To take toddler to doctors for night terrors

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I’m on my last nerve before I have a breakdown over this I think. My little girl is 3 in November, for months and months she’s been hard work at bed time and once she’s asleep she will always wake up around 3am crying and wanting to come into my bed. Since Monday I’ve had a really good routine for her sleeping 7.30-.7.30 (aside from the waking up at 3/4am, once she’s in my bed she’ll go straight back to sleep and stay asleep). The last few days however she’s been absolutely terrified of her own bedroom and will not go to bed in there under any circumstances. This has resulted in her staying awake until 9pm even though she’s been up since 7am with no naps. Eventually she crashes on the sofa and I’ll put her to bed asleep but she wakes up within a few hours screaming saying she’s scared. She’s just got up again crying and refusing to go into her room. I don’t even know what to do anymore, my husband and I are barely sleeping because of this

is she having actual night terrors? Or is she waking up afraid at night?

If she is having night terrors, I.e. she is actually sleepwalking to you while in deep sleep, screaming, crying, etc but not awake at all. Then you can try the dr but they will tell you to try slightly waking her before she normally starts a terror, and/or keeping her room a bit cooler. And waiting it out. They outgrow them. Not much else can be done.

Or is she waking up at night, and getting scared of her room?

Just asking because a night terror is a very specific thing and if its a different problem, my advice will be different (source: my ds has night terrors/ sleepwalking issues)

I agree with the previous poster. It does not sound like night terrors. Sound like she may have nightmares or something in her room scares her.

Can you get her to elaborate during the day?

This doesn’t sound like night terrors. Night terrors for us have been almost screaming and utterly terrified but she’s asleep so it doesn’t make sense and won’t remember waking at all, even the bit after she calmed down and chatted normally.

We also got the scared of her room bedtimes and wakings, sometimes after a nightmare. But these are definitely awake and quite different to night terrors. The latter we still experience age 10 but she has SEN which may be a factor. I mentioned night terrors to her psychiatrist and he reassured us they aren’t harmful at all so didn’t investigate further. I doubt you will get anywhere with the GP. The being scared is normal to an extent. We didn’t evolve to sleep in separate rooms, we slept together for safety. We are just waiting until she’s older and grows out of it. It’s really frustrating and exhausting. You could ask the HV team for advice initially.

@ShastaBeast @Torvean32 @rvby thanks for your replies, since posting this I did a little research and I agree, she wakes up straight away screaming and running to my room so it can’t be night terrors. She really is terrified though. During the day and particularly just before bed time she tells me the monsters are coming out and there’s an orange one. As an adult it all sounds ridiculous as obviously we all know monsters aren’t reall but she’s genuinely very scared. She’s in her room now watching her tablet with the light on as she won’t be in there in the dark and even now it’s taken me a while to convince her it’s ok to sit in there. she isn’t usually allowed her tablet past 5pm but the whole house is waking up now from her crying

I’ve even been googling paranormal disturbances in children And put a camera in her room to watch what actually goes on but it literally only shows her crying in her sleep for a few seconds then getting up and running

Try a night light op. Or leaving a hallway light on with her door open a bit. So that when she wakes it isn't pitch black

What kind of thing is she watching on her tablet or the telly? Even the seemingly innocent might have different associations to her.
Anything casting a shadow on the wall?
Can you move her bed around?
Monster spray?

@SleepingStandingUp @Pearsapiece Well she seems to be sitting in there ok with the light on but she’s wide awake now as she’s been disturbed and had her tablet back. I’ll try again tomorrow and put her night light on.
She just watches YouTube videos of other kids playing with toys, baby shark, cloud babies etc. I haven’t seen anything scary really apart from iggle piggle which I stopped her watching. She watches a lot of role play (like little girls looking after dolly’s and cooking etc) so I’m not sure 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sounds like it could be hypnogogic hallucinations.
One of my earliest memories include them.
I was utterly convinced that they were real.
I have them now occasionally.
They are genuinely scary.
Was she definitely asleep when she started crying, or was it on waking?

