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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My supervisor is wrecking stuff at work

53 replies

Kyloes · 09/09/2020 13:46

Name change as it’s work related and I don’t want to be found out.

Basically I am going through a probation period at work and the woman mentoring me gets the final say whether I pass or not. I work with her all the time. A few things have occurred. Someone drew a penis on the bathroom wall. Obviously nobody owned up to it but one of the blokes was suspected even though he swore it wasn’t him.
Someone stabbed a fork into the staff room wall and left it hanging there. Nobody owned upto it.

Recently a woman brought homemade buns in to share (I know, Covid alert) and they were laid out all pretty on the staff room table. I walked in there to get my drink and my supervisor was there with cake all over head hand and uniform. She quickly went to the sink to wash it off and said she’d just finished her lunch and walked out quickly. I then noticed that all the buns had been smashed to pieces. It caused a massive uproar and investigation. Nobody owned upto it.

Latest one, someone brought a slimming world book in with recipes etc and left it on the table for anyone who wanted to look at it. I walked in to find my supervisor defacing the book, drawing glasses and facial hair on the women, vampire teeth, devil horns etc. When she saw me she said “I fucking hate slimming world, look what I’ve done” and showed me she’d written horrible things all through the book, ripped pages, squashed butter through it etc etc. I said “why did you do that? X is going to be furious” so she replied “yep, good”.

Anyway afterwards she told me everyone in the team thinks I’m behind the stuff that’s been going on as I’m new and nothing like this has happened before. So I said “well why can’t you tell them it was you and apologise?” So she said she only defaced the book, i had done everything else!! Now I’m paranoid as of course they’ll blame me. She’s in her mid 40s, why would someone of that act like that? Only thing on my side is she’s been posting weird stuff on Facebook lately that everyone is talking about.
AIBU to just keep quiet?? If they think it’s me I don’t want to be the one bringing it up as it will look like I’ve been waiting for a reaction

OP posts:
HowDeeDooDee · 09/09/2020 13:48

They investigated buns. Wow.

iswhois · 09/09/2020 13:50

I want to work there this sounds hilarious

PanamaPattie · 09/09/2020 13:50

She doesn't sound well. I would look for another job.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/09/2020 13:50

Wow.

Ok. This is too big for you to deal with alone. Do you have HR? If so you need to report the whole conversation, factually and without opinion. Tell them you are reporting as you are concerned for Supervisors wellbeing.

What are her FB posts like? It may be worth advising HR to take a look if they support your approach and if she has a public profile.

RiseoftheSeahorse · 09/09/2020 13:50

If you keep quiet, they’re more likely to think it was you. (Although, judging by her behaviour, I’m not sure I’d believe that they’re all saying it’s you).

You really need to speak to your manager or HR. Have a quiet word with them and let them know what’s going on. Maybe frame it that you’re worried about her since this behaviour is so unusual. If people have already noticed her Facebook activity, they may suspect it’s her anyway.

User3627290 · 09/09/2020 13:51

I think you need to speak to someone about this. It’s such weird behaviour on her part that it potentially suggests a mental health crisis - especially if she didn’t used to behave that way. Do you have an HR department?

TheMandalorian · 09/09/2020 13:52

That is soo wierd. Can you get a spy camera and record her doing stuff? Maybe take in another slimming world book?
Be prepared to find a new job though cos this is batshit.
Sorry no useful advice

Alexandernevermind · 09/09/2020 13:53

Agree with Bernadette - straight to HR. I also agree with iswhois, but then I work alone, so this would cheer me up no end.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/09/2020 13:54

Can you get a spy camera and record her doing stuff? Maybe take in another slimming world book?

Do not do this. She isn't your MIL in your home. She is your supervisor in a professional environment.

Original poster
Kyloes · 09/09/2020 13:55

RE Facebook - she’s been posting her own conspiracy theories on covid. Other stuff that just doesn’t make sense. Stuff about death and reincarnation and this is apparently out of character for her.

I have no proof that she did the drawing or the fork, even the cake stuff really other than seeing her in a mess. The only thing she’s admitted to me was the book.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 09/09/2020 13:55

She sounds unhinged.

Splellow · 09/09/2020 13:56

I would let HR know that you saw her with cake all over herself. She really doesn’t sound well.

badg3r · 09/09/2020 13:57

I would speak to HE or higher management and say you are worried about her behaviours because they are not normal. I don't think your colleagues would necessarily think it was you. It's only one of several explanations.

ToastyCrumpet · 09/09/2020 13:59

You must report it. To be honest, I don't think you have anything to lose. If you don't, she is likely to blame you anyway.

SandAndSea · 09/09/2020 14:04

If you've got anyone you can speak to, that might help but I'd be looking for another job. When people show you who they are, believe them. Life's too short for nonsense like this.

Pbbananabagel · 09/09/2020 14:15

A sudden personality change can be symptomatic of quite sinister diseases Inc. cancer. Definitely bring it up. She needs help.

Terrace58 · 09/09/2020 14:22

You need to speak to HR of you have one. Tell them you think you are being blamed for these oddball incidents. Tell them about your knowledge of the cookbook and that you saw circumstantial evidence on the snacks.

Also start looking for job leads because this may not work out well even if you go to HR

Gazelda · 09/09/2020 14:27

Speak with HR. You've got nothing to lose.

LilyLongJohn · 09/09/2020 14:30

Speak with HR. You've got nothing to lose

This!

theemmadilemma · 09/09/2020 14:43

@ToastyCrumpet

You must report it. To be honest, I don't think you have anything to lose. If you don't, she is likely to blame you anyway.
This. Just report it, so your side is on paper.
iklboo · 09/09/2020 14:49

I want to work there this sounds hilarious

No, it really doesn't. It sounds childish and wearying (although I do hope you were being sarcastic).

Nottherealslimshady · 09/09/2020 15:20

I'd speak to who ever is above her but put a concerned spin on it rather than a grassing or shit stirring one. "I wanted to talk to you about something a bit delicate, I know I'm new but I've noticed Karen is acting a little strange and I'm wondering if you've noticed something, the other day I walked into the canteen and she was covered in cake, I don't know if she's the one who smashed them up or if itd happened before she got there but she'd managed to get alot more on her clothing than an adult should but I didnt see how it happened. However, when Jane brought her book in I did see Karen destroying it and she told me she did it because she hates slimming world and she was glad it would upset Jane. I'm just worried that she's struggling with something and hoped you could keep a compassionate eye on her?"

BlusteryShowers · 09/09/2020 15:29

If this is real, she sounds like she is having a breakdown.

PegasusReturns · 09/09/2020 15:35

Yep speak to HR.

If you don’t you’re going to be fired. If you do you might keep your job.

Coffeecak3 · 09/09/2020 15:35

Book a days holiday and have something delivered to a person at work, anonymously. E.g. a decorated cake.
If it gets smashed up when you're off then it's obviously not you.