To co-sleep with my baby?

[goldensangria]

He’s five months old and I have never co-slept at night. We will have naps together in the morning though in my bed but it won’t be for long.

Anyway it’s now nearly 5am and I haven’t slept at all, not even 10 minutes! He’s been quite grumpy today and tonight just can’t seem to sleep. He’s laying on me at the moment and sort of drifting off but then he’ll wake up again.

Now that he’s five months is it safer to co-sleep? I don’t want to move him now!

YANBU at all, so long as you do it safely. Guidance here if you need it.

I hated co sleeping, but did it the odd time in exactly this circumstance.

Hope you have an easy day ahead

are you breast feeding or bottle feeding? Apparently breast feeding mothers don’t sleep as deeply so easier to co sleep? Not sure if it’s just another tool to beat FF mothers with (I FF!) or not?

Check out the lullaby trust for advice on how to do it safely.

I have snoozed with my boy a few times but not often. Remove all pillows apart from one I use. Remove blanket so it’s only covering you and then hanging off bed if you like. Lay in a C shape with baby in the middle of the C on your side.

Presumably you have tried all the usual, white noise? Dummy? Patting and shushing??!

I feel your pain we’ve had a rough few nights with my 5 month old. Tonight I’ve have white noise on all night and he’s much better. Although the noise is driving me mad!

At 5 months he is still at high risk of SIDS - but this is relative. The overall SIDS risk is still very low, as it always is. The risk will be present until his first birthday.

My advice is to have a look at some statistics on the subject and then make your own risk assessment. After mine was 6 months I pretty much stopped worrying about it. Other mothers may have made a different choice to me. You have to make the choice that is best for you and your family, like many parenting decisions.

For me it mostly came down to weighing up how tired I was VS how high the risk of SIDS was - I think with a young baby you can get to a level of tiredness where you're not able to parent safely because you might fall asleep while driving, sitting on the sofa, not react to risks quick enough because your brain isn't working properly etc. But only you know what you're comfortable with.

I co-slept with my kids, but there are strict guidelines about the set-up. Co-sleeping is fine, if you set it up right. Most of the problems are people falling asleep from exhaustion on the sofa or people who have been drinking or taking drugs.

I co-slept from birth to 9 months (EBF and made the bed completely safe with no duvets or pillows). I didn’t drink whilst doing it and don’t smoke. DH sleeps in a different room.
If I hadn’t coslept I wouldn’t have slept at all. DD transitioned easily to a cot at 9 months.
Do what you need to do.

We’re co sleeping right now.. or at least DC is sleeping and well, I’m on here 😂.

I prefer it but DP hates it for the risk of sids.

I sleep with Pjs and just the duvet cover so DC can’t overheat if I pull quilt over. I’ll be honest though, James McKenna (I think) did a study on the physiology of both baby and mother when co sleeping and (amongst other things) they both slept longer and lighter, also finding it easier to wake up. I feel safe and well rested when we cosleep. Worth a read to put you mind at ease if you’re worried.

www.naturalchild.org/articles/james_mckenna/babies_need.html

Here ^^ lots of articles.

We co-sleep, and have done since my LO was 3 months. We’ve found it to be brilliant- a good way to get more sleep, be closer, manage tricky periods like teething etc easier. However, I breastfeed and am very careful about the setup. You need to do your own research and make your own assessment of the risk as PPs have said.

We started cosleeping at that age purely out of desperation (I did it fully safely though). Prior to that I was pretty judgy about it - people being irresponsible, etc.
Hands down the best thing I have ever done parenting wise. I had really bad postnatal depression (literally didn't want anything to do with him) and I honestly think cosleeping was the best thing I could do for our connection.
Safely cosleeping > dangerously tired separate sleep.

Co-slept from birth - 3yrs with mine. We all got plenty of sleep! Bedroom transition was no big deal either.

Did it out of desperation with DD, when she was a few weeks old and would not sleep in her Moses basket for more than 15 mins. It saved my sanity and was the best decision I’d made. Obviously followed all the guidelines for making it as safe as possible. Did it from day one with DS. Both were full term and good weights, I was breastfeeding and didn’t drink in that time. When you look at the SIDS stats - about half of deaths occur in babies that were in cots or similar, and half are counted as co-sleeping deaths BUT of the cosleeping ones, 90% of them were counted as unsafe including sleeping on sofas, mother’s drinking or taking drugs, use of blankets etc. It’s absolutely not for everyone but it was a complete game changer for me.

I bedshared with my first and now doing the same with my second at 5 months. I'd say I sleep pretty well and I think baby does too!

Definitely set it up safely, but I think you'll get better quality sleep.

From 4 months the risks of co-sleeping drop so that it is equal to or safer than cot sleeping as long as you are following guidance

No alcohol/drowsy medication
No smokers in the bed
No swaddling (sleeping bags which allow movement of arms/legs OK)
Not too much bedding - overheating related
C position around baby
Some protection from falls and becoming wedged in gaps
Adult bedding away from baby's face

Oh and always in a bed with a firm mattress, no sofas/chairs/airbeds.

I expect I'll be shouted down and lots of people will say "I did and it was fine" but when I was at university, I did a module of Forensic Medicine, and we had a guest lecturer from the Coroner's office. He was vehemently against co-sleeping, the number of infant deaths where the baby was sleeping with an adult were a huge % of the overall figure.
No matter how tired you are, it's not worth the risk.

@PomBearWithoutHerOFRS that must be very out of date data. I have access to the current and there are almost 0 deaths where safe cosleeping guidance is followed. Almost all involve unsafe surfaces, bedding, smokers, formula feeding and drink/drugs. The death data overwhelmingly involves sleeping on sofas.

Bed shared from birth.

Now 2 years down the line.

Just follow the save 7.

Imagine being so tired you roll on your kid. All it takes is a few minutes. I would never do this co sleeping. No matter how tired.

Lullaby trust and unicef have both changed their guidance to say co-sleeping in a bed is fine if the safe guidelines are followed. So those thinking it is unsafe - the risk of SIDS is associated with co-sleeping on sofas/water beds/after drinking etc not in a bed. Still up to you to make your own decision but the medical experts have changed their position on this.

Loads of info here

https://www.basisonline.org.uk/sleepbabyyou/?fbclid=IwAR0KuD82zJg-6EFnYakCTpHZrc00_62pX8dexvCv1ZHtn1C5z1qDVGNpEm0

I co-slept with my first child from 4 months old until he was 9 months old.

I co-slept with my second baby from 5 weeks of age until he was about 18 months.

Yes there are risks, there are risks with everything - but follow the Lullaby’s Trust guidelines to make it as safe as possible.

I loved co-sleeping and breast feeding in combination. My daughter fed about every 2-3 hours until 18 mth so felt like the only way. However it meant my hband couldn't then settle her until I stopped, as baby so used to me.

Op Co sleeper with no 2 is what kept me sane.
They have been Co sleeper in the womb. Its natural for them.
Buy Co sleeper cot and enjoy sleep.

I've co-slept from birth till 9 months. Like others have said, if you follow safe sleep guidelines (and most often common sense) it should be fine. Many countries around the world co-sleep from birth.