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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think I'm not being weird?

87 replies

Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 21:40

Sorry. Posting for traffic and company

I'm speculating here...what kind of person are you? My 3 year old was blue lighted to hospital with his dad at 4pm - they sent a first responder and an ambulance. Both of which arrived in exactly two minutes. I've just found out he's being admitted.

I've put my two year old to bed. Tidied the kitchen, put the dishwasher on and put the washing machine on... please tell me I'm not the only crazy person who feels the need to empty the washing basket and hoover the stairs in times of crisis?

OP posts:
Takemetothebar · 09/09/2020 22:59

Oh god. So you’d take another child to AandE, and make it a family outing? You think that’s wise? Covid or not, hospitals in emergencies are not spectator sports, and siblings don’t need to see each other very poorly when there is an alternative. This is definitely a “divide and conquer” moment.

And you know damn well that isn’t the question OP asked, anyway.

Original poster
Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 23:00

Is the comment really genuinely bothering people? I'm beginning to think I'm emotionally broken Shock

OP posts:
FizzyPink · 09/09/2020 23:01

Ahh so you’re one of those that makes A&E waiting rooms even more miserable by having the whole family and children there unnecessarily

Rachie1973 · 09/09/2020 23:01

@DameFanny

When my father died I came home and reassembled the spinning wheel I'd taken apart the week before for cleaning. Hadn't slept properly in 3 days, cried for most of them, had to do something. Felt right to be putting something back together again. Like you did with getting the house ready for your family. All my hopes for your 3yo's swift and complete recovery Flowers
Arse.

My kids went to hospital with their dad on more than one occasion.

When I was breastfeeding a younger sibling for example,

Crunchymum · 09/09/2020 23:05

Are you able (and / or willing) to say what I'm wrong with DC? You say they were also in hospital in December, is it an ongoing issue?

We've taken turns with our kids. I'm an emetophobe so DP got the gastroenteritis trip.

Are you OK though @Heartofstrings

Original poster
Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 23:10

Not particularly ongoing.

December was a viral chest issue (think usual covid symptoms and you'll have the right idea). That was five days.

This time I'm not sure. It was initially suspected sepsis. He was unresponsive, feverish, pale, sensitive to light with a high fever. Currently they are saying it's an infection but they don't know where.

I think I'm ok. I'm obviously worried. But without sounding crass, I think he's unlikely to die and chances are in a few days he will be recovered.

Today was his first day back at preschool so we are now home

OP posts:
Hellishcrusade · 09/09/2020 23:12

It's nervous energy, it's normal for a lot of people and I'd be ok with my child being in hospital with their father because he's their parent and loves them just as much as I do. It sounds like your child has something going on as you mention it's happened before and I think especially if that's the case you need to give yourself a break. Either way, I hope your little one's ok Thanks

Lindy2 · 09/09/2020 23:12

I hope your child is ok OP.

I expect you're doing household tasks because it gives you some control and familiarity. The hospital situation is outside of your control which for a lot of capable people is not a comfortable position to be in. Keeping busy is also a distraction.

Don't overdo it though. You do need to try and get some rest so you can deal with whatever you need to tomorrow. Easier said than done, I know.

And by the way at the height of lockdown my DD was taken to A&E and kept in for a day to be observed. She might have needed emergency surgery. My DH went with her. I stayed at home with her sister. Only one parent will be allowed to be in hospital at the moment, it really doesn't matter which one of you it is. I can't see why anyone would even question that.

Original poster
Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 23:12

Truthfully though my house feels very empty. He was 10 days old when I left him on the children's ward overnight with my husband for the first time. I was devastated. I sobbed all the way home. But 10 days with hourly obs and a newborn nearly broke me.

Letting a three year old go to hospital with his dad is tame in comparison

OP posts:
QueenPaws · 09/09/2020 23:13

Everyone reacts differently
Without saying too much I used to take 999 calls. I had people who would be perfectly calm with their leg hanging off and others screaming over a small cut
One memorable one was an ambulance crew wondering why I hadn't told them about a giant severe wound the patient had - they had omitted that and only mentioned a finger injury!

Original poster
Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 23:18

@QueenPaws you've just reminded me! The midwife turned up just as ds2 was crowning because I told her 45 minutes previously not to worry about hurrying and to finish her cup of tea first Blush

OP posts:
babybooyaa · 09/09/2020 23:20

I hope he's okay! I can imagine you feel helpless so are making yourself helpful around the house and that is a completely normal reaction!! He's in the best place, they'll take good care of him! keep yourself busy as much as you can if it's helping you! Sometimes it's better to try and take your mind off things rather than just sit and worry yourself. Do also get some rest though! Sending you a hug and a hand hold Thanks x

QueenPaws · 09/09/2020 23:23

I drove myself to a&e with a shattered ankle so I'm not the best to comment. Worry about tiny things but if there's an emergency I go icy calm. Did CPR and defib on someone in a shop and it was only after that it got me. Also clean when stressed!

mineofuselessinformation · 09/09/2020 23:30

Oh sod off MamaLKB. Kick someone when they're down, why don't you? Did you read that DH is with him?
OP, I'm totally with you. When I'm stressed / worried / anxious I clean, usually.
My house was never so clean as when I separated from XH.
If you're feeling tired, go to bed, but take your phone with you - I'm sure you will anyway.
Make sure you eat too - worry burns off energy like anything, and you will need your A game.
I hope all works out well. Thanks

TheUnquestionedAnswer · 09/09/2020 23:30

I (badly) painted some furniture the day I found out my mum had gone into hospital, and splurged on a buddha I had wanted for ages £50. Not a bit unreasonable. We are nearly 300 miles apart so I was feeling pretty helpless.

Daftasabroom · 09/09/2020 23:34

I spent an hour vacuuming at three in the morning when DW first went into labour with DS1 and the hospital told us to wait. DW was cool, me not so.

Original poster
Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 23:50

I can't sleep. I've had tea. I'm so sensitive to caffeine that tea is a bad idea

OP posts:
CSIblonde · 09/09/2020 23:51

The psych term for it is 'displacement activity'. So it's a distraction technique & coping strategy to focus on something else, in order to take your mind off the real problem.

Original poster
Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 23:51

I made flapjacks while in labour and then had a full scale meltdown at dh because he wanted DOUBLE THE RECIPIE Grin

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 10/09/2020 00:01

you do whatever you need to op-hope ds is better soon

crimsonlake · 10/09/2020 00:19

I agree I would have been the one to go to the ospital with my child and I certainly would not be posting on here about it. I hope everything turns out okay.

Staffy1 · 10/09/2020 00:26

Hope he is better and back at home with you soon.
Flowers

MyNameIsAlexDrake · 10/09/2020 00:27

OP, I hope you get some positive news soon. I definitely don't think you're weird, I'm an organiser / cleaner too when things are outwith my control, it's a coping mechanism.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 10/09/2020 00:34

Hope your ds is OK. Do whatever you need to to stay sane. If that's cleaning then you are welcome to come and do mine Grin

Original poster
Heartofstrings · 10/09/2020 01:12

Ah well. Maybe I'm abnormal.

I've spent enough nights in hospital with this kid to happily forgo the excitement for one night. It gets tiresome after a while to be truthful.

I've just been summoned by dh to collect them. Not sure why but they got put on the covid ward. Anyhow the doctor has decided she is no longer "acutely worried." Whatever that means

OP posts:
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