Gp not taking me seriously because I have anxiety

[Bobbyandme]

So upset right now. I've been suffering with on and off anemia for months. I've been weak and exhausted. My periods have been painful. I had a particularly bad one that made my eyes blurry and I've had four days in the house with a headache and weakness. Palpatations etc. Ofcourse it makes me worry. I'm a parent and when I'm down it affects my husband's work and my child needs to get to school etc.

So after my family expressed their worries when I cried yesterday I called the drs. I told her I do get anxious because I've had alot of worries about being able to function for my kids. I told her I'm worried because since February when my iron was down to 6 I've felt rubbish. I've tried the mini pill and bled and bled. I tried transexamic acid and it did nothing. I tried microgynon and it made me nauseous and low moods. She told me she would refer me but today she suddenly remember any of that. She ignored me telling her my ovary has been hurting for weeks. I told her I'm bed bound on period days.

Her only solution was join the waiting list for steps to change. Or have a hormonal coil put it that can cause bleeds for six months. No matter how hard i tried to tell her my anxiety is from my anemia and bad periods. She wouldn't believe me.

I am anxious because my periods ruin my life. I am always weak and in pain.

I'm really upset as now I feel there's no help for me. What do I do? I desperately need them to take me seriously. It's gotten to the point where we've discussed taking DD out of school until I'm better as oh job is 90 miles away. He works from home the best he can. But sometimes this isn't an option. On top of everything else I want a life again.

@Graphista I hardly know where to begin with your post. So much so very wrong

Well read all my other posts and look at all OP's other posts, under diff usernames and then a full picture will emerge.

I don't need to and I don't want to.

Ops have the right to name change (and you may be assuming another op is this op and be wrong), to include and exclude information as they choose.

You don't have to post you don't even need to read if it annoys you that much

@Graphista yrs, name change is fine. But posting the same thing ( with key details missing ) and attacking people who disagree or calling people bullies who support their GP's findings in offering mental health support.

How does help the OP exactly?

The op needs to feel heard, listened to.

I don't think anyone including myself has said not to access the mh support if the op thinks it would be helpful.

But trying to treat the anxiety without addressing the root cause is a hiding to nothing really.

And mh hcps get frustrated with patients being placed on them when really what's wrong is a physical cause.

@Graphista "The op cannot have your posts deleted any more than you can hers, mnhq decides that. I don’t always agree with their moderation but generally they seem to get it right. "

I see the OP has been deleted Maybe there was some substance to what i said after all.

Good grief!

You cannot bear not having the last word can you?

Such immature behaviour

If you don't like how an op posts ignore their threads you can even hide them

@Graphista @You cannot bear not having the last word can you?"

No!

The OP has said she is within the 'normal' range now. This does not indicate a solely physical cause. You should not 'fall to the floor' trying to walk if within normal limits.

The OPs needs are clearly complex and she has lost trust in her GP for whatever reason. There will be no improvement in the OPs issues.

OP, can you change GPs? Find one that you are more comfortable with. It may mean starting from scratch to get the diagnosis you need but, surely with someone you aren't second guessing all the time, it will be easier to move forward. I hope that you can do this and wish you luck doing so.

I’m in the same situation and I feel like I’ve gone round in circles for years with them but I did do as they advised to a certain extent as otherwise they just become difficult. They have a set of guidelines to follow and to get a gynae referral basically you have to have tried and failed a number of things including Mirena as from experience it’s highly likely the gynae will say the exact same thing!

I have to say the mirena while it worked did work well. Unfortunately the 2 times I had it in, it fell out of me pushed by fibroids. After it failed both times I did get a gynae referral but guess what I am still in the same situation I have a hb of 78 and apparently ‘small red blood cells’ so god knows what is really going on.

I literally have these options:
Continue to be anaemic
Take some form of hormones to try to help

I don’t want to take hormones either but I’m going to have to, to try to get well from the anaemia. The 2 options i have left are norethisterone to thin the lining and zoladex for a 1 year fake menopause.

I’m trying the norethisterone first

I feel for you, this is shit. I’m awake with random womb cramps right now (not even on period) and I feel 24/7 like crap. I only had a blood test done because my lips and tongue were basically burning sore like hell fire and they kept trying to say it was thrush. I feel your pain but you are going to have to work with them to help you x

@KatherineofTarragon

It's really none of your business how many times I post. It would take me years to write the whole story of the last year down. I think you display strange behaviour by yourself. Who even has the time to be stalking someone who's got period issues and anxiety. I have acknowledged my anxiety. I have told the drs why I am anxious. I am not in any sort of denial. But here's a special time line of my life.

