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Gp not taking me seriously because I have anxiety

164 replies

Bobbyandme · 07/09/2020 13:01

So upset right now. I've been suffering with on and off anemia for months. I've been weak and exhausted. My periods have been painful. I had a particularly bad one that made my eyes blurry and I've had four days in the house with a headache and weakness. Palpatations etc. Ofcourse it makes me worry. I'm a parent and when I'm down it affects my husband's work and my child needs to get to school etc.

So after my family expressed their worries when I cried yesterday I called the drs. I told her I do get anxious because I've had alot of worries about being able to function for my kids. I told her I'm worried because since February when my iron was down to 6 I've felt rubbish. I've tried the mini pill and bled and bled. I tried transexamic acid and it did nothing. I tried microgynon and it made me nauseous and low moods. She told me she would refer me but today she suddenly remember any of that. She ignored me telling her my ovary has been hurting for weeks. I told her I'm bed bound on period days.

Her only solution was join the waiting list for steps to change. Or have a hormonal coil put it that can cause bleeds for six months. No matter how hard i tried to tell her my anxiety is from my anemia and bad periods. She wouldn't believe me.

I am anxious because my periods ruin my life. I am always weak and in pain.

I'm really upset as now I feel there's no help for me. What do I do? I desperately need them to take me seriously. It's gotten to the point where we've discussed taking DD out of school until I'm better as oh job is 90 miles away. He works from home the best he can. But sometimes this isn't an option. On top of everything else I want a life again.

OP posts:
greengreengrass14 · 07/09/2020 15:23

I took my coil out myself when I wanted to. You are not supposed to dot this but I wanted the control and glass of wine and just gently pulled. Put it in a bag to make sure it was whole in case i needed to show anyone. And that was it.

Dramalady52 · 07/09/2020 15:23

Re: referral to a physio for your neck, some GPs are not doing the referrals any more, you have to refer yourself. Depends on your area, I found this out when I needed physio for my knee. I was told to get a form from the gps reception which I filled in and posted. I was contacted very rapidly and seen within a week or two. Perhaps this might be the case where you are?

JinglingHellsBells · 07/09/2020 15:25

. And like you say it's not like it can easily be removed. It seems to be very marmite- some people it can be a game changer and some people never get on with it and have major issues.

So the very least anyone should do is try it.

@OliviaBenson The reason you bleed so much is you just bleed a lot. There are no clear cut answers to heavy periods. Some women just do. They might have bigger wombs, or their wombs respond to estrogen more 'efficiently' and produce a thicker lining.

The only way to control this is either with hormonal treatment like the combined pill, or the Mirena, or Tranexamic acid each month, or an ablation.

I also feel it's wrong for some women here to use their own single experience of not finding anyone to remove a coil as 'gospel'. It's not like that everywhere.

Years back I had ongoing bleeding with a copper coil and went to a walk in family planning clinic and it as removed there and then.

CorrectileDysfunction · 07/09/2020 15:26

For those worrying that the mirena and mini pill are the same hormine, yes, they are.

BUT: one is systemic and the other is locally acting. It's the difference between using alcohol hand gel on your hands, and downing the bottle.

CCSS15 · 07/09/2020 15:27

Have you had a full blood work up done as maybe its a combination of things? Certainly some of your symptoms could be from something like low b12 - have you started pills / diet to tackle the low vit d?

CorrectileDysfunction · 07/09/2020 15:29

@CCSS15 b12 is tested in the same panel of bloods as iron. The OP didn't have an abnormal blood result from that test

OliviaBenson · 07/09/2020 15:51

@JinglingHellsBells

. And like you say it's not like it can easily be removed. It seems to be very marmite- some people it can be a game changer and some people never get on with it and have major issues.

So the very least anyone should do is try it.

@OliviaBenson The reason you bleed so much is you just bleed a lot. There are no clear cut answers to heavy periods. Some women just do. They might have bigger wombs, or their wombs respond to estrogen more 'efficiently' and produce a thicker lining.

The only way to control this is either with hormonal treatment like the combined pill, or the Mirena, or Tranexamic acid each month, or an ablation.

I also feel it's wrong for some women here to use their own single experience of not finding anyone to remove a coil as 'gospel'. It's not like that everywhere.

Years back I had ongoing bleeding with a copper coil and went to a walk in family planning clinic and it as removed there and then.

Do you work for the coil manufacturers or something? The same could be said to you - you seem adamant that it can cure me and the op with the coil and that anything else is wrong.

You should respect the fact that it's something we don't want. I've based my choice on a lot of research. I know a hell of a lot of people that have had horrendous issues with the coil. It's not a miracle cure for all, and like I said in my last post, it's like marmite- some people it's a life changer which is great but others it's not.

