We all love a good annoying neighbour thread

[WholePlaceIsPickled]

Have NC but member for a few years.

My neighbours are driving me pissing potty.

I live next door to Jackie who is mid 80s, she also lives with Anne and Liz her daughters (early 60s). Jackies son Kev (mid 60s) visits almost everyday, and is actually an arse all of this aside. We’d heard not nice things about him before we moved in as he knows my MIL. Kevs daughter, Amy (mid 20s) also visits daily.

For context we had a run in with these neighbours a few years ago, they have their TV on so loud all day and until the late hours (12am ish), they shout all the time and quite honestly it’s draining living next door to them. I asked Jackie nicely if of a weekday they could turn the TV down at a reasonable time, around 10ish as I can hear it in my bedroom when I’m trying to sleep. It seemed to be a nice conversation but as I said, they shout, so I heard them all (mainly Kev and Amy) saying some pretty nasty things about me through the wall and threats made to come round. Never did though. I stopped trying to communicate then for an easy life but it got to the point of being unbearable when I had to go to work so I went round again, politely asked if it could be turned down to which they agreed, apologised and then completely ignored. They claim one of the household is practically deaf so it needs to be loud, but then it’s so loud to hear each other they have to shout... all day, everyday.

I’ve had a baby not long ago and countless times they’ve woke the baby up, nap time, bedtime etc. When one of them goes to bed they all go upstairs and shout in the room that attaches to ours, baby is in the room next door and they wake him up 9/10 nights around 11 o’clock.

Amy visits every single day. She brings her dog who sits and the fence growling at my dogs, who are normally very friendly with other dogs, but obviously do not like this dog so they ‘attack’ the fence and rip holes in it. We’ve had to fix it twice as they don’t call their dog away and sometimes we are preoccupied with the baby so can’t call ours away immediately. We paid for all the new fence panels this side anyway as when we moved in they were crap and once they’d got their dog they were quite happy to leave it so she could basically come in our garden. They say things in a baby voice like ‘no growling X only barking, you’re a dog you’re allowed to bark but just no growling’ - obviously the dog completely ignores this.

They feed the pigeons four times a day meaning I have to deal with pigeon shit and noise all the time. They sit on my roof only and kick crap off the roof into my garden. I haven’t even bothered talking to them about this, even though I know they put so much bread out they’ve got rats as I was outside one night when I heard them talking to someone about it and how they couldn’t put pellets down because of the animals they’ve got (cat, rabbit etc).

Kev ran into my MIL once and told her we were behaving threateningly towards his poor mum as we knocked the wall at 11pm one night after everything as we couldn’t sleep with the
TV on so loud. My MIL rightly just said it wasn’t her problem and to talk to us, but they never do! Kev also shouts at his mum about her dementia saying things like ‘you’re not my mum anymore’ etc and storms off. He’s a horrible shithead.

AIBU to just hate all of them, except Jackie, who has mild dementia, is actually really nice but just a bit of a softie with her annoying adult kids and believes everything they say to be gospel.

They sound like a nightmare but you're not exactly innocent in all of this either. I'd fine it very rude if a neighbour came around to tell me what s an acceptable volume in my own home at 10pm (it's not late - if it was 3am I'd understand) and would be inclined to turn the TV up louder if they started knocking on the walls late at night. As for your dogs attacking your fence, that's the fault of your dogs, not Amy's dog.

Are you bloody joking CitizenFame?

The dog part sounds like it's both your responsibilities. And the frequency of their visits isn't really any of your business. The rest is annoying but not much you can do other than trying to stay out of their way.

God I feel for you. When my neighbours are noisy I put my tv on low for background noise and play white noise in the kids rooms. Luckily it's not all the time.

@CitizenFame Thanks for the reply.

I completely agree it is my dogs fault for doing the actual damage - hence we’ve fixed it, but they’re not doing anything to help rectify the situation - calling a dog away, my dogs can’t be left outside on nice days, have to be supervised in the garden all the time for a dog that doesn’t even live there, so it’s not nice for them and not nice for us on summers days to leave the dogs in the house and listen to their dog growling the whole time.

I didn’t go round and tell them either, I asked nicely if it was possible if they could turn it down around 10pm to a lower level on a weekday as I have to get up at 5 for work. I had to knock the wall, the alternative was to go round at 11 o’clock of an evening and ask again. If I didn’t knock it would of gone on until at least 12am, as it does most nights. I tried to ignore it for a few years when we first moved here but since starting work early, my partner having a year of health problems, a hyperemesis pregnancy and a newborn and nothing changing I’m at a loss really. I think it’s really inconsiderate personally.

They can’t turn it up btw, it’s full volume without a doubt, I can hear the 10 o’clock news every night from my back bedroom, and their tv is in the from room!

@GreenestValley thank you, yes I agree re the dogs. I do try to take accountability for mine, tell them off and put them inside etc. But it just doesn’t seem fair that it’s always mine getting in trouble and missing out on garden time because I can’t constantly stand in front of the fence and block two dogs while holding a baby. Even then I can’t enjoy the garden cus there’s 40 pigeons cooing and shitting everywhere and a dog growling at the fence. We do try and stay out of their way. We are contemplating netting on the roof and extra insulation between the walls instead of living miserably forever, so we are trying to be proactive

Why should people get away with being anti social? 10pm or 3am, a tv at full volume would make me murderous, especially with a new baby.

I would phone the council and report noise nuisance, and the fact that they feed the pigeons which in turn attracts vermin. I'm sure the council would be interested in that!

