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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Talk me down please

29 replies

ciciabanans · 03/09/2020 10:27

I had a text 45 minutes ago to say my Dd was not at school, she left at the normal time but the school,say she's not in. I called them 40 minutes ago and am waiting for them to do a physical check to see if she's there. She's yea4 10, back in yesterday. She said school was shit, was grumpy all evening and went to bed at 9. I'm getting quite worried tbh as it's out of character for her. She's in year ten.

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 03/09/2020 10:29

does she have a phone you can track

Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2020 10:30

Can you text her?

ShalomToYouJackie · 03/09/2020 10:30

She's probably bunking off with a friend and will come home at the usual time pretending she's been at school

OfTheNight · 03/09/2020 10:31

Does she have a phone you can use ‘find my iPhone’ or other similar tracking? Is her phone ringing when you try/messages going through?

gettingusedtothelimelight · 03/09/2020 10:34

Her being safe is more important then her being in school and I think once you can establish where she is then you can work on why she's not at school. Maybe it was just too overwhelming for her to go back - I know my DS in year 12 is very panicked at returning. The hype over coronavirus and exams could be just too much for her

I hope you locate her soon and that she's fine - and then obviously she gets a telling off!

Original poster
ciciabanans · 03/09/2020 10:41

If she has been bunking off it's the first time she's done it. I'll be at work when she gets home Sad I can't track her phone.

OP posts:
Original poster
ciciabanans · 03/09/2020 10:43

Phone is going to voicemail so it's switched off, it would be at school. Still no call back from the school

OP posts:
GoJetterGirl · 03/09/2020 10:44

On this occasion OP, the last place you need to be is work,

Lockheart · 03/09/2020 10:44

Is anyone else not in school? It's possible she's gone round to a friend's who's either still home schooling or has parents who are at work and so has an empty house.

MouthBreathingRage · 03/09/2020 10:45

Do you have any of her friends numbers or their parents? Do you think she's alone or in a group if she has bunked off? Could she be at home?

Lockheart · 03/09/2020 10:45

Is it possible she's gone back home? Does she have keys?

TheoriginalLEM · 03/09/2020 10:46

Call the school and ask if any of her other friends are not in school today? Call her friends. My dd did this in year 10, the school didnt bloody tell me. Her and her friend decided it would be fun to have a party in her nans caravan, a five hour walk away! Police called etc, tracked down safe at midnight- categorically the worst day of my life!

Original poster
ciciabanans · 03/09/2020 10:47

@Lockheart

Is it possible she's gone back home? Does she have keys?
I'm at home at the moment, my shift doesn't start until a bit later. I don't know if to phone work now or wait. I don't know about her friends.
OP posts:
AyeCorona1 · 03/09/2020 10:47

Call the school back, ask to speak to the attendance officer to confirm if your child is in school. Otherwise that you will be reporting her to the police as missing. Give them 5 minutes to confirm either way.

(ex attendance officer, they have a duty of care/responsibility to let you know if she's there or not. Safeguarding 101)

dontdisturbmenow · 03/09/2020 10:48

I had the same with my DS in Year 10. Totally unlike him so was totally panicking.

Got straight to his voicemail when I called. Turned out he was in school but somewhere else he was expected at request of teacher and missed the register call.

Didn't find out u til he called me at break time. Crossing fingers it will be the same for your DD.

Original poster
ciciabanans · 03/09/2020 10:51

She's there. Thank you, I was getting quite worried as it's so out of character, thru have been and seen her in class.

OP posts:
steppemum · 03/09/2020 10:51

How worrying OP.

I think you need to talk to school. Tell them you are concerned and going to report her as missing to police, and ask if the school has noticed if any other friends are missing.

I am in two minds as to whether I would phone police, I suspect she is just bunking off and will reappear.

Frownette · 03/09/2020 10:53

Oh that's good. You can relax now and have a nice coffee/tea!

steppemum · 03/09/2020 10:53

Oh good, glad she is there.

WorraLiberty · 03/09/2020 10:56

Twice my DC's school did this to me, citing a 'registration error' whatever that means. Frightened the life out of me.

Glad she's there OP.

Original poster
ciciabanans · 03/09/2020 10:56

@WorraLiberty

Twice my DC's school did this to me, citing a 'registration error' whatever that means. Frightened the life out of me.

Glad she's there OP.

Me too, I haven't calmed down yet. Off to have brunch before going to work. Thanks everybody.
OP posts:
NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 03/09/2020 10:57

I don't know if to phone work now or wait.
Phone work now and tell work you'll be in later (subject to finding your DD).
She may be waiting to come home until after the time you normally leave for your shift. If she doesn't come home, call the police if this is really out of character for her.

How did you handle it last night. What did you say to your daughter to allay her fears?

ex attendance officer, they have a duty of care/responsibility to let you know if she's there or not. Safeguarding 101
Haven't they already informed the parent that she isn't there so they have fulfilled their duty of care?

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 03/09/2020 10:59

Just seen your update. Very pleased she is okay. What happened for them to report her absent if she was actually present?

RedHelenB · 03/09/2020 11:04

Typical mumsnet overreaction in the responses! Glad she's there but I thought she would be and she d just missed registration.. phone should be off in school after all.

Original poster
ciciabanans · 03/09/2020 11:06

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite

Just seen your update. Very pleased she is okay. What happened for them to report her absent if she was actually present?
I've logged on and she's not showing as in on the automated system, they had a cover tutor yesterday so I expect they haven't been able to log on to record attendance/absence or are slow doing it. Either way, she's at school.
OP posts:
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