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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

aibu to think mn should be for mums and not dads.

882 replies

2hot2cook · 06/10/2007 12:39

id like to think that when i come on here for a quick chat im talking to other women. ive noticed some men on here and thats actually putting me off. some of the topics we talk about are very intimate. i cant understand why men would want to come on this website, maybe the name should be changed to parentnet. aibu.

OP posts:
2hot2cook · 07/10/2007 13:02

lulumama; mytwo; thank you.

i tried to responde to as many posts as i could, but too many. i am sorry if i upset any one, never my intention.

i am a very shy person, and do not have any male friends (seriously) dh wouldnt allow it anyway. and i know you never know who your talking to, but i rather (childlike) assumed all women on here.

yes, something good has come out of this, and id love to stay.

OP posts:
MyTwopenceworth · 07/10/2007 13:04

Just don't tell your husband there are men on here!

Welcome to mumsnet. Everyone's bonkers except me.

Lulumama · 07/10/2007 13:06

i think you will enjoy it here

i don;t think you meant to deliberately upset anyone

lots of people are very protective of mumsnet!!

hope you enjoy it here, don;t think too much about who is behind each nickname.

TheHerdNerd · 07/10/2007 13:20

I'm a man, and I agree with the OP. Men should NOT be here - it's bloody dangerous.

I inadvertantly strayed onto a thread about mooncups last weekend. The last my family saw of me that day was me running panic stricken out the door screaming "Holy mother of god!" and tearing at my eyes.

I like MN (mostly) (bar the man bashing ) - it lets me see what women really think, as opposed to what women want me to think they think.

MyTwopenceworth · 07/10/2007 13:22
MyTwopenceworth · 07/10/2007 13:27

You do realise though, that you are only reading what women want strangers to think that they are really thinking instead of what they let folks think they're thinking.

Which is different to what they say they're thinking.

And what they're actually thinking.

Remember those Russian dolls...doll inside a doll inside a doll....

MyTwopenceworth · 07/10/2007 13:28
2hot2cook · 07/10/2007 13:28

theherdnerd; i dont know what mooncups are?
but live a very sheltered life.

OP posts:
MyTwopenceworth · 07/10/2007 13:29

the mooncup

I can see I'm going to need to leave the bottle right here.

2mum · 07/10/2007 13:32

i dont mind if there are men on it. I never really notice them on it much! Ive probably only spoken to a man on here about once so i dont think theres a lot of men on here. Anyway im sure a lot of our husbands/boyfriends/brothers./sons/nephews etc! have read what we`ve written at some stage. My dh has been hanging over my shoulder noseying at what im reading many a time.

TheHerdNerd · 07/10/2007 13:33

Oh, arse.

2h2c: google for mooncups - but on your own head be it.

2hot2cook · 07/10/2007 13:42

mytwo; YUK!!!

OP posts:
ThreadyKrueger · 07/10/2007 13:42

In the novel Case Histories (Kate Atkinson) just about the first thing we are told about the leading male character is that he listens to Women's Hour.

I suppose that's a device to get us to understand straight away that he is the kind of man who likes women and shares and admires female ways of thinking.

I guess that the men who choose to hang out on mumsnet are similar,though perhaps less good at solving murder mysteries.

I've only been on mumsnet a few months so I'm not that able to judge, but is seems great to have men like that around.

Woman's Hour is like mumsnet in that the female labeling indicates certain set of interests and a prevalence of female voices without intending to exclude men.

Habbibu · 07/10/2007 13:45

HeadNerd - I don't think I'd advise mooncups on the head. Could be awfully messy...

2hot2cook · 07/10/2007 13:46

threadykruegar;
do you know you type beautifully.

OP posts:
Habbibu · 07/10/2007 13:47

Oh 2hot - now I'm sad again. Seriously - your husband wouldn't "allow" you to have any male friends? I cannot understand this - what year does he think it is?

ThreadyKrueger · 07/10/2007 13:48

Do you mean that my slender fingers flit elegently over the keyboard, or that I have (for a wonder) managed to avoid any typing errors in my last post?

2hot2cook · 07/10/2007 13:57

habbibu;
oh, dh is one of these men that think men and women cant ever be "friends" you know, thinks theres always something more going on.? im just used to it now.

threadykruegar;
both.

OP posts:
Habbibu · 07/10/2007 14:09

2hot - that explains a lot, but please don't let his hangups colour what you do, and whether you feel it's ok to talk to men or women here. I'm sure that none of the men here remotely fancy me (except if UQD has got all excited by me getting on my linguistic high horse on the "aunt/ant" thread).

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 07/10/2007 14:25

2hot2cook, I think it's really sad that you can't have any male friends, of course DP thinks all my male friends secretly have major crushes on me, but then, they are only human.

meowmix · 07/10/2007 14:54

did I just slip through time back to the 50s?

But no 2h2c you're right. Men should just smell and be butch, scratch themselves and hit women. Us females, being weak, should be embarrassed by our bodies and emotions, never enjoy sex and have no money of our own. On the plus side we'll be fing good at washing and jam making.

god you've annoyed me.

meowmix · 07/10/2007 14:57

sorry that was unfair, but really...

when your DH says he doesn't want you to have male friends who doesn't he trust - you because you're a weak woman who will fall for the first man you speak to outide wedlock or his fellow men because they are just unable to control their urges..... either way what a terrible way to think about people.

3andnogore · 07/10/2007 15:26

2hot, you say " but I don't know them (men)"...but well, you probably don't know most of teh women here, neither...and ,I think it was, dh1 has also pointed out that the type of men posting on here are more likely to be the kind that is more sensitive and more interested in parental issues and have no need to go through the "natural macho rituals" to feel manly....indeed, I think a man that embraces parenting is the most manly kind of man there is...just not the macho loud kind of way

Honestly, I really do NOT understand why you keep saying that a change of name would change things...so, if this was parent net you would refrain of posting certain things, I assume you mean...well....now you are familiar with the typical posters of mumsnet, surely it's easy enough to just accept that in your case you therefore should refrain from posting those things you would not be happy to post on parent net...simple really, isn't it?

2hot2cook · 07/10/2007 15:40

MEOWMIX; our life really isnt that bad. dh has set ideas about male/female roles but hes not horrible. (im not chained to the kitchen sink!)
i have lots of friends, just not male ones.
tbh, i would have no problem having male friends but would never discuss much with them. prefer talking to women, thats all.

OP posts:
2hot2cook · 07/10/2007 15:45

3ANDNOGORE; i would never post anything on here that was really personal tbh.
but lots of women do.
i know its impossible to have a "women only" website and agree with what you say.

OP posts: