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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report my neighbour to social services?

108 replies

Kk80 · 09/09/2020 16:34

Moved in to my current house about 2 weeks before christmas.

Next door neighbour is a drug addict, has 6 children (youngest was a tiny baby when I moved in couldn't of been more than 2 months old).

I've tried to ignore what is going on- I'm not perfect myself, I partied quite hard back in my youth before DC.

Part of me feels sorry for her- she is on her own with 6 children 24/7 one of which is confined to a wheelchair and is non verbal. So I get it....she has a tough time.

But the parties are constant until 3/4 in the morning and if the music doesnt wake my DC up the same sports car that whizzes up an down are narrow, 20mph street does. And when she has people there it comes back 4 or 5 times a night. And this is at least 3 or 4 nights a week.

The children look starving, never seem to be wearing different clothes (until recently going back to school and 2 of them at least are wearing uniforms that are too small)

I spoke to the school this morning and the head just rolled his eyes at me. I dont know who else to speak to?

OP posts:
AvoidingRealHumans · 09/09/2020 17:41

I would report but with facts not opinions. So state that the children look underfed and unkempt and parties go on until late in the night etc..
I wouldn't start saying she is a drug addict because a flashy car visits as you don't want it to look malicious.

Absolutely, if concerned about children we have a moral duty to report it, if its nothing then nothing will come of it, if its something then they can provide support.

iklboo · 09/09/2020 17:45

I spoke to the school this morning and the head just rolled his eyes at me. I dont know who else to speak to?

The head isn't going to discuss anything with you for confidentiality reasons. He may have rolled his eyes because he's contacted safeguarding umpteen times but nothing has been done. You don't know, unfortunately.

I live in Manchester - the dealers don't drive around in flashy cars, they're too obvious and likely to get pulled over, especially speeding about several times a night. They're more likely to turn up in a 'normal' car around here.

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 17:54

@RuffleCrow

Just report it, OP. What's the worst that can happen? She gives you an earful? Oh well. You'll live.

Certainly here as soon as a report goes in the children would not be allowed into the mother's care until SS had met with her. This may mean a meeting to find out they are ok to go home but further intervention happens. It could mean they go home NFA. It could mean in a Friday afternoon that they go into a temp foster home until Monday if SS cannot contact/meet with the mum. Just the other week we had a local case where a child said something in school which led to a SS referral just after lunch. They spoke to the child in school (high school) and they didn't let him leave until 6:30pm as they had gone to speak to the parents just after school and it took that long. He was kept in school and 4 members of staff remained with him.

I do still think this deserves repairing but please please don't be so flippant with 'what's the worst that could happen?' The immediate aftermath of a report can be quite traumatic for the children.

Alwaysinpain · 09/09/2020 18:32

@HandfulofDust

From what op has seen then yes she should call SS. Its for SS to investigate who is taking drugs and whether the DC are at risk not op.
THIS
Lockdownseperation · 09/09/2020 18:52

I’ve worked with children for over 20 years in various roles and during that time I’ve had to make a number of referrals to SS. I’ve need experienced what chickenwigs has described.

supersonicginandtonic · 09/09/2020 19:00

@Lockdownseperation I'm a family safeguarding worker in substance misuse. The people I work with are all drug or alcohol addicts and parents and I've never experienced the above either.
Its pretty hard to remove a child from their parents care!

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 19:01

@Lockdownseperation

Do you mean you have never?

Like I said that how it works under our local authority. Not with all referrals as many are concerns from school/GP/CAMHS and the like but when someone makes a report to SS outwith professional capacity it always investigated before the children can be left with the parent. Often it comes to nothing (a knot of malicious referrals) and often school will place an urgent referral so it's not how things always work, there are different circumstances but certainly a report from OP would trigger an immediate contact with parents before children could return/remain

Of course things don't work the same in all areas. Your experience mirrors mine in time only.

Lockdownseperation · 09/09/2020 19:03

Yes I have never heard of that in my area. I’m an ex teacher.

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 19:04

[quote supersonicginandtonic]@Lockdownseperation I'm a family safeguarding worker in substance misuse. The people I work with are all drug or alcohol addicts and parents and I've never experienced the above either.
Its pretty hard to remove a child from their parents care! [/quote]

Oh, I'm not saying the children are removed. In the vast majority of these cases the child be be allowed to return/remain home. Sorry, crossed wires here. I'm talking about an immediate contact with the parent following a report outwith the professional bodies. The example I gave of them boy form a few weeks back, he wasn't removed from his parents care but he was not allowed to leave a co oil and return to them until SS has spoken to them to ensure his safety. There is further action to be taken in that care but the child wasn't removed, he went home.

