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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Devastated DC will miss first day of reception

63 replies

Callalilyponder · 02/09/2020 17:39

DC has started with a temperature and cough today, the day before she is due to start school. She will miss her first day of reception, probably longer. She's quite a shy child and not many of her nursery friends are going to her new school.

Aibu to be devastated and think that it will effect her settling in and making friends? Not to mention her confidence?

OP posts:

DysonFury · 02/09/2020 19:10

Devastated?

blue25 · 02/09/2020 19:11

Devastated? That’s really OTT. She’ll cope and the world won’t end.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/09/2020 19:14

Try not to worry. My DD missed a month of Reception. The second day she came home clutching a party invitation. Birthday girl was adamant new girl had to come... The party was that weekend.

Since then DDs have been to several schools (joys of Military life) and always come out with a new friend on Day 1.

Hopefully it's just a minor bug and she can attend school on Monday.

ImaSababa · 02/09/2020 19:17

"Devastated" is for tragedies and deaths, not minor stuff like this.

Bouncylion · 02/09/2020 19:24

We’re in a similar position. DD was due to start in reception tomorrow, having not been in preschool since March, and she’s woken up this morning with chicken pox 😩

We’re lucky in that her class has a small intake and 90% of those starting attended preschool with her, so she’ll know most of the children and she’s pretty confident anyway. But she was so upset when we told her that she wouldn’t be able to go as planned, and I’m pretty gutted for her as I know how much she has missed all her friends.

As others have said I think there will be a fuss made of her when she does start. We actually emailed her teacher today to introduce ourselves and DD a bit. Is that a possibility for you?

Decentsalnotime · 02/09/2020 19:31

@Kaktus

Where does it say she has had a negative test?!

Furthermore, you can have a negative test, and an hour later contract it. You are negative at the point the test is taken. That very minute. Not post test.

The OP’s child is showing two of the most common symptoms. A day off is insufficient

AGoatAteIt · 02/09/2020 19:34

It’s a shame but you’re being a bit dramatic to be devastated by it- she will be fine and this won’t have a bearing on her making friends long term.

Hope she’s better soon and you can put a positive spin on it for her so she doesn’t end up as anxious as you are about it.

Bollss · 02/09/2020 19:34

[quote Decentsalnotime]@Kaktus

Where does it say she has had a negative test?!

Furthermore, you can have a negative test, and an hour later contract it. You are negative at the point the test is taken. That very minute. Not post test.

The OP’s child is showing two of the most common symptoms. A day off is insufficient[/quote]
It's not insufficient If she gets a negative result.

Decentsalnotime · 02/09/2020 19:39

It is if she’s showing symptoms post test.

THE OP MAKES NO REFERENCE AT ALL TO A TEST!

x2boys · 02/09/2020 19:48

A lot of schools phase reception children over a few weeks anyway,back when I started reception in the 70,s children in my school started the term they turned five so some kids started in September ,some after Xmas and some after Easter ,I don't recall it being a problem or anyone being left behind .

Hopeisnotastrategy · 02/09/2020 19:48

"I'm a little bit upset but we'll get over it". Fine.

"I'm devastated," No, get a grip, for goodness' sake.

When you have a child, you need to step up a generation overnight. It's down to you to be the adult for your child and calm and steer them, not wind them up to high doh. There's only room for one child in your relationship and it had better not be you.

To be fair it's not just you OP that I'm talking about. I wish so many posters on MN would just stop being such drama queens, especially in the current situation. It really matters - you are their world and they will be steered by you. Be a calm and reassuring presence in their life, it will pay dividends.

nosswith · 02/09/2020 19:50

Devastated? Unless that was said to get people to read this thread, you need help and support.

MarcelineMissouri · 02/09/2020 19:52

I put Yabu because it will not impact her reception experience. You are not bu to feel that way though. My eldest missed his first few days of reception a few years ago due to a very poorly timed sick bug - I couldn’t believe it and I too felt devastated that he was missing the start of school like that. But he didn’t care, and when he was better he ran in perfectly happily and loved it.