July 2019 after months of feeling weak and not quite right I go to the drs. I explain my chest is weak. I feel wobbly and my concentration goes when I'm out. She said you sound anxious here is a CBT card.

A month later i decide I'm not happy with that. I wasn't anxious at this point. She did bloods. Called me in and said no wonder you feel so bad. You have no iron reserves. I was giving the combination pill. Started that. It didn't agree with me. Moods went low. I was heavng into a bowl in the night as it was irritating my stomach. I felt pregnant. As soon as I stopped taking the pill those symptoms went. I was given transexamic acid which seemed to just make me pour with blood on the 4th day.

I took the iron. Had repeat bloods. Receptionists said no further action.

Life carried on for 3 months and then in February 2020 I had the heaviest period. I was shaking from the blood loss. It put me in bed for a week. I had bloods. I was told I could not have the mini pill to try as I could bleed and that was not good for anemia. I was sent to the local hospital for a scan. One fibroid was found. It was small. I was told that would not be causing any issues. My Dr said she would refer me to gynocology after this scan if we had no answers.

Three weeks later I was called in to discuss said bloods. The male locum doctor said I was anemic. He gave me the mini pill. Gave me more iron and sent me away.

Five weeks later I'm still bleeding every day. I'm weak. I'm tired. He says you can either try the combination pills again or keep going with this. I waited two more weeks and the bleeding wasn't stopping so I came off it.

I phoned the drs in July time and asked for a liquid iron as the ferrous sulphate was giving me stomach pains and nausea. I was really uncomfortable. He said stick it out another month. He gave me lanzaprazole for my stomach. If you read up on that it prevents iron absorption and is not good for your stomach. So I decided to not use that.

A month later i phoned again to discuss a better iron. I got my female doctor. She said well have you taken your vitamin D? I asked what vitamin D. She told me I was also supposed to have been prescribed that in march but they forgot to tell me. So she quickly printed out that. She said it was really low. She then said she didn't think the Dr should have given me the mini pill as that's not usually suitable for women who have anemia. She then said she was going to rescan my ovaries. Do loads of bloods. Then refer me (I told her my partner has me on his work Insurance)

A receptionist called me and said which hospital would you like. I said locally. Then she said tbh with you none of the hospital's have got the services running. They at best may do a phone call but they are not seeing people. So I said ok I will be refered when coronavirus isn't stopping the services.

I've kept on with my iron. But over the summer I've been unable to get healthy and energised despite eating well. Supplementing and drinking water. I've been trying to go for good walks. But I'm having nausea, headaches, weakness and general exhaustion. I've been worried about my children as I've needed alot of rest and my periods are getting worse. So I often need to stay close to home on those days. I also experience headaches alongside them now which can wipe me out for 2-3 days. Hormones around ovulation leave me feeling achy, sick and tired. I also spot with it. I've had a couple of panic attacks in the night over the summer. All three of them were exactly 7/8 days before my next period and feel linked to hormones. I have good days too. I know I'm not depressed because I have good days. I know my anxious feelings come from my body doesn't care what day it is. If my child's at school my body won't be strong that day. So I've wanted to resolve this issue so I can be reliable for my kids. Plus I am fed up of not feeling with it. Feeling dizzy and wobbly when I walk to peoples houses. Not being able to sit on people's sofas incase I bleed. Sleeping on towels. Having toget out of anything that happens on days 2-4 of my period. Its ruined holidays for me. It's stopped me meeting friends. I can't even begin to imagine getting a part time job until I feel well.

I've had seven headaches in 4 weeks. That's a week of this month I've spent feeling sick and blurry eyes. The Dr didn't even advise me on this. Because it's anxiety apparently. Even though something is trapped in my left shoulder and it's squeezing up my neck. My stomachs churning for the 5th day in a row this morning because it's affecting my eyes and head. I reminded her about the receptionist ringing to refer me yesterday. She said why was you being refered? I said because you said you would. She said oh right.

Clearly not on my notes.

So in the last year.

She wrongly diagnosed me with anxiety instead of doing bloods first. At this stage I was a very happy person just tired!

Then another doctor gave me the pill the above doctor said I couldn't have.

Then he forgot to read my notes and see I had vitamin D deficiency. So I missed three months of that.

She has then said she was going to do all these bloods and scans and things. I have bloods. I get the receptionist saying no further action. No discussion about what they found. No suggestions to anything. No update on the plan. No letters about any appointments. Ok I know it has been coronavirus this year but why say it thennot bother?