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 19:06

Oh so many typos Blush

KarmaStar · 09/09/2020 19:06

Yanbu at all and in your position I would definitely contact social services .

iusedtohavechickens · 09/09/2020 19:22

Please do call social services. If she has nothing to hide then nothing will come if it, however everyone has a duty of care and if you have any concerns you should report them.

scoobydoo1971 · 09/09/2020 19:32

Call social services and the police. The police have an emergency duty of care to children. If they attend the property and see children at risk, they are obliged to take action. It often takes lots of reports from lots of different agencies for child protection proceedings to trigger action. A call from you may force medical professionals to review the care arrangements for the child with a disability. This child is probably already know to medical or social care agencies, and may already be known as a 'child in need'. This house may be a place of drug dealing, and that will only get worse if action is not taking. Your concerns should also be lodged in a housing officer if this property belongs to the local authority or a housing association as they have a role in managing anti-social behaviour.

StormzyInaDCup · 09/09/2020 19:38

@Kk80 I'm in social work and I'd certainly be interested in this information. If nothing else, it would be allocated to be checked out.

It does not matter how stretched services are, or if you're unsure. Just report your concerns. It's a social workers job to assess the risk and deal with the information.

StormzyInaDCup · 09/09/2020 19:44

@ChickenwingChickenwing

I've never heard of that approach and that's quite a droconian approach to safeguarding! You can not remove a child without a police protection order, parents consent, or a court order. It's not legal.

It's not as easy as just taking a child. In the 12 years I've worked in social work, it has always been a last resort to remove a child and it will not happen without proving an immediate risk or ongoing risk. Even then parents are assessed and every avenue explored for that child. We do not just pop them in Foster care.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 09/09/2020 19:53

Certainly here as soon as a report goes in the children would not be allowed into the mother's care until SS had met with her. This may mean a meeting to find out they are ok to go home but further intervention happens.

No idea where you live, but I would bet anything that doesn't happen with every single report to SS, regardless of background, level of seriousness, reliability of source, etc.

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 19:55

No idea where you live, but I would bet anything that doesn't happen with every single report to SS, regardless of background, level of seriousness, reliability of source, etc.

No; it doesn't. I never said it happened with every single report. Interesting that you mention reliability of source, the example above was an anonymous report. These are the ones that have someone out ASAP as they have no details from professional bodies.

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 19:55

I've never heard of that approach and that's quite a droconian approach to safeguarding! You can not remove a child without a police protection order, parents consent, or a court order. It's not legal.

I actually didn't say anything about removing children.

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 19:57

Ok I did I said return or remove. The remove in that situation would be 'do you have anyone who the D.C. can stay with tonight' but I was really talking about when D.C. are in school the SS will immediately contact parents before the D.C. are allowed to return.

Emeraldshamrock · 09/09/2020 19:59

It sounds like an awful situation for the DC definitely speak to the nspcc unfortunately many families live like this.
One of my neighbours was reported multiple times for allow her DC to roam the street throughout the dark winters all 5 DC under 7 eat crisps and biscuits for their daily meals SS couldn't see an issue her home is spotless her DC are scruffy so they found no issues. Hmm

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 20:01

It's not as easy as just taking a child. In the 12 years I've worked in social work, it has always been a last resort to remove a child and it will not happen without proving an immediate risk or ongoing risk. Even then parents are assessed and every avenue explored for that child. We do not just pop them in Foster care.

I'm not suggesting for a minute that this happens. I said that SS would meet with the parent and either allow the child to return with NFA, allow then to return with future involvement or put them into temp foster (which is often just staying with granny for a night or 2 while things are ironed out at home). I know how hard it is to have children removed from volatile and dangerous homes.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 09/09/2020 20:02

No; it doesn't. I never said it happened with every single report.

Ah, ok, I think the issue is with how you worded it. Saying, 'Certainly here x would happen' would normally mean that... well, certainly where you live, x would happen.

SoddingWeddings · 09/09/2020 20:05

I worked in the police for a decade, and not once have I known the claims chickenwingchickenwing is making to happen. Especially not on a Friday afternoon of all days.

Please report to Social Services, including your concerns about the car and possibly linking to drugs. It may be the information they need to marry up with other concerns. Always give the full picture, you never know what's important.

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 20:05

Ah, ok, I think the issue is with how you worded it.

Or how you read it..:

Saying, 'Certainly here x would happen' would normally mean that... well, certainly where you live, x would happen.

'Certainly here x would happen' if OP made an a report to SS

I wasn't talking about all cases or cases that go through the professional bodies. I wasn't making it up either as people seem to think. It's part of my job.

ChickenwingChickenwing · 09/09/2020 20:06

worked in the police for a decade, and not once have I known the claims chickenwingchickenwing is making to happen. Especially not on a Friday afternoon of all day

Yes in a Friday afternoon they just ignore reports and let the children go home Confused

If you worked in the police for a decade surely you have the ability to realise that all areas are not the same?

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