2hot, your relationship reminds of my grandparents' (not in a hideously "you must be in your 80s" kind of way, I'm 35). My grandad never helped out with the kids in terms of nappies, washing, etc. He went out to work and he worked hard. Ironically in the winters he was unemployed (he was a brickie and in those days they didn't work in the winter) and I think he still didn't do anything in the house. Personally I would have murdered him but - hey ho - each generation is different.
They have very fixed gender lines. I remember my grandmother telling me about a telly prog about a lifeboat crew, the captain was female. She said "I really can't imagine a crew of men following a woman". Me and my mum just died laughing.
The most hilarious thing for me is, my grandmother always says to me "I don't know how you manage everything" by which she means: how do you manage a full-time job, a 2 year old ds and a disabled husband. Obviously it ain't no walk in the park, but compared to a dh who was completely uninvolved, a house without electricity, rationing, two kids under two (all of which she endured) - it is a walk in the park!
My grandmother could literally not conceive how a woman could have male friends. She probably doesn't realise I have tonnes. I would guess that by upbringing and by dh's influence you find it deeply weird that men and women can interact as friends, as we do every day on MN, and that's why you wish MN was women-only.
You've already accepted that you have a minority viewpoint, and you're perfectly willing to continue to hold it. If the dynamic between you and dh suits you and dh, then fine and dandy. A lot of us want a different thing, but it's not for us to say you are wrong, just to say you won't find what you are looking for on MN. We are men, we are women, we are parents, we are friends. We're all different, and yet the same.