Please also know that it's not easy to get a coil removed, I know that for a fact. I have a local friend who needs hers changing and cannot get seen.

And thank you for your medical advice - I didn't know you had such insight into my personal history. Heavy bleeding isn't normal for me, I have had previous issues and having now had a scan there is something more sinister going on that finally they are looking at. I hope to god you aren't a medical professional the way you have written off my issues like that.

Rubbleonthedouble1 · 07/09/2020 15:55

Ask for another GP. Ask for a referral. If they refuse ask them to put down in your notes that they are refusing a referral xx

snappycamper · 07/09/2020 15:57

[quote Blobby10]**@Bobbyandme after nearly 30 years of chronically heavy periods, low iron levels and generally feeling really rubbish for 1/3 of a month, I had a Mirena coil fitted and so wish I'd done it earlier. I didn't want to earlier for similar reasons to you, but my goodness I wish I had done!! The other things I did was switch from tampons to a mooncup and I'm certain that also made a big difference - it certainly helped with the cramps even if the flow didn't reduce.[/quote]
This is exactly my experience (although substitute reusable pads for mooncup).

I would recommend giving mirena a go

JinglingHellsBells · 07/09/2020 16:06

@OliviaBenson I'm sorry you found my comments annoying. I have tried to be factual.There is no need to be sarcastic- working for the coil company indeed!

You say the Mirena is like Marmite. Okay, so if it is, the only way to test it is to try it- what else do you suggest?

NO ONE can make a judgement on it based on reading or hearsay , or other women's experiences, one way or the other.

Unless you have a crystal ball maybe?

Where did I say it would cure you or the OP?

Can you find that in my post?

What I see is my suggestion that she should try it. And that it's mainstream treatment, and that most gynaes would want her to try to before surgery like a hysterectomy or ablation.

I have not given you medical advice.

I have explained what is standard treatment and that which you and she will encounter and which is listed on the NHS website under 'heavy periods'.

Maybe read that if you don't approve of my posting the same.

CottonSock · 07/09/2020 16:10

I have been through this identical thing over the past 2 years. Mini pill was awful. Now on combined pill it's much more manageable. My ferritin is now 28, ok but not great. It was 6. I'll probably take iron forever, never want to feel that way again.

CottonSock · 07/09/2020 16:14

It worries me you say you are taking liquid iron. That just won't cut it. You need about 420mg a day ferrous fumarate. Not some crap supplement like spatone.

CorrectileDysfunction · 07/09/2020 16:24

For those who don't want a mirena that's absolutely your choice- nobody can make you try it.

All people are saying is that it's a reasonable suggestion from the GP and if you did choose to try it, it might help your symptoms.

The GP has offered the OP a multitude of very sensible treatments and done blood tests and a scan which were all normal.

You can choose to decline suggested treatment, but you can't demand there is another option with no side effects.

The idea that you'd consider surgery (for what??), or a blood transfusion (again for what?) but not an IUD is very unusual.

Horseshoe5 · 07/09/2020 16:27

OP, l have suffered with awful period pain since 14. I had a laproscopy done and they said l had pelvic congestion syndrome. My GP advised me to take naproxen a few days before period arrives which helps with the pain. Liquid iron is a waste of time, stick with what a previous poster said and your iron levels will go up. Also l find that when l am stressed/anxious the period pain is worse. Could you try some yoga or some sort of relaxation techniques to help with your anxiety? It's awful when your GP does not realise the impact of bad periods. Co codamol is good for pain also. I hope you get it sorted with a gynaecologist.

Bluesheep8 · 07/09/2020 16:30

And if you try another GP and get a similar result, as PP have said, a private consultation is always an option.

Always?

justasking111 · 07/09/2020 16:32

@JinglingHellsBells

It is a ballache because I cannot go directly private need a referral letter from GP . *@justasking111* I'm a bit confused by your post because you said you needed a referral for a private appt yet got one anyway?

FWIW and for other women reading, there are many excellent consultants who do not need a referral letter. I contacted my gynaecologist directly via his PA and made an appt. This is now becoming the norm.

I am in Wales if that makes a difference the Spire consultants require a referral letter here.
KatherineofTarragon · 07/09/2020 16:32

"Her only solution was join the waiting list for steps to change. Or have a hormonal coil put it that can cause bleeds for six months"

@Bobbyandme Steps to Change is a mental health support service. If your GP has suggested you contact them , that would not hurt at all. I suspect your GP would have suggested this, based on your medical history , tests and conversations they have had with you this year and evaluated as a whole.

