Should I be concerned at my son killing flies, bugs etc.

[bumble79]

My son aged 9 has autism and is a little young for his so say the maturity of a 6-7 year old in some aspects.

He keeps killing Bugs, flies, spiders etc.

He doesn't like them and wants them gone but I tell him we must let them out, not kill them.

But he does it anyway when I'm not looking.

He just managed to kill a fly and then decided to cut it in half when I wasn't looking.

This is a relatively new problem.

Posting here for traffic. Should I be concerned? He's really gentle with animals such as cats and dogs but I keep telling him bugs are animals too.

Is killing bugs a sign he's going to have issues? I mean I'm guilty of squatting annoying flies but he seems to like squishing them...

Normal or not??

Not a bug, but I once buried a tadpole alive

I do still kill moths and crane flies because I am terrified of them, but I love other animals and have never ever harmed one.

Surely its instinctive for humans to kill bugs/flies etc. They are huge spreaders if disease, can bite & sting, and buzz annoyingly.

I always kill spiders, flies, mosquitoes, wasps etc. They are a nuisance and irritate me intensely. I'm an NT adult.

Thanks all. Interesting views. He is very kind and gentle to adults and other children and has never harmed bigger animals. But I am trying to teach him that bugs are animals too!! 😭

Spiders aren't a nuisance - they do so much good!

Both of my DC have been through phases of this, lots of over-exaggerated "look at this, Mummy's putting the spider outside" with giant smiles and relaxed body language might help. Or he might think you've lost it.

But I am trying to teach him that bugs are animals too!! 😭

Are you vegetarian? Or is it only okay to kill things that taste nice?

Am I the only person who thinks its odd to be so bothered by a child killing nuisance bugs?

My nephew is 6 he kills all bugs hes a savage. He'd pull a spiders legs off. He is otherwise lovely and loves hugs. We are hoping hes not a psychopath

@gubbbbbddaaaa why do you presume he has no empathy?

@bumble79

Thanks all. Interesting views. He is very kind and gentle to adults and other children and has never harmed bigger animals. But I am trying to teach him that bugs are animals too!! 😭

Plenty of grown adults will squish bugs - you read threads about it on here all the time. It's really nothing to worry about.

It's nothing to worry about. Yes, hurting or killing animals can be a sign of psychopathy, but it's so much more complicated than that. You can't diagnose under the age of 18 because children by nature show signs when they're perfectly normal. If he upgrades to bigger animals, or was hurting smaller children etc then I could understand the concern, but for the moment he isn't doing anything to worry about.

My son when he was younger was violent, and I had worries, so I do understand, but he's developed into a wonderful and caring young man.

I wouldn't say it's normal and I'd be concerned over his lack of empathy. To cause any pain to any creature is cruel. To be able to kill any animal and then cut it up is worrying behaviour, IMO.

I don’t think the fact he kills them is unnecessarily a problem, the fact he goes further is imo a cause for concern.

My DS has no empathy whatsoever but never killed things even as a child ( he's not a Seiel Killer now either)

I used to make Spider Houses out of Lego. The naice floors had windows and doors , the Naughty Floor had none .
I never managed to catch any inhabitants though .

I;m a Vegetarian, do I win?

I kill slugs, they eat my vegetable plants. I don't go around harming people.

Normal. I'm also a spider killer if they are in my house. I know you shouldn't. But they shouldn't come in my house lol. I can't stand the cellar ones or the big house spiders!

Absolutely normal for a child his age, autism or no autism. Keep reinforcing your values and calmly explaining why we dont do that.

@gubbbbbddaaaa - its incorrect that people with autism do not feel empathy . Some people with autism struggle with theory of mind (the ability to put yourself in someone else's experience), which may mean they struggle to understand how someone is feeling or why they feel the way they feel. However, when they understand they absolutely have empathy (feeling the pain and joy of others). For this reason, researchers can phrase it as people with ASD struggle with the cognitive aspects of empathy (understanding what others feel) but not the emotional aspects (feeling what others feel).

I kill mosquitos and squish flies. I am not a sociopath.

Bobbyandme do you kill them because you're too scared to put them outside?

I am a meat eater. I was brought up to only ever kill things I planned to eat. I dont understand grown adults killing creatures that they could just as easily move outside without harming.

For the spider killers:

Buy him a Venus fly trap so he can feed them to it. Circle of life and all that.

Nothing to worry about. The message your son gets from society is that insects are a low form of life compared to others (maybe not true from an environmental or philosophical perspective), so his behaviour is not surprising. Have conversations with him about it but in a non-judgy way. My DS always killed insects when he was younger and I would say things like, 'don't you think they have a right to be alive?' and was clear I wouldn't generally kill them, but I didn't get really on his case about it. How about some books or documentaries about how complex they are and the role they have in our ecosystem, without getting all heavy about the killing?!

And flies are not technically animals. They’re in the insect kingdom.

There are six kingdoms of life - Archaebacteria, Eubacteria, Fungi, Protista, Animals and Plants. Insects fall into the Animal kingdom.

OP - I would keep teaching him that this is wrong and he shouldn’t kill living things, but I don’t think it means he’s a psychopath or incapable of empathy. Empathy is a skill children learn, and it’s hard for them to feel empathetic to something very small and very different from themselves like an insect. Keep teaching and he will learn.

Both my DD’s have autism, my eldest won’t harm anything and won’t let me kill spiders or flies, she even got upset once when I had to kill head lice in her hair 🤣.
My youngest wouldn’t kill insects but she really hates the cat and has attempted to chuck a book at him on several occasions.

Is killing flies... bad?

For people who think it's wrong to kill insects, how do you eat? Or is it OK that insects are slaughtered in their millions for our bread, but not OK to kill ants in your kitchen?