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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report my neighbour to social services?

108 replies

Kk80 · 09/09/2020 16:34

Moved in to my current house about 2 weeks before christmas.

Next door neighbour is a drug addict, has 6 children (youngest was a tiny baby when I moved in couldn't of been more than 2 months old).

I've tried to ignore what is going on- I'm not perfect myself, I partied quite hard back in my youth before DC.

Part of me feels sorry for her- she is on her own with 6 children 24/7 one of which is confined to a wheelchair and is non verbal. So I get it....she has a tough time.

But the parties are constant until 3/4 in the morning and if the music doesnt wake my DC up the same sports car that whizzes up an down are narrow, 20mph street does. And when she has people there it comes back 4 or 5 times a night. And this is at least 3 or 4 nights a week.

The children look starving, never seem to be wearing different clothes (until recently going back to school and 2 of them at least are wearing uniforms that are too small)

I spoke to the school this morning and the head just rolled his eyes at me. I dont know who else to speak to?

OP posts:
pepsicolagirl · 09/09/2020 16:36

I suspect you are going to need something more solid. Sorry. Child protective services are stretched at the moment as well... How do you know she is a drug addict?!

tearsandtiaras · 09/09/2020 16:37

what evidence base do you have she is a drug addict ?

CaptainMyCaptain · 09/09/2020 16:37

Maybe the Head rolled her eyes because she knows about it but she can't say anything to you because it is confidential.

Call Social Services if you are concerned.

Alicenwonderland · 09/09/2020 16:38

It's always best to err on the side of caution and give children's services a call. If it's all hunky dorey then they won't get involved, but if there is an issue they can help. Perhaps this women needs more support especially if she has a SEND child. It doesn't sound like a great environment for the kids. Children's services don't look to take kids away, more offer support where needed.

Lockdownseperation · 09/09/2020 16:38

Contact ss. You are not reporting your neighbours but raising worries about children. SS may not do anything but your information maybe another piece of information which makes a up a jigsaw of information.

CodenameVillanelle · 09/09/2020 16:40

You don't need more to go on and I highly doubt the head teacher was meaning to dismiss your concerns. Report it, ASAP.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 09/09/2020 16:40

Report it to social services, they will follow up with a number of avenues.

Original poster
Kk80 · 09/09/2020 16:43

@pepsicolagirl

I suspect you are going to need something more solid. Sorry. Child protective services are stretched at the moment as well... How do you know she is a drug addict?!
I cant really think of any of other reason why a high end sports car would be on a council estate in Manchester at 2 o clock in the morning 🤷‍♀️.
OP posts:
ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 16:49

But the parties are constant until 3/4 in the morning and if the music doesnt wake my DC up the same sports car that whizzes up an down are narrow, 20mph street does. And when she has people there it comes back 4 or 5 times a night. And this is at least 3 or 4 nights a week.

This is not a matter for SS though. Police maybe?

The children ‘look starving’ .??

I would always make the report, however it’s odd that the children look quire so bad and school haven’t picked up on it

tearsandtiaras · 09/09/2020 16:50

There could be lots of reasons:
sex, weapons, end of a work shift.

i think you are over reaching to assume it must be drugs.

People lead different lives.

Codywolf · 09/09/2020 17:00

I would just ring the local safeguarding teams with any worries you have

Then leave it in their hands

Original poster
Kk80 · 09/09/2020 17:01

But the same car coming back 3/4 times a night everytime shes having a party? It doesnt take a genius does it let's be honest.

OP posts:
Thisisnotnormal69 · 09/09/2020 17:04

I’m not sure that’s solid evidence but if you’re convinced then do an email to social services...

JenniferSantoro · 09/09/2020 17:14

@ChickenwingChickenwing

But the parties are constant until 3/4 in the morning and if the music doesnt wake my DC up the same sports car that whizzes up an down are narrow, 20mph street does. And when she has people there it comes back 4 or 5 times a night. And this is at least 3 or 4 nights a week.

This is not a matter for SS though. Police maybe?

The children ‘look starving’ .??

I would always make the report, however it’s odd that the children look quire so bad and school haven’t picked up on it

Of course it’s a matter for social services. If the children are being neglected, whether it be through not being fed and kept up all night through noisy parties and possible drug taking then they absolutely should be involved. You’re right about the school, they have a responsibility too although in my experience schools can sometimes be pretty poor with their safeguarding.
ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 17:21

Of course it’s a matter for social services. If the children are being neglected, whether it be through not being fed and kept up all night through noisy parties and possible drug taking then they absolutely should be involved.

I said report? Just that the noise etc is not for SS. They don't come out and police house parties.

Notapheasantplucker · 09/09/2020 17:22

So how do you know its her who's taking drugs and not her visitors?

Even though you don't actually know its drugs...

MiriamMargo · 09/09/2020 17:30

Everyone has a moral responsibility to look out for the vulnerable, these children need you not to turn a blind eye, you need to contact social services, you can remain annoymous if it makes it easier for you, but please dont ignore your instincts.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 09/09/2020 17:32

Most of what you have is based on your own presumptions. If you said all this to the HT and they rolled their eyes then it suggests that they know more than you do.

As always, with concerns, call SS and tell them, but I can't imagine them coming out because you presume she's a drug addict because there's a nice car going down your road a few times a week.

HandfulofDust · 09/09/2020 17:33

From what op has seen then yes she should call SS. Its for SS to investigate who is taking drugs and whether the DC are at risk not op.

MiriamMargo · 09/09/2020 17:33

....and the drugs why are so many referring the that the biggest issue here is child neglect, if they look undernourished and there are numerous people coming to the address all times of the night then they clearly at risk

MiriamMargo · 09/09/2020 17:34

@tearsandtiaras

what evidence base do you have she is a drug addict ?
does that matter, the kids look starving in ops words
Wheresthebiffer2 · 09/09/2020 17:35

If the children don't have adequate clothing for school, I'm sure there are ways to help. The mum might not know about the help available to her.

RuffleCrow · 09/09/2020 17:36

Just report it, OP. What's the worst that can happen? She gives you an earful? Oh well. You'll live.

Emmelina · 09/09/2020 17:39

The NSPCC wouldn’t be a bad shout.
You can call, email or use their online reporting form.

www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/report/

june2007 · 09/09/2020 17:41

Ok say froo amoment she is not a drugie. Undernorished children and possible neglect is a reason to call SS. Sometimes people are over courtious this doesn,t sound like one of those times. What ddid the schools say? If you feal the school will do noubt phone SS.

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