OliviaBenson · 07/09/2020 16:33

@JinglingHellsBells I think we need to agree to disagree. I find you very patronising.

I'm simply not willing to try a coil and risk another year of absolute misery. Anyway in my case if I just took the Drs advice to try a coil, they wouldn't have found what they did on the scan and it could have a very different outcome for me.

I want them to find out the cause of my heavy bleeding before just trying treatments which is what seems to be normal. it's poor practice imo, akin to just sending patients away with antibiotics when they are feeling poorly with generalised symptoms.

I refuse to be fobbed off which seems to be the norm when it comes to women's issues. This is what the op is battling against and she shouldn't be written off just because she doesn't want a coil.

elliejjtiny · 07/09/2020 16:49

I had horrendous periods, tranexamic acid helped a bit but not much. I can't have the coil, ablation or hysterectomy because of ptsd.

I found taking the maximum amount of ibuprofen all through my period helped massively and so did losing weight. Also period pants are brilliant for when you leak.

Bobbyandme · 07/09/2020 17:01

Yes I had anemia. My reserves were all gone in February. It's gone up abit. But still the lower end of normal. I still feel awful. Could well be down again because this ce had bad periods since and I'm cold, weak, tired, dizzy, headachy, sleepy,

I guess I will just have to suffer. I've tried numerous pills. Transexamic acid.

I feel terrible. My eyes are blurry. My head's squeezing. I feel like I could fall to the floor. I wanted checking over. I'm not refusing to do anything. I'm not keen on the coil and would like to be fully checked and try to figure out why I feel so terrible.

I take prescribed medications. I'm not self diagnosing anything.

I can't walk far because I will fall to the floor. That's why I can't do the school run. My body is absolutely weak and ofcourse I get worried due to this.

It's been a long year of suffering. I have missed out on alot of things. I had low vitamin D too. That needs rechecking.

I've asked her today about diabetes. Told her about my neck.

I think she could have done more for me today. I can't keep bleeding and going around in circles. Ofcourse it's not fair on my daughter but I can't function anymore it's horrible. Some nights im so weak I think I'll end up in hospital. But abit of sleep takes the edge off.

I went to the gp for help. She's told me one small option. If I spot for months on the coil I'll get sick again.

So to all the people on here telling me there's nothing wrong with me try and understand I can only put so much on here. There's alot of ins and outs to the last year. I've tried so hard to get better!

OP posts:
Afternooninthepark · 07/09/2020 17:19

I’m in a similar position to you op. I’m quite a bit older (47) I have uterine polyps and probably in peri which has made the problem a millions times worse but I’ve had heavy periods since late 20’s and have been anaemic for years,
I have tried tranexamic acid which flares my IBS, Ibuprofen helped for a while but have been told not to take it for long because it can damage the lining of your stomach.
I was suppose to have an ablation 3 years ago, the gynaecologist agreed to my request to have it under a local but on the actual day of the op (and I was all prepped etc) was told by the anaesthetist he wouldn’t do it under a local so I’ve been stuck with horrendous periods month in month out since then. My periods are so bad that last month I bleed through my leggings down to my knees!
I have always refused the offer of the mirena as I have read too many horror stories but like others have said, you never no until you try it and I have now reached the point of no return I feel I have no choice but to at least try it. I will however, insist that they can confirm it can be removed whenever I wish, I will try to give it as long as poss but as I too have horrendous anxiety I do not want anything making that worse so will need it removed if I have any adverse side effects but I really must try it as I will never no how it may or may not help. Please don’t get to the point I am where I have built my whole life around my periods for almost 20 years!!

Graphista · 07/09/2020 17:38

@correctiledysfunction are you an hcp?

Because to be honest you sound like one, and you also sound like one of the worse ones.

IUD’s are being hard sold to women with gynae issues WITHOUT Them getting a diagnosis (and therefore knowledge of possible contraindications) first.

In addition women are then having great difficulty in having them voluntarily removed if they don’t help and even if they cause other major symptoms. Imo it’s a hidden national scandal what’s happening with these!

my dr said if after 3 months I didn't like it, he could take it out. many of the women who have reported difficulties in getting it removed had also been similarly reassured BUT when it came to the crunch they were told “no appointments available with the ONE person in the gp surgery qualified to remove it for weeks/months” “just bear with it a little longer” “I’ll prescribe you x y z for the symptom you’re experiencing caused BY the coil but I won’t remove it/yet” “you have to keep it in x length of time” etc etc

@TweeBree - only 2 out of over 100 women I know who’ve had the coil HAVEN’T Had major problems with it. I strongly believe the problems aren’t being reported. These are women all over the Uk, different socio-economic backgrounds etc

Secondly - no there is no 1 cure for endo but the first step to possibly getting a treatment that works is again diagnosis - which can only be achieved with a gynae referral and suitable tests. There ARE treatments both medical and surgical that can and do help a lot.

