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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think I'm not being weird?

87 replies

Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 21:40

Sorry. Posting for traffic and company

I'm speculating here...what kind of person are you? My 3 year old was blue lighted to hospital with his dad at 4pm - they sent a first responder and an ambulance. Both of which arrived in exactly two minutes. I've just found out he's being admitted.

I've put my two year old to bed. Tidied the kitchen, put the dishwasher on and put the washing machine on... please tell me I'm not the only crazy person who feels the need to empty the washing basket and hoover the stairs in times of crisis?

OP posts:
Cam2020 · 09/09/2020 22:34

It's nervous energy - I do this too. I think part of it is having some control when you're in a situation completely beyond your control.

People react in lots of different ways.You're not an awful mother at all, you're a human being who is experiencing something terrifying. Your body is reacting and has gone into defence mode - you get no say in how it does that its completely primal.

I hope you get some sleep - being tired and stressed is a horrible combination and makes everything so much worse.

I hope you LO is OK Flowers

DameFanny · 09/09/2020 22:34

@MamaLKB she has a younger child at home, and only one parent can be in the hospital right now - don't make her feel bad

Marmite27 · 09/09/2020 22:34

I was in hospital with DC2 the other week. DH cleaned the house from top to bottom and caught up on the laundry.

Cam2020 · 09/09/2020 22:35

you're not

peachgreen · 09/09/2020 22:37

@MamaLKB what a fucking horrible comment to make to a mother who is out of her mind with worry. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I'm so sorry to hear about your worry OP. I had a similar experience with my DH recently and it's utterly horrific. Hoping he's back home safe with you soon.

Gazelda · 09/09/2020 22:38

@MamaLKB

What?

Why are you not with your DC?!

I'm sorry but that's not normal. Mothers should be with their babies. How serious are we talking?

Seriously? The OP is at home with her younger child. The DS has his father with him. Do you really think you should be criticising the OP?

OP, I hope you get positive news very soon. You must be beside yourself with worry and I can imagine how awful it must feel being out of the loop.

I generally clean my oven at times do great stress.

Marmite27 · 09/09/2020 22:38

@MamaLKB

What?

Why are you not with your DC?!

I'm sorry but that's not normal. Mothers should be with their babies. How serious are we talking?

That’s not helpful, or kind. There could be lots of reasons why she’s not with her child.

When we were the other week there was a roughly equal amount of mums and dads with the patients. My own DC spent 3 days wailing for Daddy. If I’d have realised I wouldn’t have been able to swap after I was deemed COVID safe I’d have gone home and let him stay.

Cam2020 · 09/09/2020 22:39

*@MamaLKB what a fucking horrible comment to make to a mother who is out of her mind with worry. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I'm so sorry to hear about your worry OP. I had a similar experience with my DH recently and it's utterly horrific. Hoping he's back home safe with you soon.*

Thank you. Downright nasty. Nothing wrong with the child's father going with him, anyway!

Takemetothebar · 09/09/2020 22:42

@MamaLKB

Oh do fuck off. Clearly you are one of those women who feel that having given birth automatically makes them the superior parent. Is that just your ego, or did you procreate with a useless man? Some of us have children with men With whom we are equal parents.

UggyPow · 09/09/2020 22:43

Wow @MamaLKB that’s harsh & out of order - they made a joint parenting decision as to which parent looked after which child. You don’t know the reasons & don’t need to be judgemental.
OP I’ve been in that situation & we did the same as you husband went with older child (3) & I stayed home with younger (15 months) f yes I was the same as you doing jobs into the early hours probably very badly!!!

user1473878824 · 09/09/2020 22:43

@MamaLKB What a hideous comment.

Ishihtzuknot · 09/09/2020 22:45

If it helps you cope then don’t question it. It’s important to keep busy and positive, ignore judgemental idiots who have no idea what you’re going through. I really hope everything is ok and you have support irl right now. Keep talking/posting if it helps. Your DS is in safe hands Flowers

DramaAlpaca · 09/09/2020 22:48

When our DC were small it was almost always DH who took them to hospital if they needed to go, simply because he's always calm and rational whereas I can panic and get too emotional. He's just better at that side of parenting than me, we play to our strengths.

MamaLKB · 09/09/2020 22:50

[quote Takemetothebar]@MamaLKB

Oh do fuck off. Clearly you are one of those women who feel that having given birth automatically makes them the superior parent. Is that just your ego, or did you procreate with a useless man? Some of us have children with men With whom we are equal parents.[/quote]
No I do not think I'm the superior parent.

I'm just surprised she wouldn't want to go? It just seems odd. She asked the question! I've answered my view.

MamaLKB · 09/09/2020 22:50

Why couldn't you go to the hospital?

babybooyaa · 09/09/2020 22:51

[quote Takemetothebar]@MamaLKB

Oh do fuck off. Clearly you are one of those women who feel that having given birth automatically makes them the superior parent. Is that just your ego, or did you procreate with a useless man? Some of us have children with men With whom we are equal parents.[/quote]
This!

peachgreen · 09/09/2020 22:52

@MamaLKB that's not the question she asked and you know it. I'd be disgusted with myself if I had been so cruel to someone in so much pain. I don't know how you have the gall to keep posting to be honest.

peachgreen · 09/09/2020 22:53

@MamaLKB clearly because a) someone needed to look after her other child and b) they're only letting one parent accompany children to hospital at the moment because of COVID. My DH was taken in last week and I couldn't go with him. A comment like yours at such an awful time would have broken me.

Campervan69 · 09/09/2020 22:55

When my dad was dying I sorted out all our boxes of lego (3 boys so a lot) into colour order. So no entirely normal OP.

Hope your LO is soon back home with you. Its horrible being the one stuck at home anxiously waiting for updates. Also crap being the one in the hospital.

MamaLKB · 09/09/2020 22:55

Ok, well I'm sorry I've offended so many. I didn't mean to. I just thought it was strange, I would want to be with my baby and previously all 4 of us went.

Sorry if I offended anyone. Hope you're baby is ok OP x

MamaLKB · 09/09/2020 22:56

Your*

Original poster
Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 22:58

I like to think I'm an ok mum. To be honest we didn't really discuss who would go. Husband just went. Last time (in december), I was the one who went. It's a bit random but usually me. To be fair, I was working while the ambulance was called so it just defaulted to dh.

I don't particularly think mums need to be any more attached than dads. It's just dads sometimes make themselves more absent. Me and my husband currently have the boys roughly 50/50 as we work opposite shifts.

I want to sleep but am waiting for the washing machine

OP posts:
Chloemol · 09/09/2020 22:58

@MamaLKB

Nasty. Read the post she has two kids one of 2 one three. Both kids need their mother, for all we know she still feeds the 2 year old, or is needed in some way for that child

They cant all go to the hospital and your post is just not going to help

You know this may come as a shock to you but some dads are just as capable as mothers at looking after their kids, and in fact some are better in emergency situations.

Note knowing the ops circumstances there was simply no need to make such a nasty comment

Original poster
Heartofstrings · 09/09/2020 22:59

@MamaLKB I'm not offended in the slightest

OP posts:
CorianderLord · 09/09/2020 22:59

I'd probably be changing all the beds and scrubbing the bathroom sealant.

Stress cleaner.