I think it’s probably all down to stress and disruption as she’s suddenly been forced into going to bed at 7pm whereas all during lockdown she’s been up to 11pm on some nights plus she’s started back at nursery this week

That does tie in with the hypnogogic hallucinations.
I know I tend to get them when I'm stressed.

@ElizabethMainwaring that’s interesting I will have a google. I’m not sure if she’s asleep or if she’s awake but not moved yet but I just hear her whinge a little bit then 5 minutes later she suddenly runs in screaming. The camera footage shows her laying down and crying for a couple of seconds then she gets up

We’ve tried all sorts over the years. Friday night DH was reading to her until midnight. She takes melatonin as she’s a bad sleeper, this helps but not always. She shares with our youngest so not alone. Our youngest has developed the same behaviour but less often, I’m convinced it’s contagious like anxiety.

It’s definitely worse the days they are on screens and don’t get out. We’ve tried bribery, money or points for going to bed nicely and not waking us up. We did the spray thing. We keep lights on and door open. Sometimes give up and DH has slept on the sofa with her on the other sofa. It’s endless and nothing has worked. Not even rational explanations about there being no monsters - only people and animals and the U.K. has no scary animals except in zoos. I remember being scared as a kid but I was more scared of my parents so kept it to myself. Only growing out of it will work long term.

Have you the ipad child settings on for You tube?
Have you sat and watched youtube with her? Some of the ads that appear between videos are not at all age appropriate and perhaps this is what happened? We disabled you tube on all devices our children have access due to the ads for inappropriate content and because it's brain rot - but that's just my opinion.

@almondfinger completely agree with you but we don’t have ads on ours.

@ShastaBeast I think I will be giving up shortly and taking her downstairs. Trouble is I’ve also got a newborn

I’ve got myself wound up now reading articles about ghost disturbances and children

Well the blue underlight on the tablet will not be helping so take that away. At the moment she thinks if she wakes up she gets her tablet so of course she won't go back to sleep. Also, 11pm?!!!!! And suddenly back to 7pm?! Of course she's going to be out of sorts. As always, the drip feed has actually explained the problem.

Don't get yourself in a state op!
It's nothing paranormal.
It's just nightmares and hallucinations.
It's not that abnormal.
As you are so concerned and your little girl is so disturbed, I wouldn't hesitate going to the doctor's. There may be a supplement you could try or they may have some really good advice.
It can't hurt, can it?
Hope you get a bit of sleep tonight and a good day tomorrow

We had the same issue with our DGD, so they bought her a dream catcher and made a lavender spray that they put in a vapour bottle and called it “the bad dream eater”. So now she goes to bed, checks her dream catcher and then uses the spray, and they rarely have any issues now.
For what it’s worth it is said that children with high intelligence are the ones most likely to suffer nightmares

Read up about how to respond to children about monsters. These are regular childhood fears. Not paranormal disturbances! Help her by e.g. looking under the bed and saying no monsters - read up on how to do this.

Also - if she sleeps in your room, to me this presents an obvious answer?

I would start by assuming it is the most simple thing and that is normal childhood fear and nightmares.

The ghost stuff is total nonsense. She's just a regular kid having dreams and bedtime fears.

Plus the newborn, return to nursery, change of bedtime routine.

If you have a newborn then I'd just be doing whatever it takes to get you through at the moment. At this age my daughter sometimes slept on a toddler mattress next to my bed. I was working full time and I just really needed to sleep. Maybe try this to break the cycle then readdress sleep in a month or so when you're new in the newborn fog?

@Pearsapiece as I said in my original post she always has the tablet taken away by 5pm latest, and she usually only has it for a couple of hours a day anyway.

@ElizabethMainwaring thank you, I needed that little pep talk haha. I have been sat here watching her room on the camera and convincing myself there’s bloody orbs flying around. Sleep deprivation really does get to you I guess

@Colouringaddict thanks for this, I actually have a dream catcher that I haven’t put up yet, I’ll order a spray bottle and some lavender oil now and try it x

An overactive imagination runs in the family!