I have endo myself and have had numerous treatments, some have had no effect, some made things worse and some helped a lot. There are CERTAINLY painkillers more effective than the ones you mentioned (at this point I sincerely hope you’re not an hcp - Wow! Your post at 1454 suggests you are and yet you seem woefully ill informed on something as basic as painkillers!)

Yet so many hcps are ridiculously fatalist about this condition and treat us as if we just have to put up with it and stop complaining!

The one point I do agree with you on is that far too many gps have EXACTLY the same useless approach!

The reason for reluctance to refer to specialists is financial and relates to how gp surgeries are funded. And before a gp comes on and tries to tell me that’s not true - save it! I know the financing is more “nuanced” than that but that’s the bottom line.

Yes you should change gp op, but before you do get “recommendations” from other women you trust and have similar health issues.

Sadly far too few gps are genuinely understanding and supportive even once you have a diagnosis.

I’m lucky at the moment to have a relatively good gp who accepts the diagnosis, accepts what I’ve told her about the treatments that have and haven’t worked for me and works with me to manage it, currently using noriday and tramadol.

Op you deserve and need a referral to gynae, a diagnosis and effective treatment and I wish you great luck in achieving that - it is not easy and you have to be the “squeaky wheel” not least because of the widespread misogyny in Medicine and especially when a woman DARES to experience any kind of even minor mental health aspect to their conditions.

Part of the reason I am on the treatment I am is because me and my then mh hcp noticed I was MUCH worse mh wise pre menstrually.

Given all we know about pregnancy related mental health it utterly baffles me that it is STILL not acknowledged or accepted that it totally makes sense that these set of hormones might mess with our mh at other times!

@bluetonic41 - op hasn’t had her referral, gp said they’d do it then has apparently “forgotten” something I had happen to me several times - it’s appalling behaviour. Also MANY women are reporting horrific issues with hcps and especially gp practices REFUSING to remove coils once placed, there’s numerous threads on here about that, plus there’s been a lot of news articles though it hasn’t made “headlines”. Again myself and others strongly feel the reasons are financial. There are incentives for gps to get women to accept the coil, incentives which are impacted if the woman wants it removed “too soon” and even women who’ve wanted it removed because they want to ttc or are having MAJOR health issues with it have had horrendous experiences. In THEORY it can be removed quickly and easily in practice it’s not happening.

@jinglinghellsbells tagging you re removal issues with coil too, and I too find your posts patronising and dismissive

Seriously - look for threads on here or even google “refusal to remove coil” and you’ll find many stories from women who’ve had absolutely disgraceful treatment on this.

When I was discussing contraceptive options with dd when she was in her first serious relationship I began to mention my discomfort with the coil and I’d barely said anything before she came out and said it was a well known local issue that gp surgeries here pushing it hard, including on young sexually inexperienced girls for whom it’s NOT recommended, but that there are major difficulties getting those same gps to remove them.

Took me 14 years to get a diagnosis and even then it happened by “accident” during the surgery for my 2nd mc. I lost 3 babies and also had ovarian torsion and various other issues, tons of time off school and work sick, that could well have been prevented had the first gp to whom I reported CLASSIC endo symptoms had done the RIGHT thing instead of the easy, cheap thing and instead of prescribing the pill (which helped initially) which merely masked the issue, referred me to gynae to get a proper diagnosis and treatment.

And that was over 30 years ago and women and girls are STILL getting fobbed off and dismissed.

Makes me so angry.

Re the neck stuff op - check as everywhere is different but here we can self refer for physio.

Personally I think we should be able to self refer for everything.

Gps have their place but there are certain things that they simply don’t have the expertise or the authority to deal with and they need to accept that and stop preventing patients from accessing the help they need.

I totally understand your reluctance re the coil and I agree if the hormones made you worse orally then there’s definitely a chance via the coil could also be problematic.

Here’s an interesting thing NONE of the gynaes I’ve been under have been particularly keen for me to use the coil BECAUSE of the endo, I have scar tissue in my womb and one Fallopian tube anyway that’s caused me problems and their concern is the coil might be affected by that or create more scar tissue, which can happen even in healthy patients.

That to me means in my personal opinion all women considering the coil should be checked first for scarring etc

@justasking111 so sorry your Dil is going through that, unfortunately not surprised.

