To make my 10 year old go to sleep at 9pm

[gogojojo]

I'm trying to get my family back into a routine now that the DC are back to school

My eldest DC is 10 (just started year 6) and I have told him he is to go to bed at 8.30 and then can read till 9 then lights out (no electronics after 8.30). I've been told that this is totally unfair and all of his friends are online until 9 and he should be allowed to go to bed and 9 then read till 9.30

Is it U to tell him it's lights out a 9? What time do all of yoo pop u 10 year olds go to sleep?

That sounds fine to me. My ds is 12 and he goes up at 8.30-9 and is allowed to read for a bit. Don't believe what he says his friends do...according to my ds, his best mate is allowed to go to bed at anytime he wants between 3am and 8am

I'd say your suggestion is about right. It partly depends what time they get up, but mine went to bed about that time at that age.

My youngest is 13.5 and during the week his bedtime for actual sleeping is 10pm so 9pm for a 10 year old is fine - his was this until he was 12

Mine is 11, year 7 and he has no electronics after 7.30 any night. On a school night it's bed by 8 and lights out by 8.30, at the weekend it's a bit more relaxed, still bed by 8-8.30 but lights out by 9.30. Last year when he was in year 6 it was lights out by 8pm on a school night so I think 9pm is generous!

Don't believe what he tells you about his friends. I think 9pm is fine at that age.

My nearly 11yo in year 6 is in bed reading by 8 and lights out 8:45. TV/tablet off around 7.

Ha, I remember whining saying to my Mum

"Buuuut Jaaaane's Mum lets her do it".

"I'm not Jane's Mum, I'm yours" was invariably the answer

I have just asked a straw poll of 2 10 year olds who have just gone into year 6.

They are upstairs at 8, reading til 8.30 then messing around faffing til 9 when it's lights out.

They said all their friends are the same.

YABU to think you can "make" him go to sleep at any time, short of drugging him! YANBU to make him stop reading at 9, but keep an eye on it - if you find he is consistently waking up earlier than he really needs to, it might be time to push bedtime back a bit. I don't think there is any point comparing him with other children of the same age as they don'all need the same amount of sleep - only observation will tell you how much he needs.

My 11yo Y7 goes at 8:30 (still needs a lot of sleep) but we don't enforce lights out, she can read for as long as she wants to (which is usually not at all!). We have no screens in the bedroom although she has audiobooks.

At 12, I'd let him read for longer but not electronics.

My 10 year old has to be in bed at 8pm. He reads to me, I read to him, lights out 830-40 depending on chapter length. I expect him to be asleep by 850.

Once they get back into the routine of school and it gets dark earlier in the evening, I find their bedtime naturally gets earlier

Also depends on what time he has to get up

DS (12.5) is going at 8 - 8.30 at the moment. He's clumsy and whiny when he's over tired and this first week is killing him!

DD is 10 and a night owl. She’s usually heading to bed at 9:30pm-ish and asleep by around 10:15pm. She’s never had a bedtime before 9pm.

I think that's actually quite early as that's bedtime for my 5yo, but mine just doesn't need much sleep.

In fact, he's been falling asleep at around 23:00 the last few nights, despite aforementioned bedtime .

He's a bit more tired than normal, but fully functional still!

9 year old is up to bed by 7.30/8 and lights out to sleep at 9-9.15 if I don’t notice the time and tell her

I’m reading this wondering if I need to sleep train myself to stay awake longer

10yo DC2 goes up at 8, reads until 8.30-9. I think reading longer is fine, but prefer an early screen curfew.

@CheshireChat

I think that's actually quite early as that's bedtime for my 5yo, but mine just doesn't need much sleep.

In fact, he's been falling asleep at around 23:00 the last few nights, despite aforementioned bedtime .

He's a bit more tired than normal, but fully functional still!

That was my 5 year old.

My 11, nearly 12, yo In year 7 goes to bed at 9. She’s a creature of habit and likes to go to bed at the same time every day, although it was 9.30 in the hols. She actually set this time for herself though!

My 6yo would stay up as late as you’d let him, as he’s a real night owl, but obviously I don’t let him!

My 10 year old has melatonin to help him get to sleep. We try to aim it so he is in bed by 9 asleep by 9.30 I would rather be was asleep by 9 but his body doesn’t agree. Without melatonin it would be gone midnight.

The important thing is if he is getting enough sleep and not too tired the next day

I’d say no screen time alone in his room at all, and definitely no screen time past 7pm- the blue light will wreak havoc with his ability to sleep.