To ask your most WTF moments

[latheritup]

We went to the zoo recently and was walking down to the tiger enclosure. We saw a man had jumped over the fence into the greenery to retrieve his glasses that 'fell off' and subsequently the tigers all came to the front of their enclosure.

I can't think why he wouldn't ask a zookeeper to safely get them or was he just trying to get the tigers closer for a better pic?! Either way my face was

I've attached a wonderful diagram. Very proud of it

I woke up one morning in my shared house to find all the kitchenware gone. No kettle, pots, pans, cutlery, plates, microwave.
I had complained to my housemate the day before that the kitchen was getting cluttered.
He came into the kitchen and said 'is that better then?'

When I lived in Europe I used to go every week to a ‘snuffel market’, a sort of indoor car boot sale with hundreds of stalls, in a huge exhibition hall. One day, coming down the aisle towards me, was a woman in a nightie lying in a hospital bed, complete with drip attached to her arm, being pushed along by another woman. A treat for a dying patient? But the nearest hospital was some distance away, and how did they get the bed to the market hall?

[quote AudTheDeepMinded]@harls69 ha, similar experience with DS by the side of the road needing a pee 'Yes, do it there by the hedge and be discrete'. I notice a few seconds later he has his BUM in the hedge and is merrily pissing out towards the passing cars. We had a bit of a chat about the meaning of 'discrete' after that.[/quote]
😂😂😂

So I’d not been going out with my girlfriend for very long and she tells me that I was in her top 3 of best shags - which basically meant I wasn’t the best shag, nor the second best shag, but the third best shag....wtf.....!!! Even more WTF.... we’ve been married for 18years😁

When found my lost toothbrush in the freezer a week later after putting it in a sainsbury's bag that went that went over the ice as I had accidentally ripped the bag .
It gave me a laugh anyway!

A lady breastfeeding her baby in a tuktuk racing through the streets of Colombo, Sri Lanka.

[quote AudTheDeepMinded]@harls69 ha, similar experience with DS by the side of the road needing a pee 'Yes, do it there by the hedge and be discrete'. I notice a few seconds later he has his BUM in the hedge and is merrily pissing out towards the passing cars. We had a bit of a chat about the meaning of 'discrete' after that.[/quote]
Or even the meaning of "discreet" ...

I was sitting with my Mum having a cup of tea and a scone in the upstairs cafe in Debenhams when a poodle floated past the windows. It was a windy day and someone had lost their life-sized dog balloon. It was quite surreal watching it floating away over the rooftops.

Ormally - Something wrong with the kitchen sink … washing up bowl in the cupboard beneath to catch water. Relative ... picked it up and emptied it down the sink

I've done that! And I was actually in the middle of fixing the sink myself, and had taken the U-bend off. It's just so instinctive to empty water down the sink …..

Got on the bus when DS was still a baby in a pram and a couple with a pram got on at the next stop. Because there were two prams on the bus the driver told her she would have to collapse hers and hold her baby because there wasn’t room. She did so, and sat down next to me with her partner across the aisle. Her baby was a baby doll. She chatted away to me about her baby not sleeping and having a cold, even referring to her partner and handing the baby doll over saying “she’s fussy, love, can you hold her for a bit?”

I felt incredibly ‘WTF’ but I chatted to her all the way to town because she just wanted to talk about babies. That was 10/11 years ago and I still think of them.

I think that's one of the best diagram I've seen

on a quiet motorway one Sunday evening, drove past a guy on a bike pedalling down the hard shoulder, nothing I could do just hoped he got off at the next exit

@DillonPanthersTexas

Mia1415

Overheard something similar on a eurostar train when two women were discussing the journey.

"will we get to see any fish"

"I don't know, we will probably scare them off when we enter the sea, we are going quite fast"

"It's night time anyway so we probably won't see anything even if they were out there"

Took me a moment to wonder what the hell they were talking about before I realised they though the train just ran along the sea bed.

I worked for Eurostar years ago, when it was based out of Waterloo. An American passenger asked me about this: "will we see the sharks when we're in the tunnel?" I think he thought the tunnel was made of glass like in an aquarium.

Another time, someone asked me if it was safe to drink the tea they sold in the buffet, because "in the toilets it says not to drink the water" I don't think I managed to stop the wtf look from appearing on my face.

I was waiting for a train and on the opposite platform across two train tracks was a lady. She called out to me and asked where to get a train to London from. I confirmed it was my platform and suddenly she bent down to sit at the edge of her platform, Jumped down and walked across the tracks and climbed back up! I have to admit that I let out a scream.

