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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to walk DD to school on 1st day of Yr 7?

43 replies

ChazP · 02/09/2020 22:00

DD starts secondary school tomorrow. She’s going to the local school, along with most of her primary school classmates. However, they’ve all made plans to walk in groups that don’t include her, (she’s always been a bit on the periphery of the various friendship groups). She’s got a plan to walk with some of them from Monday, but she’s got no-one to walk in with tomorrow. One of her friends is apparently walking in with her dad which prompted my DD to ask me if I’d walk her in. It hadn’t even occurred to me that parents would walk their kids to school once they were at secondary school, but my DD is clearly anxious, and I don’t want to send her off on her own. At the same time, I don’t want her being seen as “that kid” that needs to have Mummy walk her to school. Just wanted to know people’s thoughts about it.

Thanks

OP posts:

SushiGo · 02/09/2020 22:32

If it's anything like my yr7s first day today there will be parents chasing behind with stuff their kids have forgotten!

Definitely do it if she wants you to, and I hope she has fun.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 02/09/2020 22:35

DD wanted me to walk her in every morning almost for the whole first term In the end I was the one who said no, because it was a six mile round walk before nine! She was absolutely fine walking home on her own, but got very worked up about the thought of being late into form.

Until lockdown, I was still walking her ten minutes up the road just to get her started off each day. Hoping she might drop that now she's going into Yr8...

MsTSwift · 02/09/2020 22:37

No rules be led by the child I think. Dd starts secondary tomorrow too good luck!

TinselTortoise · 02/09/2020 22:40

My DD starts Yr8 tomorrow and she has got to use a different entrance to the usual one to stay separate from the other year groups. She is nervous about going back to school and has asked me to walk her in. When she started in yr7 most parents walked there kids to the entrance on the first day. If your DD wants you to walk with her you should do. Hope she has a good day.

TinselTortoise · 02/09/2020 22:43

*their not there. Time for bed I think!

greengreengrass14 · 02/09/2020 22:48

In the current situation I feel most people realise that young people and parents as well need a bit more emotional support, so yes, just go with you gut and what feels right.

WeakandWobbly · 02/09/2020 22:52

I took my DD in to school today for Yr7 and ever single child had a parent with them. Some both parents! It's a big day, and if they want you to accompany part way that's fine. It won't be for long!

Original poster

ChazP · 02/09/2020 22:53

Thank you all so much. I feel really reassured. And thanks for all the good wishes for my DD. She’s been really excited about going, but I think reality has set in over the last few days and so nerves are understandably showing.

I’ll enjoy my walk with her tomorrow.

OP posts:

YgritteSnow · 02/09/2020 22:58

I do think the party line on MN, that kids should be and will want to be walking and travelling to school alone in year 7 just doesn't transfer to real life tbh. Everyone I know took their child on the first day and many for some weeks after and picked up. As I said in my pp there's loads there waiting after school too, not as many as primary school obvious but plenty enough that school has set guidelines for parents picking up and where they can and can't stop in their cars etc. This is a school in London by the way so not a rural school where a large cohort need to travel in by car.

Newnamenewopenme · 02/09/2020 23:01

I’m a secondary teacher and we tend to have a few the first day. I wouldn’t go as far as the gates though and definitely not through them. Maybe reassure her that there will be teachers around directing them where to go as that’s probably why she’s anxious.

I teach a year 9 girl who’s mum walks her to the reception door everyday even though she begs her not to - the poor girl is mortified and we have staff on duty outside so I can’t imagine the reason! Once her mums walked her to the door she waits a couple of minutes then goes back out to the gates to stand with her friends until the bell.

OldBean2 · 03/09/2020 21:14

This thread is really interesting, for context I am a Chair of Govs at a primary school and I was really quite shocked by the number of parents still walking their Yr 7s to the bus stop. The children all walk together and avoid their parents, I thought they would stop after a couple of weeks but they were still there until right before lockdown. I just don't understand why.

YgritteSnow · 03/09/2020 22:09

The children all walk together and avoid their parents,

What all of them do this? All of them try to avoid their parents? I don't believe you.

Mummydoctor · 03/09/2020 22:16

My son started year 7 today and I dropped him off in the car outside. He wanted me to walk him to the gate as we were early and not many people around, and I snuck a hug in when we said goodbye!
I’ll be led by him and as he grows in confidence I’m sure he’ll start to walk and get the bus himself!

Longwhiskers14 · 06/09/2020 21:00

I'm so glad I found this thread! My Y7 DD is having a massive wobble tonight about walking to her new school tomorrow and has asked me to go with her. She struggles with anxiety and had an arrangement to walk with one friend but this girl now wants to take a detour to meet a third girl and my DD just wants to go straight to school and not be late. I thought it would be a step back for her if I walked some of the way with her, but after reading this I'm not going to worry. I imagine we'll get halfway and then she'll bump into other girls she knows.

OldBean2 · 14/09/2020 09:19

The children all walk together and avoid their parents,

What all of them do this? All of them try to avoid their parents? I don't believe you.

YgritteSnow, why should I lie? The bus stop has become like a temporary school gate, the Yr 7s all move to one side of the bus stop, the parents stand together on the other side of the shelter chatting away. Even when they walk down the street, the children walk about 15 feet away from their parents with their friends.

After six months, I would have thought that they would be capable of catching a bus to school.

Familyiseverything10 · 14/09/2020 09:28

We don't live in walking distance of our high school. The whole of my sons primary class will either need parents taking and collecting by car or catch a bus.
I will probably do this for their whole time at high school unless the kids ask me not to!

EssexGurl · 14/09/2020 10:03

I walked my DD on day 1 and 2. She wanted me to. It was lovely for both of us. Her older brother then went back and they walk together. She has friends but not on the same route. She is a real chatterbox and needs to talk in the mornings.

AmyandPhilipfan · 14/09/2020 11:26

I am really, really surprised by these answers. Times must have really changed since I was at secondary when you were seen as grown up enough to get yourself to and from school. When my 11 year old was misbehaving during the summer I used it as a threat that if I couldn’t trust his behaviour I’d have to walk to school with him! He knew it was a grown up thing to do, to go by himself, and definitely didn’t want me there! I don’t thing there’s anything wrong with it, of course, I just don’t think there’s any need (as long as school is a reasonable distance etc) for secondary school kids to have a parent accompany them.

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