Then I ring up to discuss being refered again as I just want to sit in a room with someone who has time for me! I'm sick of GPS rushing through a phone call and getting nowhere. Only for her to have no memory of us discussing me being refered.

Yes I phoned up a month ago about my worries about going out because of all my symptoms. Yes it's made me worry and I've been trying to figure out the worst case scenarios. Ofcourse I'm worried that I brought kids into the world and now I'm trying to work out how I will walk 4 miles a day to get them to school. Ofcourse I'm worried about my energy and letting them down. Infact this week I've been frightened because my eyesight has been weak and my head is really weak too. I've been having to lie down as noises and light has made my head go funny. This isn't anxiety. This is because something in my neck isn't right. I wanted advice on what to do for it.

I appreciate I've got

Period problems
Neck problems and now anxiety on SOME days around my children and me being well enough for them. But I'm not an anxious mess all the time. Yeah I could talk to someone. But they can't change my hormones and my symptoms. They sent stop the pains and the bleeding. They can't make my body feel well and absorb iron well.

Yes my iron is in the bottom range of normal now. But it is not optimal. Nowhere near. But gps don't care about that. So some of my symptoms have gone but not all. It may not even be in the bottom range of normal now.it has likely slipped back down because of that horrible period last month. I know my own body now.

I come on mumsnet to try and talk to other women and I get chased around the board by the odd person who has read my story before. They always tell me there's nothing wrong with me it's not about my periods. It's about my mental health. I have no reason to deny how I feel. If I was fine and it was just my mental health I would be on the mental health boards being honest that's there's nothing wrong with my body it's my head. There's not shame in that. I know what it's all about. My cousin hung himself in his caravan last year so I understand how important it would be to get help. I'm not saying I'll never talk to anyone about things. But until I don't have to live my life around these things I can't truly be me again. All I want is to be a reliable functioning mum for my children. Ofcourse it's upset me that I don't wake up and feel well enough to take them out for the day. Ofcourse it upsets me that I get headaches after pushing my pushchair. I hate standing in the playground having to keep myself together on the bad days because my periods hurting and my eyes are watery and blurry and people's voices make me irritated because I have no energy.

The difference is when I'm anxious I panic. I'm in fight or flight mode. I feel snappy and have no patience. But I hide it well. But those days are rare and most of my bad days are real issues with my body.

I can't write much more down to explain myself. But this is my real story. I'm not going to apologize that I write different things about it. It changes week to week. For all the people saying I am refusing to try things or I'm not ill enough to be refered there's thankfully people who also get it. Who know what it's like to live half a life. To feel you can't be heard. The help is not there. The time is not there. Nobody is truly there to listen. A rushed phone call with a gp is all you can get. After days of feeling really unwell to be dismissed by her like that yesterday. For her to have forgotten things that should be on her screen. It's disheartening.

In regards to mental health. I can fully see why people give up. The support out there for mental health is also a sham. Waiting weeks and weeks for a space to become available. I'm sorry but there are people out there that need those services so much more than me. I just need to get my energy levels sorted. I display alot of symptoms of diabetes now. But she checked it in February so she won't entertain it. What can you do though?

There is a level of anxiety that is causing you to feel so unhappy, it’s due to lots of factors and COVID won’t be helping as health services are in limbo. I agree it is not ok to fob you off with blaming your mental health at the same time, from experience it would actually benefit you to address some of what you have described on here. I don’t think it is going to be helpful to your mental health to try to get more testing for diabetes right now, I think it would be helpful to you to deal with each issue one by one.

NHS physio is not seeing people at the moment. Weirdly I also have this neck pain and headaches but this is due in part to lockdown, a lot of time on phone or on soft furnishings where I would usually have been at work in an office chair. Detoxing from my phone at times helps the headaches. You could get an eye test you might have dry eyes. I’ve had that before and it can make you blurry. Neck related migraines are really annoying I know. You need to make sure you are stretching enough sleeping right and not getting stuck in one position too long. Have you looked to see whether the local physio service takes self referrals? Perhaps a private consultation? This would be faster. I would try to deal with this one outside of the GP

If you had low iron stores then from experience too this does affect you, if your haemoglobin is normal but low then you need to continue to take iron. You will feel better at some point. PPI does inhibit iron but if you need to take lanzoprazole for your stomach then take it. Don’t make it worse by not taking things. I’m the same, iron makes me ill with constipation. I have had low ferritin (stores) previously and felt really rough. With low haemoglobin my body has actually been breaking down, my tongue and lips are painful and I also struggle to walk but I have to go to work (I work full time and have 2 DC and I’m on my own) because I have no other option. Low vitamin D also made me feel awful

The progesterone only pill should thin the lining of the womb and help the bleeding. Mirena also helps with bleeding it is true. Totally understand why you don’t want it but even gynaecologists are keen to put one in you!