Name changed, as I don't want to out myself or, for that matter, the man I'm talking about. He was actually quite nice, as a work-colleague.

When I started the job, I was told, “Don't let him tell you about his dolls. HR have told him to stop talking about them.” Well, ok, I suppose there are men who collect dolls. Then I was told there was actually a TV documentary about him, and eventually I got to watch a recording of it.

He lived with a “family” of five life-sized female dolls, all very realistic and (I was told) correct in every detail. He was shown sitting with them at Christmas dinner, etc.

One comment he made in the documentary was, “People – especially women but not just women - don't realise how bad it is for males who have a sex drive to go without.”

One lunchtime down at the pub we women in the team (good-humouredly) interrogated him about his life. His most memorable comment was “I don't know why I can't get a woman.”

Apart from anything else, I'd have thought his choice of the phrase “get a woman” might explain it ...

I used to be a police officer. I was driving a marked police car and stopped to let a sweet old lady cross the road - probably 85-90 years old. She smiled, waved, and proceeded to cross the road in the most excruciatingly slow, slow motion. Like deliberate slow motion - not just because she was old and frail. This was exaggerated slowness, with her staring right at me, silently laughing. When she eventually got to the other side of the road (after several minutes) she waved again, and walked off at normal speed.
Funny old thing - I can still see her mischievous face in my mind's eye 🙂

Mine isn’t as good as these but there’s two men who walk a parrot and ferrets at the Kelpies in Falkirk.

Many years ago, very early one winters morning in the car with my brother, we saw a pair of feet sticking out of a skip by the side of the road. My brother went to see what had happened and found a local lady had fallen head first into the skip when trying to salvage something she’d spotted that she quite fancied. She’d gone out at the crack of dawn to avoid being seen.

I'm a teacher and one year I had a child that I'll call Oscar Wilde in my class. The child had as an unusual name as that example, so not many that you'd hear out and about.

I was at a playpark in my hometown, about 5 miles away from where I teach and where this child lives. A woman I'd never seen before was walking down the public footpath that bordered the playpark and I was sitting in the park with my child. Suddenly, and really loudly, the woman shouted out 'OSCAR WILDE' and said nothing more.

Still makes me think WTF to this day.

Went to a party 400 miles from home. As we left the party, a taxi drew up and a girl carrying an unusual musical instrument got out and headed to the house next door.

“My next door neighbour plays one of those” says me. Turns to look at the girl and it WAS my next door neighbour (from 400 miles away!)

Years ago, in Brussels, there was a fair in the street, with a doughnut stall. The man selling doughnuts whipped out his false teeth, dipped them in the bowl of sugar on the counter, and put them back in. It was so fast, he'd obviously done it very often..

Disorganisedsecretsquirrel : In Thailand ...

I only spent a couple of weeks in Thailand, but I soon realised that families there absolutely live on their motor cycles. It's as if the motor cycle was their sitting room sofa.

They're also amazingly polite. Following a Thai friend across an incredibly busy major road in Bangkok (he disdained the footbridge directly over our heads), I walked in front of a motor cycle. Luckily it was doing only about 15 mph. As he swerved around me, the rider said apologetically, “Excuse me.” He even said it in English!

I love Thai people (except maybe my suicidal friend …)

Aged 15 I was home from school for the summer holidays and took a motorbike out to meet up with some friends (yes, completely illegal but also very commonplace). I was riding down a road that's always quiet but never really completely empty and saw an old van pulled over at the side of the road. I assumed it was a traveller who'd broken down so started slowing down to see if I could help when I realised there's a couple absolutely going for it with the back doors wide open for all the world to see. I'd just passed a coach load of tourists so they must have all got an eyeful as well.
A more grim wtf moment was sitting in a cafe in the States and a woman sitting at the next table plonks her baby on the table, changes a shitty nappy and just leaves the dirty one on the table for the server to deal with.

My lunchtime walk took me past an old church. Deep in thought, I headed across the graveyard towards the front of the church, intending to pass along the side of the building.

As I reached the corner of the church, I glimpsed out of the corner of my eye a skeleton, standing in front of the church, calmly gazing at me. By the time I'd woken up to what I'd seen, I'd already taken a few steps along the side of the church, so the apparition was out of sight.

I dismissed it as a trick of the light, and walked on. But there was no denying it - I had seen it. I thought: If I don't go back and check, I'll wonder for the rest of my life what it was that I saw. So I turned back and peered around the corner of the building.

There stood a tall, thin building worker, dressed in white overalls, white cap, goggles, and a white dust mask.

And looking very disconcerted at this strange woman peering at him around the corner of the church …