You have a right to live peacefully OP, and they're ruining your enjoyment of your home. I would also look into installing some sort of sound proofing.

Good luck, sound like you'll need it because you can't educate stupid

@kidsdrivingmemad thanks we do use white noise for the baby but he doesn’t seem to like it anyway! I can still hear their tv over my tv which is irritating as I can’t turn mine up in case it’s me that wakes the baby 😂

By stupid I meant your neighbours, not you!!

@Carpathian2 thank you! I did contact the council but only to ask for advice on how to approach the pigeons, I didn’t want to stop them feeding the birds but you can definitely hear 30-40 pigeons on your roof at the crack of dawn and when they all fly off together it’s like a spitfire! We’re now looking at professional netting £500 and extra insulation in perfectly plastered rooms 😭.

Noisy neighbours are expensive!

There is no way any TV is on at full volume. Yes, it might be too loud but virtually no-one, unless profoundly deaf, would be able to listen to a TV on at anywhere near full volume.

Oh OP I feel awful for you. You sound defeated. Loud neighbours are just a nightmare, no other word for it really. You have done everything you can without causing an argument, you've handled it so well - and with a small baby too! I take my hat off to you; most people would have committed murder by now!
As another PP has said, log a noise complaint in with the council, and speak to them also about the vermin on their garden. Make a diary of all the noise/antisocial instances too.
For now just be the civil neighbour. Don't let them get the better of you good luck.

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite

One of them is deaf they say. If it’s not full volume, it’s very close to it. Like I say, I can hear the 10 o’clock news in my back bedroom, bed not against the shared wall, and that’s from their front room downstairs. If i was in my living room which is next to their living room, my sound bar would have to be volume 30+ to actually completely drown their tv out. I’ve tried it. Mine is normally on volume 12, which is loud enough, that we can hear it in the living room, and not in any other room.

Thank you for taking the time to reply

@JalapenoDave

Thank you, I think I’ve tried not to cause an argument because I feel sorry for Jackie. She doesn’t really deserve any of it. She is looked after there and doesn’t go out, I would hate to think I make her last few years a troublesome few. Last year we just didn’t have the energy, my partner came down sick and I was pregnant and suffering with hyperemesis. They do other annoying things too like Kev uses our drive or partially block out drive by parking in the road rather than just using their his mums drive. He leaves his work van in our road every night but he doesn’t live there, he lives a few minutes drive away with his own house and double driveway! Doesn’t like to annoy his own neighbours I assume!

Thank you for the advice

I've got no advice but man you are a better person than me dealing firstly with these neighbours and then with some of the snippy comments on here! for you....

I'd move OP , they're not going to change

Thanks @foxychox - I feel like being murderous with them sometimes believe me!

@netstaller I agree they won’t, unfortunately the house will be passed down which also means we’ll never be rid of them. They won’t move, they’ve all lived there forever and love it. It’s our perfect house other than those particular neighbours, all our others are lovely, and we do look at other houses, trouble is we don’t want to move off the road (12 houses) so we’re forever waiting for one to go up for sale. It’s a shame as we’ve done lots of work to this. We are going to install extra insulation in hopes it drowns out some sound and netting for the birds, although this won’t stop them shitting everywhere it’ll at least keep them off the roof. I will probably contact the council about the birds eventually if the netting doesn’t help.

Anti roosting spikes make it hard for pigeons to land & aren't going to cost the earth. (Amazon has them) I've also heard wind chimes help. No idea e the dog situation tho!

They sound horrible and completely unreasonable.

You could contact the council regarding the loud tv, they’ll send community safety officers over to have a word. Even if someone is deaf you can’t just ram your volume up to max, they invest in headphones if they can’t hear.

Just be careful about reporting them/involving solicitors if you want to move as you need to declare any disputes with neighbours (at least your supposed to).

Is the garden overgrown? that can be reported too, but it sounds like they just enjoy annoying you and will take no notice.

I've had great success in blocking TV noise by building a sound-insulating stud wall in front of the original party wall. 1cm air gap (so no part of the new wall is touching the party wall), then 5cm wooden studs with 5cm Rockwool sound insulation between, then acoustic plasterboard over, sealed round the edges with acoustic sealant - you can use 2 layers of plasterboard to really block it.

It was when I put the plasterboard on that the effect was most obvious, so if space is an issue I expect you could just stick acoustic plasterboard onto the party wall with acoustic sealant to achieve some improvement.

OP I sympathise greatly but whilst you may feel sorry for Jackie, ultimately you have to put your baby's quality of sleep and your own first. It seems like you've got no other option but to report them to the council if they won't take action amicably.

You don't want to move which I understand but you've got to decide now what's more important. Considerate neighbours and sleep or the house you're in and regular sleep deprivation. Only you can decide that.

Just to add, I say that as someone who used to share a wall with a jorrneodusly noisy neighbour. He used to switch on African drumming music at 1am at full volume.

In the end I moved and now have a neighbour who is quiet as a churchmouse - I hope he never leaves!

You need to put proper soundproofing in all rooms adjoining their house.
Spikes on roof etc to keep pigeons off.
Good solid fencing plus another fence or bushes a couple of feet in to keep the dogs apart.
Good cctv system to record any misdemeanours.

CitizenFame proving that people like this really do exist. Selfish and entitled.

I would move op. Detached preferably.

I would not be able to stand any of it. I would be going off my head. I do not tolerate bad neighbours well. They bring out the very worst in me.

OP MOVE.........