The term ''baby brain'' as a poor excuse

[DilemmaADay]

Not sure if this is unreasonable or not, but does anyone find people using "oops, baby brain" as an excuse when pregnant very irritating.

My SIL has been pregnant for the past few months and I brought her a voucher for a lovely meal out for her and DH for her birthday earlier this year (pre covid). I got nothing for my birthday, not even a card. I didnt mention it but when I heard from her she said she had completely forgotten my birthday and blamed it on "baby brain" with a tinkely little laugh. I havent had a belated card or anything, so I took that as she CBA rather than she genuinely forgot.

She recently used the term again when she forgot to get in touch with my DP about something. "Oops, baby brain!".

Funnily enough she never seems to forget anything benefiting her of her DH....
Does anyone else think the phrase 'baby brain' is a bit of a cop out? I have 1DC who I didnt suffer this with as far as I know

@bluebluezoo

www.brainfacts.org/brain-anatomy-and-function/body-systems/2018/how-pregnancy-changes-the-brain-022818

“ In 2016, a team of researchers from the Netherlands and Spain used magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to study what happens inside the brain during pregnancy. Comparing MRI images taken before women became pregnant with images taken after they had given birth, the researchers found pregnancy shrinks the brain’s gray matter, the pinkish-gray tissue containing the cell bodies and synapses of nerve cells. What’s more, the volume loss persisted for at least two years after childbirth.”

“While studies looking at cognitive changes during pregnancy and the postpartum period have produced mixed results, many women report experiencing memory problems, a phenomenon termed “pregnancy brain.” Spatial memory, for example, might suffer late in pregnancy because it’s not critical for offspring survival during that time. Instead, the body redirects energy and resources to caring for the baby”

www.scientificamerican.com/article/pregnancy-causes-lasting-changes-in-a-womans-brain/

www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/12/pregnancy-resculpts-women-s-brains-least-2-years

For the people asking for the studies/research behind baby brain......I did some reading about it a few months ago, and the science behind it convinced me at the time. However, I have baby brain and can't remember a single thing about it....

I’d find the tinkly little laugh annoying, but the forgetfulness thing is true - or it was for me.

I’m disorganised now, very forgetful and can’t multitask like I used to. I went to the supermarket in my slippers the other day, and went three days without a shower a month ago because I simply didn’t remember to have one. It’s a real thing.

I went to work and left my front door wide open for ten hours. It's real!

It was real for me the first few months were so bad. I forgot to get my best friend a birthday present and I felt so bad when I remembered. I put cereal boxes in the fridge, I forgot what day it was, I’d leave the keys in the car engine... running! I was never forgetful before but for some people, your brain is zonked. It’s better now a year later but I’m more forgetful than I was before having baby.

I think after a few months she’s just using it as an excuse but Whilst pregnant and after baby is born I’d shrug it off.

Sleep deprivation causes baby brain. Unless she’s having a difficult pregnancy I doubt she has any excuse to use the “baby brain” thing yet.

Perhaps SiL and her DH can't afford to reciprocate the expensive and thoughtful gifts you send. Babies are expensive to prepare for.

As long as pregnant women use the term baby brain in the work they won't be respected and do all women a disservice.

As long as pregnant women use the term baby brain in the workplace they won't be respected and do all women a massive disservice.

I didn’t have any cognitive dissonance while pregnant. If anything I felt more ‘high alert’. It was strange. I didn’t get tiredness either, so I wonder if ‘baby brain’ and tiredness were connected.

I forgot my postal code (not newly moved in either...). I put the peanuts in the fridge. I put a used drying towel in the fridge. I apparantly hid the pens somewhere. I forgot my exact age. I forget words every single day. Today I forgot a word that I used 3 sentences earlier! It was gone. DH thinks it's funny. He says he'll tell the baby that mum had a brain once. God, I hope it will come back, I feel uncapable of everything.

I don't forget dates, keys or appointments but that might just be me.

@galgaf12

As long as pregnant women use the term baby brain in the workplace they won't be respected and do all women a massive disservice.

Why though, if it has been proven to exist? It's also temporary.

@galgaf12

As long as pregnant women use the term baby brain in the workplace they won't be respected and do all women a massive disservice.

The big original study that supposedly established the existence of ‘baby brain’ has been completely discredited, because it tested a tiny group of pregnant women without testing their cognitive abilities when not pregnant, and the studies since have produced mixed results.

There’s certainly no scientific consensus it exists, apart from pregnancy tiredness and insomnia causing cognitive impairment in the same way as it does to the non-pregnant.

If it's proven to exist then pregnant women are less competant than a non pregnant person.

Also, pregnant women walking around the office saying "baby brain" when they mess up is poor and impacts on how employers view young women.

Look back at the mistakes people have talked about on this thread. Would you want somebody heading an important project making these mistakes?

BTW I'm typing on my phone and picking up typos is a little bit low.

My dps sisters don't get me presents for my birthdays, I don't get my brothers gf anything for hers. You are being precious.

"It's also temporary."

But whilst it's there it could result in significant errors then. Would you want a surgeon operating on your child to walk into an operating theatre and say "Forgot who the patient is... remind me... baby brain"

Of course! Because employers don't carry out any risk assessments for pregnant employees. And the operating team would just let a surgeon just happily hack away not knowing who the patient or procedure was. And, of course, male surgeons never make those kind of errors do they? And they don't even have the 'baby brain' excuse.

But whilst it's there it could result in significant errors then. Would you want a surgeon operating on your child to walk into an operating theatre and say "Forgot who the patient is... remind me... baby brain"

But on the other hand we are more than happy to overwork doctors and nurses in gruelling shift patterns who will experience fatigue and burnout, also greatly increasing the likelihood of error.

Different issue

In that specific case, she clearly forgot or can’t be bothered and yes, it’s a poor excuse.

I do honestly believe my brain changed after having children though. I find “life admin” incredibly stressful now although children related admin is easy. I have never forgotten what day PE is or what permission slips are due. I know every single child at school and what month they all have birthdays. Ask me to sort out the mortgage though and I practically hyperventilate. I used to be good at that kind of thing but now I am just .. less capable. I hope it goes away one day.

I don't for a second believe mothers are less capable but that IS what mothers are saying and women in the workplace lose out because of it.

I don't for a second believe mothers are less capable but that IS what mothers are saying and women in the workplace lose out because of it.

Nope. Never said it in my life. None of my friends or colleagues who have had babies have said it either.

I don't for a second believe mothers are less capable

But

If it's proven to exist then pregnant women are less competant than a non pregnant person.

Pregnant women SHOULD NOT be allowed to carry on as doctors or surgeons or nurses of lawyers or solicitors...

But whilst it's there it could result in significant errors then. Would you want a surgeon operating on your child to walk into an operating theatre and say "Forgot who the patient is... remind me... baby brain"

Make your mind up.

Baby brain means you put the car keys in the fridge, or you walk into door frames, or you forget that you told your husband something 5 minutes ago. It may be that you forget someone's birthday, but you dont laugh about it, and you dont then do nothing about it.

Your SIL is using it as an excuse.