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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to walk DD to school on 1st day of Yr 7?

43 replies

ChazP · 02/09/2020 22:00

DD starts secondary school tomorrow. She’s going to the local school, along with most of her primary school classmates. However, they’ve all made plans to walk in groups that don’t include her, (she’s always been a bit on the periphery of the various friendship groups). She’s got a plan to walk with some of them from Monday, but she’s got no-one to walk in with tomorrow. One of her friends is apparently walking in with her dad which prompted my DD to ask me if I’d walk her in. It hadn’t even occurred to me that parents would walk their kids to school once they were at secondary school, but my DD is clearly anxious, and I don’t want to send her off on her own. At the same time, I don’t want her being seen as “that kid” that needs to have Mummy walk her to school. Just wanted to know people’s thoughts about it.

Thanks

OP posts:
Waveysnail · 02/09/2020 22:02

If dd wants you to then why not. Most parents here took their kids on the first day of secondary school.

Waveysnail · 02/09/2020 22:02

And most parents picked up too so they could go for celebration milkshakes etc

Bunnybigears · 02/09/2020 22:03

Ask your DD what she wants to do.

ChanceEncounter · 02/09/2020 22:03

If she asked it is fine. Hope it goes ok for her!

Findahouse21 · 02/09/2020 22:03

I'd walk her partway but not right to the gates I think

Titsywoo · 02/09/2020 22:04

I don't think it's a bit deal if she wants you to. I dropped my DD on her first day and watched her go in - I was very worried about her as she knew noone. I doubt anyone else noticed to be honest!

Original poster
ChazP · 02/09/2020 22:04

Oh, that’s good to know. Because my parents just packed me off on the bus on the first day of secondary school, I just didn’t know if parents accompanying kids was a thing that happened.

OP posts:
YgritteSnow · 02/09/2020 22:04

I take my dd and pick her up. She's going into year 9 this year. Loads of girls still have parents meeting them at her school. I was genuinely surprised how many as MN had led me to believe it was the most helicopter and controlling thing a parent could do once their child reached secondary school. No one cares.

stovetopespresso · 02/09/2020 22:05

if she wants it fine! she's basically a primary school kid in a new uniform. she won't want you to for long anyway. maybe you can walk some of the way with her and say goodbye when she meets a friend or something?

perfectpanda · 02/09/2020 22:05

I walked my dd first day yr 7 and loads of my friends are walking their year 7s tomorrow. I'd do as she wants.

Original poster
ChazP · 02/09/2020 22:06

@Waveysnail

And most parents picked up too so they could go for celebration milkshakes etc
There does just happen to be a rather good milkshake shop on the route back from the school, so I might suggest meeting her there so she walks some of the way back herself.
OP posts:
Wearywithteens · 02/09/2020 22:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

MaskingForIt · 02/09/2020 22:06

You can walk with her, and if she starts feeling self-conscious then you can always just say goodbye while walking, and carry on while she turns in. You don’t have to stop, kiss, hug, wave etc.

My dad had a month off work when I was about 14 and walked me to school every day. I loved it and it is one of my most cherished memories of that time.

pourmeanotherglass · 02/09/2020 22:09

Could you walk her nearly there, then leave her 5 mins away so she doesn't arrive with her mum? I used to do this with dd2, as her school and my work were in the same direction.

Original poster
ChazP · 02/09/2020 22:09

Thank you all. I feel much better about it now. I’ll certainly tell her that I absolutely won’t be offended if she wants to dump me half way there, if she sees some friends.

OP posts:
RedskyAtnight · 02/09/2020 22:12

Our local school has just had an induction day for Year 7. The traffic outside was worse than on a normal school day when the whole school is in. So I'm deducing that a large number of Year 7 parents are taking their children to school - possibly more than usual year (when my DC started secondary school I was warned not to get any closer to school than our house!)

RedCatBlueCat · 02/09/2020 22:13

Bit different, but most of the Y7 had a parent (and in some cases both parents) at the bus stop this morning.
And one of the girls I didnt know was in tears because she thought she was in the wrong place (she was), and needed an adult (me) to get her sorted. To be fair, the whole bus thing was a shitshow, with routes dependant on postcode/secondary school and released at 9pm the night before school started.
I was 5 different school busses on my 3 min walk.

If she wants you, go. You can always turn around before the school gates.

ILoveFood87 · 02/09/2020 22:19

I walked mine on first day of year 7. Lots of parents actually did. We got chatting at the gate watching our babies walk in.

WinWinnieTheWay · 02/09/2020 22:21

Can you drive her? Being dropped off by car isn't as embarrassing as walking with a parent.

Original poster
ChazP · 02/09/2020 22:27

@WinWinnieTheWay

Can you drive her? Being dropped off by car isn't as embarrassing as walking with a parent.
They’re not allowing cars near the site, but I thought I’d reassure her that I would leave her to it the moment she wants me to.

I’m also happy for her friends to never know that she asked me to walk her in - she can say that I was an annoying, over-clingy mum if it makes her feel better!

OP posts:
BoardingSchoolMater · 02/09/2020 22:27

You do whatever makes your DD happy, OP.

Year 7 isn't some magical portal which transports children into a world where they would die/be ridiculed if you walked with them. They will soon tell you if they're fed up with it.

Mine went through the prep system (i.e. they changed schools at the start of Year 9), and it was completely standard for parents to drop off and collect right to the end of Year 8. It was no different from when they were in the pre-prep, really. Mine would have been more than capable of walking themselves to school in Years 7 and 8, but part of the 'culture' was for parents to walk with them (or drive them, if they had longer journeys).

Original poster
ChazP · 02/09/2020 22:28

@ILoveFood87

I walked mine on first day of year 7. Lots of parents actually did. We got chatting at the gate watching our babies walk in.
That’s really good to know.
OP posts:
Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 02/09/2020 22:28

Lots of kids here being taken in just for the first day. Seems quite normal to me!

EssexCat · 02/09/2020 22:29

I’d walk mine if they asked definitely. I won’t be surprised if my y6 DD does next year - her brothers didn’t but she’s much more sensitive.

You can always just leave her near the school and not go up the actual gate.

Shizzlestix · 02/09/2020 22:31

Do it, it made me smile to see anxious parents waiting for little Year 7s today at home time and the hugs. I was able to meet a couple of parents of my new form. It was fab!