Get her tested - results come back usually within 24 hours. Chances are it is not Covid and she will be able to start school shortly x

Aragog · 02/09/2020 19:55

[quote Decentsalnotime]@Kaktus

Where does it say she has had a negative test?!

Furthermore, you can have a negative test, and an hour later contract it. You are negative at the point the test is taken. That very minute. Not post test.

The OP’s child is showing two of the most common symptoms. A day off is insufficient[/quote]
Under the 'rules' for having symptoms:

She should have a test within 5 days of having symptoms.

If the test return is negative she can go to school, if feeling well enough.

If the test return is positive she can go to school 10 days after symptoms started, but only if the symptoms have gone.

The whole household should now be in self isolation at home, until a test result comes back negative.

If no test is taken your DC and the whole household should self isolate for 14 days from the start of symptoms.

Decentsalnotime · 02/09/2020 19:58

@Aragog

I think fact OP has not Returned would indicate that perhaps this has dawned on her. The 1 day may actually be a fortnight

lifesalongsong · 02/09/2020 19:59

If this has devastated you you're going to need to find some way to survive the next 14 years of school. You are totally overreacting, nothing bad will happen to any child who misses their first day of school.

Kaktus · 02/09/2020 20:02

[quote Decentsalnotime]@Kaktus

Where does it say she has had a negative test?!

Furthermore, you can have a negative test, and an hour later contract it. You are negative at the point the test is taken. That very minute. Not post test.

The OP’s child is showing two of the most common symptoms. A day off is insufficient[/quote]
It doesn’t. It also doesn’t say she’s had a positive one.
So assuming the OP is aware that if her child has symptoms then she needs a test, it’s likely she will be getting a test.
If the test is negative, she can start school as soon as she feels well.
The fact that she could contract it on the way home from the test centre is completely irrelevant. If she has a negative test, under the guidance they can stop isolating as soon as the child feels well.

Thisismytimetoshine · 02/09/2020 20:05

Most reception classes (pre Covid, anyway) had staggered start times, it was two weeks before the entire class were all in together.
She will be absolutely fine.

Decentsalnotime · 02/09/2020 20:06

Would the OP not mention a test?

I suspect that it’s omission means that no test has been or is on the agenda

Parker231 · 02/09/2020 20:07

We moved DT’s to a different school six weeks into Reception. They settled in fine at the new school. With Covid concerns it’s likely children will be in and out school more frequently this term so she won’t miss anything.

Bollss · 02/09/2020 20:07

@Decentsalnotime

Would the OP not mention a test?

I suspect that it’s omission means that no test has been or is on the agenda

Omg whys that covid police? Maybe she just didn't write it because it's so fucking obvious that she will get one?

Decentsalnotime · 02/09/2020 20:10

1WildTeaParty · 02/09/2020 20:11

She will be fine OP.

In some ways, starting later might well be better. She will be special - and individual. (At her age, this is how you think and feel anyway. They all think as individuals - and don't feel like a pack for quite a while. Teachers spend ages teaching them that instructions to the class are for each one of them!)

Starting reception with many other amateurs is hard.

It is actually easier to go alongside those who know what is expected and what to do.

UndertheCedartree · 02/09/2020 20:13

Aww...poor thing - hope she feels better soon. My DD didn't start school til halfway through Y1. She settled in in no time and had lots of friends very quickly.

Is she starting half days initially? You can still ask for her to do half days when she starts if it will help her settle in.

Original poster

Callalilyponder · 02/09/2020 20:55

We are booked in for a test tomorrow. She will be off tomorrow and Friday. Whether she is in next week will depend on the test results and how she is feeling.

Thankyou for the responses. Its good to know that others would also be gutted, and that other LOs in similar situations settled in well.

I was generally really upset about this, but I'm quite glad people think I'm overreacting. I worried that everyone would have solid friendship groups formed and she would be left out but this thread has helped me to see that's unlikely to be the case at such a young age.

I've obviously not let her know how I feel about the situation. It's a really good idea to contact the teacher and we may do this depending how long she ends up being off.

OP posts:

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