister who prevent me from seeing my family abroad because if I catch it off some cunt like her I could kill my elderly father.

Not that she'd give a shit about that.

Your sister isn't kind, OP. She's a selfish cunt and perhaps she should get stuck in the country she is in. It may teach her a lesson.

(Yes, I am very angry with the world right now, given that people's selfishness means I will more than likely not see my family until well in to next year.)

I feel so sad for the other people on the plane. Unlike your mum they have no choice, and have to rely on other people's honesty, of which your sister is not. Completely selfish, and actually cruel to put so many others at risk.

@walfordwatcher

I feel so sad for the other people on the plane. Unlike your mum they have no choice, and have to rely on other people's honesty, of which your sister is not. Completely selfish, and actually cruel to put so many others at risk.

Me too. They won't know and won't be able to mitigate their risk. It's so thoughtless and unkind.

If they send your niece to your parents then they’re not quarantining. This could be reported but I guess that’s not going to help family relations. People ignoring the guidelines are just making this whole thing drag on so much more though.

Hopefully @TracyJacks1 the post from @acatcalledjohn has given the tone of response you wanted by throwing your sister out to AIBU on here
My comments come from a space of shielded, and as my children went back we were hit by a Covid scare from school, my dad is shielded and after 1 family meet up since shielding ended, we won't be able to meet again as a family until the new restrictions are lifted.
I'm sure that gives you and @acatcalledjohn the higher ground but at the end if it if you still want family relations you might want to consider when to let it go. There are reasons why people take risks ive seen it in my family members as I hunkered down.

Wow I'm pretty laid back but even I'd say that's insanely selfish.

You are not being at all unreasonable. Sadly, a lot of people don't take this as real until it is actually happening to them. And others really don't care about the possibility of infecting others, and quite possibly causing a horrible death.

Protect yourself. It's an awful situation to be in.

@Didkdt

Oh, I am simply beyond angry and no longer have the will/energy/desire to keep that to myself. I know my reaction is extreme, but after 6 months of being good and sensible whilst watching others do the opposite, I'm out of patience.

My father is elderly with lung scarring. He doesn't consider himself at great risk day to day, but when you read stories like this he clearly would be if I travelled internationally right now.

I'm completely fed up with the sheer selfishness of people.

i could not lose any sleep over this

If they have rubbish healthcare then your sister is being VVVVVU as it is morally wrong to travel there if you are a potential carrier. British tourists have spread COVID to some other low income countries which really does my head in as we were high risk at some point and then you travel to x country knowing you can afford premium healthcare in that country should you fall ill, but the locals you spread it too can't.

I think people should really stay put if planning on visiting countries with bad healthcare. I had a trip planned to a few countries in Southern Africa this year. There is no way I'm going until potentially the end of 2021 or even later.

As for planning to see your parents VVVU, but your parents' choice

She's a covidiot and she's at risk of causing harm to your parents. She needs a shake!

Wow.
Your sister is unreasonable and selfish.
At the very least, she should get her child tested as soon as possible on returning to the UK, but then what about the plane loads of passengers if she tests positive? I can't grasp this kind of thinking.

I am not in the UK and that the government is not testing people on arrival at airports, and is allowing flights internationally all over the place for holidays boggles the mind.
Australia has tiny numbers of cases compared to the UK, but our international borders remain shut , we aren't jaunting all over the place for vacations and even our states have closed their borders for domestic travel. And the majority of the population is just fine with it.

I hope for your families sake it is just a cold.