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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

aibu to think mn should be for mums and not dads.

882 replies

2hot2cook · 06/10/2007 12:39

id like to think that when i come on here for a quick chat im talking to other women. ive noticed some men on here and thats actually putting me off. some of the topics we talk about are very intimate. i cant understand why men would want to come on this website, maybe the name should be changed to parentnet. aibu.

OP posts:
xyzabc · 10/10/2007 20:35

must admit i agree with the op. think she deserves a bit more support from us women. maybe we need women like her to stop the whole world melting into one. there are differences between men and women, (thankfully) although how you can have a "women only site" im not sure.

ScottishMummy · 10/10/2007 20:59

the OP is inadequately thought out and ideologically unsound - that is genderless and a weak point can not be disguised, so no pseudo-sisterhood-wimmin-together here to justify it

ChantillyLace · 10/10/2007 21:06

I've already posted on this thread and can't believe this is still dragging on!

This is a parenting site, men are parents too, get over it.

If it really is a problem then start your own fluffiness.com website!

2hot2cook · 10/10/2007 21:07

thank you to another 2 supporters.

ERICL; im sorry you have had a bad time at m&t groups etc, but maybe this highlights my point. women dont always know what to say to men, and its not because they're ignorant.

my dh would rather visit his mother in law than visit a m&t group, also i had the best dad in the world, but he never changed a nappy in his life!

stop trying too hard, relax. you dont have to be a "new man" to be a good dad.

i know women and men are parents, but women do most of the parenting. at my ds school, 95% of parents picking up are women, and the few men that do pick up tend to stick together. thats just the way it is.

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 10/10/2007 21:12

2hot2cook - are you really counting your "supporters"??or following the narrative and jist of the argument. i am not counting but your viewpoint appears to be wholly slated

ChantillyLace · 10/10/2007 21:16

Bit of a generalisation saying women do most of the parenting! There are men out there that don't care or do their share and there are women out there that don't care or do their share.

All we're saying is, you picked the wrong site to complain about men being on it, the men on here are great and more valuable than some of the women!

2hot2cook · 10/10/2007 21:16

scottishmummy;
are you aware that women are still being paid less than men for the same job.

its women like me that will fight for women like you. carry on having a laugh at my expense shouting

"all equal now"......

sorry scottish mummy, but your so wrong.

OP posts:
chipmonkeyPumpkinNorks · 10/10/2007 21:18

I hardly think Eric is "trying too hard" by bringing his dd to an M+ T group when he is the child's main carer!

ScottishMummy · 10/10/2007 21:20

are u digressing to disguise a poor OP.i have not raised pay/employment nor did you in op, nor have i said am laughing either so continue to digress and divert to avoid your dodgy op if u must

ChantillyLace · 10/10/2007 21:23

Yes some men are being paid more for the same job as some women but WTF has that got to do with your thread on here??

It's attitudes of women like you that keep us being considered as the 'little women' because we seem to think we can't survive without some sort of sisterhood support.

The friendship and advice on here is invaluable and a lot of us have benefitted so much from MN, but I have had advice from men on here on personal issues that I would never have considered.

Go burn your bra on another site!

YeahBut · 10/10/2007 21:28

Good advice is good advice, regardless of whether or not it comes from someone in possession of a Y chromosome. Some of the best posters on here are men.

2hot2cook · 10/10/2007 21:28

no sorry, not a dodgy op, just dodgy replies. you carry on patting men on the back, just remember who got women the vote. umm.... let me see....was it a WOMAN.

OP posts:
Habbibu · 10/10/2007 21:30

Shit, 2hot - you won't even fight your DH to "let" you have male friends! How exactly will you "fight" the men who are maintaining inequality if you won't even bloody well talk to them?

ScottishMummy · 10/10/2007 21:33

just you keep deviating/digressing from ideologically poor OP, hoping we get lost in your tub-thumping-bellyaching-im-doing-it-for-you-sisters desperate attempt to distract from OP

it wont work you know -it is evident you are talking nonsense

ChantillyLace · 10/10/2007 21:37

Equal opportunities and pay in the workplace, the right to vote, my haven't we digressed somewhat from the original OP! If those are the drums you now want to bang, are you not therefore being hypocritical in saying that generic sites such as these should only be open to women?!

Equal rights for all = freedom of speech, freedom of expression, equal opportunities on everything for all, ergo dads on a parenting site. If the group was called Women-who-wish-to-discuss-womens'-personal-issues-excluding-men.com, then you might just have a valid argument!

2hot2cook · 10/10/2007 21:38

CHANTILLYLACE; im sorry you dont share my views. i didnt start this thread to talk about equal pay etc, however the response from women to my op has been quite remarkable. im just reminding some of them, that if it was'nt for women,..... well lets just say things would be different. ive been told to "get lost" basically, still not sure why some women so hostile?? more than the men.

theres irony for you.

OP posts:
ChantillyLace · 10/10/2007 21:40

Not hostile 2hot, just flummoxed by your attitude! What decade are you living in? Personal friend of Mrs Pankhurst are you?

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 10/10/2007 21:43

Can I just point out that most of, if not ALL of the men on this site would probably be standing there beside us if we were to go to war about equal rights.

I don't see how someone so obviously stuck in a time warp can start up the whole 'we women should stick together' crap.

I'd take any of the men on this site, even ones I havent spoken to, over you, anyday.

2hot2cook · 10/10/2007 21:46

habbibu; thats different. dh wouldnt want me inviting a male friend around for coffee, no of course not. would yours! but fighting for equal rights, you bet he would be right behind me. and do women really have male friends? i dont know ANY that do.

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 10/10/2007 21:47

2Hot2Cook -your sheer grandiosity and bumptious
mutterings really are breathtaking ahem i quote "its women like me that will fight for women like you"

don't sweat it sister, i don't need to fight. nor do i need you to fight for me

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 10/10/2007 21:47

I have male friends, and DP would be perfectly happy for me to have them for coffee, or even go out for a drink with them. I think it's the fact that he trusts me

meemar · 10/10/2007 21:49

"women dont always know what to say to men, and its not because they're ignorant".

Men are not a different species. If you don't know how to say hello and make a bit of small talk to a man at a M&T group just because he is a man, then IMO you are a bit ignorant.

JoFan · 10/10/2007 21:49

2hot you definitely have balls

methinks you are a man

ChantillyLace · 10/10/2007 21:49

I have male friends, and ones that come for coffee. Is there a problem with that? A friend is a friend whatever gender.

2hot2cook · 10/10/2007 21:50

lorayingetcetc;

well......i can see men have got you exactly where they want you.

OP posts: