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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

aibu to think mn should be for mums and not dads.

882 replies

2hot2cook · 06/10/2007 12:39

id like to think that when i come on here for a quick chat im talking to other women. ive noticed some men on here and thats actually putting me off. some of the topics we talk about are very intimate. i cant understand why men would want to come on this website, maybe the name should be changed to parentnet. aibu.

OP posts:
MadamePlatypus · 08/10/2007 11:04

If that is what you think then this obviously isn't the site for you.

Habbibu · 08/10/2007 11:05

2hot - stay here and have virtual male friends! It'll be fun...

harleyweendemon · 08/10/2007 11:10

yabu

lilibet · 08/10/2007 11:33

yes 2hot, I may not agree with you on this but you really have to stay here.

anyone who can keep coming back with posts after all the abuse and vitriol that has flown your way (including some from me!! )really belongs here.

there are hundreds of things that you can talk about on here and you may never even 'see' a man.

anyhow, someone tell me to sod off and revise................

DoctorFrankenSquonk · 08/10/2007 11:44

sod off and revise

ashadasher · 08/10/2007 11:49

i like the idea that this site is mostly mums but i wouldnt want it to be enforced as women only. i am new here but from what ive seen its about people being able to give each other advice (and no small amount of entertainment) - if i wanted advice on breastfeeding or labour then a mum is probably going to be able to best understand my point of view. still, if i needed advice on mobile phones or cars then id probably appreciate the men.

seems like an odd thing to get worked up about though.

LyraSilvertongue · 08/10/2007 12:55

Great post Tribpot.
2hot, I guess if you've never had male friends that explains why you feel uncomfortable chatting to men on MN. I suggest you try it - you may find you like it.
I've always had male friends. Often I've found them easier to get on with than women.

prettybird · 08/10/2007 13:19

2h2h - maybe you're right - epscially after lililil threatened to acution him off on here!

2hot2cook · 08/10/2007 13:29

habbibu; nice idea, "virtual male friends" not sure what id talk about with them.?

my life living like the amish. actually only for the fact that i dont make my cloths out of old curtains, i probably do live like them.

OP posts:
Capers · 08/10/2007 13:54

I don't think we're talking about 16 year old boys here. Most of these men have witnessed child-birth live and close-up at the yucky-end. They've been sent out to buy Maternity pads and savoy cabbage within hours of bringing home their baby. Many have seen their former play-things inflate to a size where they concede less is infact more, only to be defused by a terrifying plastic pumping devise, their milky contents to sit bottle against can with their beer in the fridge. And yet they still love us.

There's no degree of intimacy we can obtain on here that will come close to what they've already shared in.
I welcome Dads - they've earned their place.

HappyDaddy · 08/10/2007 13:57

Hello 2hot2cook, thanks for starting a thread that's had me laughing my manly balls off.

I love this site, my DW knows I love this site. She's kind enough to say "You're still a man to me, even if you do talk to ladies on the interweb". She's so supportive and it's great.

I'm off to do some sewing, ttfn.

stressteddy · 08/10/2007 14:02

I haven't read all of this thread so apologies if I am repeating what someone else has said. My dh doesn't use this site, but I have thought about this before and if something (God forbid) were to happen to me then I would be very happy with him being on here to get support, advice, guidance, a laugh etc from others in the same boat. He would find it quite hard looking after ds alone and I would want him to have all the help he can get
At the moment he has lots of fellow mums and dads at work and they seem to talk babies all day anyway so he has no need for this forum

DaDaDa · 08/10/2007 14:42

This thread has fair warmed my cockles. I'm surprised there hasn't been any support for the OP as I've heard that view before.

Some men just have more in common with women than blokey blokes. A lot of my closest RL friends are women, but mostly from before I met DW (not that she's the jealous sort, it's just worked out that way). Now that I'm a Dad I've got more in common with fellow parents and this is the best parenting message board; great advice, scathing wit, sheer silliness. No bloody tickers.

My DW is away all week so I'll be looking after DS, taking him to the CM and working, picking him up and making his tea, bathing and putting him to bed. All the things any working parent has to do.

Why wouldn't I feel at home here?

Many of us have unequivocally male nicknames or state so on our profile specifically so no one falls into our evil clutches unwittingly thinks we're women, which I think is a reasonable concession. I don't flirt on here to any greater or lesser extent than I would in real life, where I also occasionally talk to women.

To be honest I think it's a bit sad (if strangely gratifying when it's yourself ) that if a man posts about a problem his DP or child has he's virtually greeted with trumpets, a ticker tape parade and a chorus of 'Oh you're wonderful, your DP's really lucky'. What, for vaguely giving a toss? Is that really so unusual?

Habbibu · 08/10/2007 14:47

2hot - I agree with lilibet - stay. You can talk to your virtual male friends about anything you like. I'm hotly debating accent and standard languages on another thread with a "virtual male" (sorry, UQD!). Stick around and have fun - you've got guts and you are very polite!

HappyDaddy · 08/10/2007 14:47

DaDaDa, I agree. We're constantly told we should be more involved, then when we are we're treated like martyrs or saviours. Or even weirdos or non-manly men.

DoctorFrankenSquonk · 08/10/2007 14:49

anyway, how do you know we're not all hairy arsed trucker men?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/10/2007 14:54

HD!!! HOw the divil are you?

prettybird · 08/10/2007 14:55

Happydaddy - my dh (dh1) was making the same point earlier. He finds it really annoying that people (women) alwys make a big thing about him being involved - yet simultaneously claiming that men are never interested ?????

HappyDaddy · 08/10/2007 14:58

I'm grand VVVQV, you?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/10/2007 15:02

Excellent ta! I havent seen you about much.....you havent been dabbling in real life have you???

HappyDaddy · 08/10/2007 15:08

Nah, I just haven't seen many MN threads worth messing up.

2hot2cook · 08/10/2007 15:55

happydaddy;

thats ok, i've actually had a real laugh on here myself.

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 08/10/2007 16:34

Don't tell dh you replied to me, he'll think you're man hunting.

GodzillasHorriblyHairyBumcheek · 08/10/2007 21:54

Lol...just noticed you were all still here, and the last few posts reminded me that my dh thinks i am probably talking to a bunch of teenage boys and everyone on here is probably not who they claim to be. That would include me then! I was wondering how come i was sprouting bumfluff and having wet dreams....

Tmi?

prettybird · 08/10/2007 22:14

Didn't you know that we are all hairy truckers and that meet-ups where we actually get together and meet-up (such as the recent girlie lunch in Edinburgh, where much pink bubbly was consumed ) are actually conventions of hairy truckers?!