We all love a good annoying neighbour thread

[WholePlaceIsPickled]

Have NC but member for a few years.

My neighbours are driving me pissing potty.

I live next door to Jackie who is mid 80s, she also lives with Anne and Liz her daughters (early 60s). Jackies son Kev (mid 60s) visits almost everyday, and is actually an arse all of this aside. We’d heard not nice things about him before we moved in as he knows my MIL. Kevs daughter, Amy (mid 20s) also visits daily.

For context we had a run in with these neighbours a few years ago, they have their TV on so loud all day and until the late hours (12am ish), they shout all the time and quite honestly it’s draining living next door to them. I asked Jackie nicely if of a weekday they could turn the TV down at a reasonable time, around 10ish as I can hear it in my bedroom when I’m trying to sleep. It seemed to be a nice conversation but as I said, they shout, so I heard them all (mainly Kev and Amy) saying some pretty nasty things about me through the wall and threats made to come round. Never did though. I stopped trying to communicate then for an easy life but it got to the point of being unbearable when I had to go to work so I went round again, politely asked if it could be turned down to which they agreed, apologised and then completely ignored. They claim one of the household is practically deaf so it needs to be loud, but then it’s so loud to hear each other they have to shout... all day, everyday.

I’ve had a baby not long ago and countless times they’ve woke the baby up, nap time, bedtime etc. When one of them goes to bed they all go upstairs and shout in the room that attaches to ours, baby is in the room next door and they wake him up 9/10 nights around 11 o’clock.

Amy visits every single day. She brings her dog who sits and the fence growling at my dogs, who are normally very friendly with other dogs, but obviously do not like this dog so they ‘attack’ the fence and rip holes in it. We’ve had to fix it twice as they don’t call their dog away and sometimes we are preoccupied with the baby so can’t call ours away immediately. We paid for all the new fence panels this side anyway as when we moved in they were crap and once they’d got their dog they were quite happy to leave it so she could basically come in our garden. They say things in a baby voice like ‘no growling X only barking, you’re a dog you’re allowed to bark but just no growling’ - obviously the dog completely ignores this.

They feed the pigeons four times a day meaning I have to deal with pigeon shit and noise all the time. They sit on my roof only and kick crap off the roof into my garden. I haven’t even bothered talking to them about this, even though I know they put so much bread out they’ve got rats as I was outside one night when I heard them talking to someone about it and how they couldn’t put pellets down because of the animals they’ve got (cat, rabbit etc).

Kev ran into my MIL once and told her we were behaving threateningly towards his poor mum as we knocked the wall at 11pm one night after everything as we couldn’t sleep with the
TV on so loud. My MIL rightly just said it wasn’t her problem and to talk to us, but they never do! Kev also shouts at his mum about her dementia saying things like ‘you’re not my mum anymore’ etc and storms off. He’s a horrible shithead.

AIBU to just hate all of them, except Jackie, who has mild dementia, is actually really nice but just a bit of a softie with her annoying adult kids and believes everything they say to be gospel.

Neighbours who are not respectful of the people who live next to them are the worst. Putting on subtitles would help them to keep the volume down perhaps.

I was going to mention soundproofing.

My mums old neighbours had book cases, on all the walls of their sitting room. ( my Mum similar, and she’d removed hers too)

When they moved, the new neighbour had none, and suddenly they could all hear each other, it was awful

This is awful. I really don't know why some people feel so entitled. I understand banging on the walls; that's frustration. You've told them and they've ignored you so the only thing is to move.

Environmental Health, they will come out and record the noise levels, keep a diary of everything and get reporting!
They sound hellish.

Thank you everyone for the advice. Moving for the next two years ish isn’t going to happen I’d say, we love where we live and everything that surrounds it - apart from neighbours.

We are definitely going to be soundproofing over the next few months after reading all these comments - especially about the specific plasterboard and insulation etc. We can spare a few CM in each room to do so.

The dogs are a little more tricky to fix long term as we have already reinforced the fence and they do have bushes their side which the smallish dog can get through to the fence. We’ve tried putting things in front of it our side but one of our dogs is large and just knocks them out the way. I think she just sees red and an attack on her home - which it’s not really but I can’t seem to make her understand.

I agree with the comments about the volume , I.e subtitles and such but I can’t really suggest it to them as they’d just see it as me telling them what to do and would cause another argument and louder shouting I’m sure.

I totally get just regular neighbour noise, occasional parties or whatever but it just seems so far away from that.

RE the pigeons we have had a quote for the netting and spikes on the part of the fence they can get to and it’s £500. We can afford to do this and will be doing in the next month or two ready for next year as we’re also having all guttering redone just after as they’ve kicked all the crap into the guttering over and over so want it all done together freshly. I’m hoping that fixes the bird problem.

My last resort was the council but I will be doing a diary from now on to keep a note of things that are happening between us.

We’re due to have an extension done in the next few months and have spoke to them about it as it was suggested by our builder to come off their extension - which they’ve said no to, fair enough, it’s their wall on their property, by around 2cm. But their wall is in desperate need of TLC - repointing, the roof our side is exposed and needs weatherproofing etc. So I’m hoping they’ll get it done beforehand otherwise their won’t be enough room between the walls for them to do it.

I really do appreciate the comments and support, there are a few that have voted that IABU but don’t seem to have suggested why, so I can only take on board the comments I get

Sorry RE the pigeons should say roof netting and fence spikes - £500 would be a lot for just fence spikes haha

Another consideration is adult social services, if the homeowner has dementia is she getting help or are the family taking advantage of her, they don’t sound the caring sort.

@SBTLove

We did consider SS briefly when we heard Kev shouting at her, but luckily it’s only happened a times, and the two daughters do care for her well from what I can see, she has people pick her up for hospital visits and such.

They told my DP she had dementia because they asked if we could hear her banging around late at night, which we could. It still happens occasionally but this is something we would never consider complaining about knowing the circumstances, and yet when they told my partner they were moaning about it!

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite

There is no way any TV is on at full volume. Yes, it might be too loud but virtually no-one, unless profoundly deaf, would be able to listen to a TV on at anywhere near full volume.

Have to disagree here. My dad and stepmum can hear just fine but have got so used to having the telly turned up loud they keep making it louder. I've a modern tv so good sound and when dad visited for a week I could have cried with the constant headaches. It was at 100 and you could actually feel the Coronation Street Theme time vibrating in your body it was so loud.

When I kept turning it down dad complained and told me it wasn't even up high, I just have mine turned too low. It wouldn't bloody go any higher than 100!!!

DSis and I can't even visit them for long in case they've got the TV on.