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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think mn should be for mums and not dads.

882 replies

2hot2cook · 06/10/2007 12:39

id like to think that when i come on here for a quick chat im talking to other women. ive noticed some men on here and thats actually putting me off. some of the topics we talk about are very intimate. i cant understand why men would want to come on this website, maybe the name should be changed to parentnet. aibu.

OP posts:
jhyesmum · 10/10/2007 16:44

i think it's great the men get on here too.

it shows that it's team work bringing up our DC.

lilibet · 10/10/2007 16:47

2hot, out of curiousity, would you answer a man if he posted on here with a problem that you had experience of?

wabbit · 10/10/2007 16:49

Just had to add my twopenceworth... YABU!!

Think it's great having men on here - here's to the guys and all the other MNers who advocate equality online!!

Men round 24/7???? WTF do you do for a living??

jhyesmum · 10/10/2007 16:50

men are wonderful IMO.

MommalovestodrinkBLOOD · 10/10/2007 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ScottishMummy · 10/10/2007 17:03

MEN i love 'em i presume the majority of us laydees got up the nelly duff as a result of the furtling with men, so hello boys and we are all parents

jhyesmum · 10/10/2007 17:07

scottishmummy - pms!!!!

My words exactly!!

ScottishMummy · 10/10/2007 17:14

men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men, men,men,men,men,men,men,men,
men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men,men, ...oooo is that too many men...dont want to be greedy like

jhyesmum · 10/10/2007 17:18

never too many men sugar!

GreebosWhiskers · 10/10/2007 17:25

This is a wind-up, right?

It's gotta be!

In the event that it isn't a wind-up & the OP is being serious about holding these blinkered, sexist & totally ridiculous views then

!!!YES YOU ARE BEING VERY BLOODY UNREASONABLE!!!

jhyesmum · 10/10/2007 17:29

obviously she only uses men as sperm donors and then chucks 'em out.

Lulumama · 10/10/2007 17:30

this has been going on since saturday, i think enough is enough

JoFan · 10/10/2007 17:48

here be the thread with the most men on it on the whole of MN

ironic

ScottishMummy · 10/10/2007 17:51

no problemo i just about reckon that jhyesmum and i can keep 'em all warm

jhyesmum · 10/10/2007 18:02

WinkWink

ScottishMummy · 10/10/2007 18:05

jhyesmum and i are very accommodating - especially to new to Mumsnet boys

Original poster
2hot2cook · 10/10/2007 18:54

lillibet; no i would'nt engage in "chatty" conversation with a man on here. but i would answer any problem he might have if i had the answer, (because i am a very nice person.)

i like men, i even married one, and im not suggesting the men on here are anything other than a1 people, but...... i prefer talking to women. not sure what all the fuss is to be honest.

OP posts:
LadyHex · 10/10/2007 18:57

"not sure what all the fuss is to be honest."

ROFL!

This is one of the most attention-seeking threads I've seen in ages!

bumperlicious · 10/10/2007 19:04

I used to keep trying to encourage DH to come on here as I though he would find it useful (& I wouldn't have to keep repeating everything to him!) but then I realised I wouldn't be able to start threads like "AIBU to wish DH didn't put his socks in the laundry rolled up in a ball?".

yab vvvv u!

MaeBee · 10/10/2007 19:11

god, i might be really sticking my neck out here, but i am sympathetic to the op, and think she's maybe getting a rough time for this question.
i DON'T agree that mumsnet should only be for women, but i don't think its unreasonable to ask the question. i have been involved in women only spaces, and women only events, and gigs, and womens consciousness raising groups in the 70's were a major driving force behind second wave feminism and really helped move things on in terms of gender equality.
so, yes, im a feminist and have myself found women only spaces really empowering and invigorating and useful at times. im much less interested in them now, and have criticisms but don't think that women only stuff should be outright condemned. and yes, also, being a feminist means i think it's essential for men to be as involved as women with their kids and so i welcome the men who are on mumsnet and see that as a move toward gender equality.
although im not sure the op is coming at it from a desire to further equality and liberation...!

Original poster
2hot2cook · 10/10/2007 19:52

MAEBEE; thank you so much for being brave enough to side with me. i know you dont agree with everything about my op, but at least you understand my point!

other mums (and dads) on here think im a wind up? which is a bit

but at last, after 4 days ....... success!!

THANK YOU

OP posts:
LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 10/10/2007 20:03

"i DON'T agree that mumsnet should only be for women" I wouldn't call that success really 2hot.

Minum · 10/10/2007 20:26

Have been lurking on this thread for a while - and have to say I have sympathy with OP. Women only spaces are very precious, and very rare, and I often have a longing for them. However, Mumsnet may not be the right place, we want both men and women to be full on parents, and for many parents this is a valuable resource to support their skills.

I wouldnt want to make any active parent, male or female feel unwelcome, or deprive them of the support and info available on this site. While I sympathise with a desire for a womens space to discuss family life, it probably isnt appropriate that this forum is women only.

I am suprised by the strength of feeling on this - I feel very ambivalent on this one.

EricL · 10/10/2007 20:29

Listen - there are plenty of things that are just for women and vice versa. I have no problem about that. Each sex like to do their own things with their own kind somtimes - and thats fine.

But this is a public internet forum about parenting

You cannot honestly suggest that you don't want men on here. That is the ludicrous part of your statement.

I get annoyed at the exclusion of men from things that are about parenting and not just about mums or being female. I have been excluded from ante-natal classes when we were getting ready for our first child, making my DW very angry that i had wanted to be involved but i wasn't allowed cos it was only women, and also had to leave a 'Mother & Toddlers' group after four attempts because of the hostile and un-friendly attitude of the women there.

I never went there for my own sakes or to further my social group or anything - i went there because my DD loved it and i didn't want her to miss out. In the end she did because of the attitude of the women there when confronted by a man who is brave enough to want to do the right thing.

You remind me of these type of people and it annoys me that there is this hidden sexism still prevalent in this society towards dads doinf 'mums' stuff.

screaminghousewife · 10/10/2007 20:29

The male issue aside, I do actually think that the point that this is an 'open' forum seems to have passed you by 2h2c. If you post on a forum such as this, you must accept that 'anyone' can read it. If you aren't comfortable with thousands of people reading your intimate shenanigans, then don't post on a public forum.
Simple innit?!