I am not saying it is right for GP’s to treat women like this but also, there may be no specific cure or treatment that’s going to help it might be lots of different things combined that help you get back on track. It’s not a bad idea to speak to someone from mental health about how to manage your feelings about this and also how to find ways to move forward. Staying in your house all day with your child is not going to help you in any way.

Call your GP tomorrow. Calmly ask for 1 thing - a referral to a gynaecologist. Don’t ask for more scans or bloods or physio or anything extra. One thing at a time, focus on that. Gynae will do their own tests. You might be a candidate for an ablation so say to Gp simply that you now want to see a gynaecologist, as you have tried lots of options

Don’t read up about blood transfusions etc, it’s not going to happen they have their own risks as well and you don’t qualify for that.

I hear you. I've had exactly the same thing and have been through the gamut of cures:

Iron transfusion
D&T along with cauterisation of bleed points
Fibroid removal

Nothing worked long-term, though the iron transfusion had an astonishing affect initially.

I was told that the problem was due to an excessive blood supply to my uterus. There are clusters of enlarged veins, a bit like hemorrhoids or varicose veins, so when the lining sheds, it bleeds A LOT. There's not much can be done about that.

I wish that I had tried the Mirena option earlier, but like you, I was worried about the effects of the hormone. Now, I'm perimenopausal, so I'll just wait it out.

Thanks ladies. My head's pounding today. This nerve in my shoulder is radiating into my head. I feel sick and dizzy. No idea what to do or whether it will correct itself.

@Bobbyandme One obvious thing- you say you have private health cover though your DH. Why on earth are you not using this fully?

Get yourself off to a good gynaecologist who specialises in period issues (they all have their specialisms.) If you don't know how to find one, look at the websites of your local private hospitals and read their bios- most consultants these days also have their own websites and many do not need a GP referral. You don't have to stick to local consultants either- you can go anywhere you want.

(I travelled 40 miles to a city to find the right dr.)

That's your starting point.

You can deal with the rest once you get the bleeding sorted.

Time to leave the NHS IMO as it's not working for you, and use your private health care to explore other options.

OP it sounds like you've had pretty substandard care. The early misdiagnosis, the contraindication for the mini pill, the missed vitamin d prescription are all not great by themselves and taken together they definitely don't inspire confidence. I really feel for you. It's just unacceptable to me to leave someone with that level of suffering and I can't see it happening if this wasn't about periods and "women's issues"!

(If you are looking for a way to pass the time while resting, you might be interested to listen to the podcast Bodies which basically tells a series of stories of women getting substandard care for things like painful sex, heavy periods, menopause etc. It can be anger inducing but also comforting and relatable!)

I think wiping the slate clean and starting again with a private GP is potentially one of your best options right now.

I think wiping the slate clean and starting again with a private GP is potentially one of your best options right now.

No, not a private GP- most insurance policies won't pay for that- a private gynaecologist. They can do the periods stuff and once that is right, they can suggest other drs to help with the rest.

@Bobbyandme did you know that many insurance policies will also cover counselling and CBT? (Id the practitioners are correctly qualified.) For your anxiety.

I guess I suggest a private GP because in some cases you need that to get the referral, and you might have to pay £200 or so for initial appointment. If you can self refer to gynae that's better but it isn't always possible.

Insurance won't cover self-referrals (they want a letter from GP) but often it's just an admin thing- ask the GP (by phone) for a referral letter for a private consultation. It's no skin off their nose as you are relieving them of the job and saving the NHS an appt.

Mental health and physical health are linked, stress and anxiety make physical problems feel so much worse; it is definitely worth going down that route as well as continuing to sort your other problems. As a long term sufferer from neck and shoulder problems which always get worse when I am stressed, I can say that while physio has helped, together with a set of exercises which I am supposed to do regularly (but don't), my TENS machine is fantastic!

I agree re physical health and mental health. They are linked. Stress depression and anxiety very much can lead to muscle tension spasms and headaches, numb fingers and such like. If you are confined indoors for long periods and inactive, this is not helping you. I think part of the reason GP is trying to address your mental health is that you are describing to her almost giving up on life and shutting yourself away. Obviously they are going to try to address that part too as it’s no good for your mental health.

You need to push for a gynae referral. The GP needs to treat your gynae issues separately from any MH issues. No wonder you feel awful, it sounds like an ordeal every month. They aren't always great with chronic illness as it isn't easy to fix.

I have low iron stores (ferritin) at the low end of the normal range and it does still give you symptoms. I've been a bit lax taking my iron recently and my hair has started shedding again. I've read that levels below 40 can cause hair loss (and other symptoms) and I've found this to be the case.

Low iron (even at low end of normal range) also affects your mood. I'm wondering if your difficulty catching a breath is due to low iron, because it causes lower oxygen to circulate in the blood. @Menora I also have small red blood cells, with normal iron but lower end ferritin.

I will suggest a few things that have helped me with awful periods and low iron, they may not work for you as you are having a lot of issues. I would still push for a referral and a diagnosis, whilst trying other things whilst you are waiting. I understand the reluctance about Mirena, I was offered it after second baby for contraception and I declined as I'd also heard the horror stories about its issues for some women and the difficulty getting some hcps to agree to remove it. It's more cost effective than the pill over five years, so they prefer for women to keep it for a longer time period and not have it removed early on.

I've have found that dealing with chronic illness seems to be like finding all the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle rather than a magic bullet, with lots of tiny things that make it a little bit better. Together, these can add up and improve things a lot. Over the years I've gone from being out of action two days a month with awful periods including vomiting repeatedly on the first day to not needing any pain killers. I also had a lot of back and neck issues and these have improved so much too. I have fibroids confirmed by pregnancy scans and they aren't seeming to cause too much of an issue, apart from heavy flow on day one.

• take the iron tablets with fruit or a vitamin c source as it improves the absorption of non-haem iron. Avoid taking the iron with dairy (any calcium) or tea or coffee as it inhibits it. Also try and get some iron rich foods. You are losing a lot of blood each month so it's hard to catch up on the iron, anything that helps absorb it may be a tiny improvement.

• try and balance out your hormones naturally. Things like getting enough sleep, avoid alcohol and caffeine so your liver has more capacity to detox your hormones. I've tried to move to green cleaning products and cosmetics too to avoid any endocrine disruptors. I've ditched highly perfumed products and avoid plug-ins and scented candles. I'd rate bio-d and ecover for cleaning. I even have plants to detox the air (not completely batshit, NASA researched it in the 70s )

• bizarrely, I found improving my posture helped both with neck/back issues and my periods. If you get the awful period pains down your thighs too, try stretching out every day. I notice if I don't. Gentle yoga works well too.

-another weird one (although pp said a mooncup switch from tampons helped her too), I've found using either cotton/eco towels or reusable towels helped with period pain. I also found it stopped serial UTIs, maybe it's more breathable?! The reusables ones are a PITA to clean, are good for heavier flows if you get the heavy/night ones.

@Graphista Thanks for the insight. I think it happens to a lot of women and it is not OK. No one should have to suffer in pain for years.

OP I just read through your last post. It sounds awful, a lot to deal with. I hope you get some resolution.

Read all your lovely helpful replies. I've taken note of all of it thankyou. I'm feeling abit queasy still but will reply to you more later. Really appreciate the tips! You don't know how much your kindness means to me!

I sympathise, really, this is horrendous that women are expected to suffer at such length before being taken seriously. I have had similar experiences, and what I would say is, frustratingly, you do have to go down a journey of trial and error before knowing what works/the root cause of issues. Personally I had years of varieties of different pills, patches, injections and then the coil before scans of womb and ovary. Then a laparoscopy where adhesions were treated before another nearly 12 months of different management before hysterectomy was decided upon. In that time I was heavily reliant on tramadol, gabapentin and other painkillers and still in a lot of pain.
Despite everything I am actually glad that I tried the other avenues. Hysterectomy was a drastic option that took me months to recover from, and emotionally still impacts me, so although it was the right choice, it's important to feel it's been the last one for me.
I also suffer from anxiety and continue to medicate for that even now. Certain my years of chronic pain and exhaustion contributed to this, but I see no shame in managing this as best I can. In fact, I feel very much in control now, which considerably helps my mindset.
Op, your posts remind me of myself in that pit of despair not knowing how things would get better. For me, managing my anxiety as a separate issue actually helped me to better focus on my physical issues. I would also recommend 2 things: physio for your shoulder and neck pain and contact your GP seeking referral immediately to a private gynae consultant through your husband's work. Make use of your ability to access this - frees up an overwhelmed NHS service and allows you more control over what you're asking for.