That your problems started from having your child 2 years ago suggests it’s possibly not endo, but also possibly related to the birth? I’m actually quite shocked that possibility hasn’t been investigated! It could be an infection or minor injury that’s been missed. Was it a vaginal or section? If vaginal was it assisted? You don’t have to answer just things to consider.

@emmathedilemma - the pill/coil when a woman has gynae issues doesn’t really treat the cause just the symptoms and for most gynae issues it’s rarely a permanent fix

@vampirebill - pps could post of their experience with the coil being positive WITHOUT being dismissive of ops understandable reluctance

but decided that the doctors had read more than me and had even done study and exams and worked for 30 years so probably knew more than me gp’s receive very little training on gynae issues unless they actively seek it out, I believe (willing to be corrected) that it was even removed as a compulsory part of gp training

GPs get slapped financially for over referring exactly! Which is a disgrace!

This thread is pretty much full of people inc apparently hcps who are equally if not more dismissive and patently unhelpful to patients like the op.

It’s unacceptable, impractical and long term it costs the nhs and the country as a whole MORE to NOT diagnose and treat patients properly.

I missed almost 2 years of work in total, think about how much that cost? Plus the numerous gp appointments, a&e admissions, pointless ultrasounds, even the loads of pregnancy tests even though I was TELLING The relevant hcps I hadn’t been sexually active for over a year on some admissions!

The vast majority of this could have been avoided/prevented if I’d been referred, diagnoses and treated properly when I first presented with the obvious symptoms of endo, certainly it was obvious it was a gynae issue.

QuestionableMouse · 07/09/2020 17:53

@CottonSock

It worries me you say you are taking liquid iron. That just won't cut it. You need about 420mg a day ferrous fumarate. Not some crap supplement like spatone.
You can get liquid iron on prescription. I have it because I can't tolerate iron tablets in any form.

www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/dietry/a7611/sytron-sodium-feredetate/

KatherineofTarragon · 07/09/2020 18:04

@Bobbyandme OP, no one is saying there is nothing wrong with you. However based on this post and your GP,s suggestion of support from Step for your anxiety, referring yourself to Step will not hurt. Your doctor has recommended Step as an option but you are focusing solely on coil and hormonal/other causes.

Mental health support is an option on the table and you have nothing to lose by referring yourself to Step. Rule MH issues out if anything and then go back to Gp with anxiety as a cause of your symptoms totally ruled out and eliminated.

Op, i am fairly sure you have posted daily over the summer. Your levels of anxiety regarding Covid, sch rules, effect of lockdown , issues at home etc are becoming an issue for you. You have been offered much advice here and your GP's suggestion of MH support with regards to your ongoing issue, is also a good one. Your initial post details your family asked yesterday for you to see your GP, they are worried for you.

It is difficult for contributors to respond informatively to a post, when only half the facts are being provided. There has been some division and confrontation on this thread, that could have been avoided . It has been a feature in very similar threads also.

Op, if your GP has referred you to Step , they must feel, professionally, that it will help you.

Op, i mean this with great respect and sincerity, if you word your threads , in favour of a response you want to hear, it will always ultimately detract and fail to cure your issues and divide posters. Posters cannot respond fully when they only have half the facts.

Your GP knows you best and their advice should be taken. If you are unhappy with your GP's responses this year , then a second opinion should be taken.

1Morewineplease · 07/09/2020 18:10

[quote KatherineofTarragon]@Bobbyandme OP, no one is saying there is nothing wrong with you. However based on this post and your GP,s suggestion of support from Step for your anxiety, referring yourself to Step will not hurt. Your doctor has recommended Step as an option but you are focusing solely on coil and hormonal/other causes.

Mental health support is an option on the table and you have nothing to lose by referring yourself to Step. Rule MH issues out if anything and then go back to Gp with anxiety as a cause of your symptoms totally ruled out and eliminated.

Op, i am fairly sure you have posted daily over the summer. Your levels of anxiety regarding Covid, sch rules, effect of lockdown , issues at home etc are becoming an issue for you. You have been offered much advice here and your GP's suggestion of MH support with regards to your ongoing issue, is also a good one. Your initial post details your family asked yesterday for you to see your GP, they are worried for you.

It is difficult for contributors to respond informatively to a post, when only half the facts are being provided. There has been some division and confrontation on this thread, that could have been avoided . It has been a feature in very similar threads also.

Op, if your GP has referred you to Step , they must feel, professionally, that it will help you.

Op, i mean this with great respect and sincerity, if you word your threads , in favour of a response you want to hear, it will always ultimately detract and fail to cure your issues and divide posters. Posters cannot respond fully when they only have half the facts.

Your GP knows you best and their advice should be taken. If you are unhappy with your GP's responses this year , then a second opinion should be taken.

[/quote]
This.