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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To work in the same place as my daughter.

84 replies

Seeleyboo · 04/09/2020 13:14

I may be working in the same place as my daughter. Same dept and possibly the same office. I feel awful as I know she doesn't feel comfortable with this even though she has stated she's ok. This is more of a WWUD. Should I turn the job down or would you accept it.

OP posts:
JamSarnie · 04/09/2020 16:57

Take the job.

We have lots of family members at work and it's fine.

Just tell your DD that work is work and reassure her that you are not her parent at work and make sure you follow that through.

simonisnotme · 04/09/2020 16:58

i work at the same school as my DD, read with her class kids and helped with a club after school. she did tell me not to accept a job offer but i did anyway Grin im now in eyfs and shes yr3 , no problems at all
why turn it down if you need a job thats just stupid

Coffeecak3 · 04/09/2020 17:00

It's ridiculous to turn down a job because your dd works there.
Just accept the job and see how things pan out.

Legallyblondeee · 04/09/2020 17:05

I work with my mum! At first I thought oh fuck! Turns out my mums pretty cool who’d of thought it!

VividImagination · 04/09/2020 17:18

Take the job for now. Once you get started one of you could always look out for a transfer to a different department or, it might actually work out fine for both of you. You can always apply for other jobs if it doesn’t.

HoratiotheHorsefly · 04/09/2020 17:29

@Seeleyboo

For those asking why I applied for the job. The industry is huge and we had both agreed I should apply as the chances of working together was minimal. They were requesting 80 new starters. It's only now I am told what department I will be in. And it's the same department, floor and office. Huge open plan and probably no where near her. Yes I do need a job as I have 2 small children still at home.
After reading this I now know I said the right thing in saying take the job.

Would your dd really prefer her privacy in the workplace over her siblings having an employed mother putting food on the table for them? Or would she rather you have to claim universal credit?

Take the job and if she complains then I'd be telling her to pipe down and grow up. Life is rubbish at times and accepting that is a part of growing up into a well rounded adult.

Blurp · 04/09/2020 17:30

I used to work with my mum (in a shop). I was late teens at the time. It never occurred to me that there would be an issue, and there wasn't.

TenDays · 04/09/2020 17:32

Take the job. You need to work and it might be a stepping stone to a better position so you won't be there forever.

Or your DD might get promotion or switch departments or go for a better job - anything is possible.

Your DD will have to get used to the idea. You're not the worst person she could be working with.

It's not as if she's having to train up the woman who ran off with her boyfriend or someone whose car she ran into!

TheEC · 04/09/2020 17:34

I’m my office of 40 we had 3 sets of mum and daughter, 2 being on the same team working alongside each other. They younger ones still very much act like the younger ones and the mums roll their eyes and have a laugh too. I work in a chilled out office where everyone gets on.

Tappering · 04/09/2020 17:51

I worked in the same shop as my Mum when I was in my late teens. She worked in a different section to me, and we pretty much avoided each other. She didn't speak to me unless there was a work reason to do so, and vice versa. Worked out fine - didn't cause any issues with colleagues because they could see we behaved professionally.

I'd take the job and keep looking for new work. Your daughter is an adult and should be able to cope with the fact she has a relative working there!

Myyearmytime · 04/09/2020 17:54

Take the job ..
Job are hard to find .
You have kids to surport

Wakemeupwhenthisisover · 04/09/2020 18:01

I’d take the Kobe until you can find something else, who knows what’s going to happen to the economy

Wakemeupwhenthisisover · 04/09/2020 18:02

Just saw you have two small children! For goodness sake take the job.

wildcherries · 04/09/2020 18:04

@HoratiotheHorsefly

Sorry but I don't think you should turn it down.

Your daughter is an adult and you're being made redundant. She should understand that right now jobs are few and far between and you need employment.

I agree with this also. You have bills to pay.
Confrontayshunme · 04/09/2020 18:08

YANBU in the slightest. Get a job now as many are predicting a lot of unemployment in October due to the end of furlough. be professional with her like you would anyone else.

Pepperwort · 04/09/2020 18:26

I've known several people who work in the same place as their children. In some places it's almost a requirement that to get a job you have parents in at least the same profession, preferably the same institution. I don't therefore get the angst. You will however both be best served by drawing a very clear work / home life division.

Advicewouldbeappreciated · 04/09/2020 18:27

I would also turn it down. There are other jobs.

kyles101 · 04/09/2020 18:29

This is crazy, take the job. I was my sister's manager for years - work was work and outside of that we were sisters. It's not difficult. If you need work take it, I'm genuinely baffled at the number of turn down the job responses!!

DazedandConcerned · 04/09/2020 18:31

Take the job.

My mum and I worked together. 10 years with her as my boss and 2 with me as hers. Worked out fine.

Jobs are as rare as hen's teeth these days with covid. It will be fine.

PablosHoney · 04/09/2020 18:33

I worked with my mum when I was 17 and she used to tell me off in front of people 😱😂

MitziK · 04/09/2020 18:38

I've worked with DP in various situations. We effectively disowned one another from just outside the door until we were outside the workplace. Still spoke lots as it was needed for the work, but it was just completely work related.

Take the job. You need it.

Graffitiqueen · 04/09/2020 18:40

Take the job. Your daughter will cope.

Namechangr9000 · 04/09/2020 18:42

I cant believe the amount of people saying dont do it when the news consists mainly of how many people are being made redundant daily, not how many new job opportunities there are. (Even Amazon's creation of 3k new jobs wont touch the amount of unemployment)
FWIW I work with my DH. A few customers have known us for years and only just realised we were married.

CheesyMother · 04/09/2020 18:44

You should definitely take the job!

That said, does the company know you are related? If they’re having 80 new starters there may well be some scope for them to put you in a different department as presumably not all 80 are joining the same department/floor as your daughter (and if they all are then you will easily be able to avoid each other at work anyway!).

5plus3 · 04/09/2020 18:46

When my mother was made redundant a few years back, I got her a job in my office. She sat on the same 'pod' as me. It was fine. We were all early 20s, friends who socialised together and she took the 'mother' role of the room. Bringing everyone snacks. Bless her

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