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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to persuade DP to go out tonight?

31 replies

CoralFish · 02/09/2020 15:14

He's supposed to be heading to a friend's for poker night.

I have been sneezing constantly for the past two days. I think it's an allergy thing but I don't usually hayfever or anything this so it's a bit weird.

Today I have additional symptoms - itchy eyes, scratchy throat and an itchy/swollen feeling tongue. I still think it's allergies but it could be a cold. No cough. temperature, or other symptoms of any kind. I lost my sense of smell and taste back in March (presumably Covid) and it hasn't fully returned.

DP thinks I am 'ill' and he therefore shouldn't go. NHS symptom checker says it's 'unlikely' I have Covid. I am fairly sure I don't have Covid but obviously I don't know this for certain.

OP posts:

Loopylou6 · 02/09/2020 15:17

Well if you do have it, then your dh going out with his friends will put them at risk to.

doriscartwheel · 02/09/2020 15:26

I think you should get a covid test

borntohula · 02/09/2020 15:27

@Loopylou6

Well if you do have it, then your dh going out with his friends will put them at risk to.

No shit...

picklemewalnuts · 02/09/2020 15:29

So it could be a resurgence of the CV you may have had in March.
Or an allergy
Or a different cold.

If he mixes with his friends, he could share with them any of the above.

They would then need to self isolate, potentially miss work, potentially take the virus unknowingly to someone vulnerable.

What do you think he should do?

borntohula · 02/09/2020 15:29

I have a runny nose. Should I have called in sick 'just in case?'

Original poster

CoralFish · 02/09/2020 15:30

@doriscartwheel

I think you should get a covid test

Well I won't get a test and the result in the next hour and a half which is when DP would need to leave to get to his friend's.

OP posts:

picklemewalnuts · 02/09/2020 15:31

That would depend hula, on what your job is. What does the Covid policy's at work say?

picklemewalnuts · 02/09/2020 15:32

Oh well, I'd send him then. It won't be infectious unless you've had a positive test back before he goes.

nosswith · 02/09/2020 15:33

Even if it is just a cold, why inflict it on others, or get them worried something could be Covid 19? It is not an essential thing even in the Waitrose definition for him to go.

borntohula · 02/09/2020 15:34

@picklemewalnuts the policy everywhere is 'do not enter with symptoms of covid'. From OP's description, she doesn't have symptoms of covid. Also, if you think anyone is getting away with not turning up to work because of a runny nose... 😂

Original poster

CoralFish · 02/09/2020 15:34

@picklemewalnuts

So it could be a resurgence of the CV you may have had in March. Or an allergy Or a different cold.

If he mixes with his friends, he could share with them any of the above.

They would then need to self isolate, potentially miss work, potentially take the virus unknowingly to someone vulnerable.

What do you think he should do?

I think I've been quite clear.

I don't have Covid symptoms according to NHS symptom tracker. I think DP should go.

He thinks he shouldn't (for the exact reasons you mention) but would obviously like to go. He is making me second guess myself so I am checking in with a bunch of internet strangers to gather more views.

OP posts:

minnieok · 02/09/2020 15:36

It's probably one of the myriad of colds circulating. It doesn't meet the criteria for covid testing (you need to have a new continuous cough, a fever and /or lost taste and smell (recently not 6 months ago).

I would suggest he calls his friends, alerts them that you have the symptoms of a normal cold and give them the option to say don't come. We cannot hide all year, and these simply aren't the symptoms but if one of the players is vulnerable etc they may be extra cautious

AmelieTaylor · 02/09/2020 15:37

It's going to be a bloody long winter isn't it.

I think being prepared to get a Covid test is going to be very important, because we can't assume every cough/sore throat/headache is Covid, but at the same time we can't afford to be blasé either.

Many are not going to feel ok about calling in 'isolating' as they know employers are going to be unimpressed/hold it against them or they're going to lose money.

Social Events are going to be 'Do we/Don't we' go if we have the slightest thing that could be an issue.

I'm dreading the decision making for myself and I'm incredulous worried about how many people will justify going out with symptoms as 'just' a cold/allergy/whatever.

I don't think I've missed anything, so how can he be having a poker night within the guidelines? if he's in England at least, he can't be! So maybe he's using your illness as the excuse he needs to back out?

katy1213 · 02/09/2020 15:44

I'm sure if his friends were consulted, they'd prefer your husband to stay home.

Original poster

CoralFish · 02/09/2020 15:44

@AmelieTaylor

It's going to be a bloody long winter isn't it.

I think being prepared to get a Covid test is going to be very important, because we can't assume every cough/sore throat/headache is Covid, but at the same time we can't afford to be blasé either.

Many are not going to feel ok about calling in 'isolating' as they know employers are going to be unimpressed/hold it against them or they're going to lose money.

Social Events are going to be 'Do we/Don't we' go if we have the slightest thing that could be an issue.

I'm dreading the decision making for myself and I'm incredulous worried about how many people will justify going out with symptoms as 'just' a cold/allergy/whatever.

All within guidelines, I promise: DP (one household) Three people who live together and one person who lives alone and 'bubbled' with them (counts as one household) = two households, five people in total

Knowing DP he'll be hand sanitising after every hand...

OP posts:

AmelieTaylor · 02/09/2020 15:52

@CoralFish

It's good it's only the two household (including bubble) but my belief is that you're still supposed to socially distance yourself are you not? And they cannot do that while playing poker!

I'm not getting at you or DH, I'm just sitting my thoughts out really.

I have been home and only seen one elderly relative (to deliver shopping) since February. I'm back at work now and so I guess I'm just trying to work out my thoughts in this crazy new world. Staying home was easier! I went to a friends at the weekend (before we all had to return to work, we figured it was the lowest risk time to meet up) but we were in the garden & I took my own drinks. It was so weird not to hug them & sit in the kitchen drinking tea/making lunch etc.

I don't blame him. - but the snacks will taste revolting 🤮

IsAnybodyListening · 02/09/2020 15:54

Have you eaten fruit today? I have oral allergy syndrome and get the same reaction from fruit. Had it since a small child, but it can develop as an adult.

FippertyGibbett · 02/09/2020 15:54

No, you should get a test and both isolate until you get the result.

fifteenisthemagicnumber · 02/09/2020 16:00

@FippertyGibbett why should they get tests when neither of them have symptoms of COVID?

FippertyGibbett · 02/09/2020 16:03

Because lots of people who have had Covid have not had the recognised symptoms, and I keep seeing a message from the government on Facebook to get a test if you are ill. They do not specify symptoms.
I will not be answering again.

Original poster

CoralFish · 02/09/2020 16:04

He's definitely not going now. He doesn't trust his friends to socially distance so he won't risk it.

I think @AmelieTaylor is right and he didn't want to go anyway!

OP posts:

picklemewalnuts · 02/09/2020 16:19

The guidance currently says to try to limit the number of people you see, and to continue to socially distance with those outside your household.

And that's assuming people are well.

I'll be avoiding people with sniffles this winter (though truth be told, I'll be avoiding people full stop).

FooFighter99 · 02/09/2020 16:25

@doriscartwheel

I think you should get a covid test

There is no point getting a test if you don't have symptoms because it will 9/10 come back negative

OP, it sounds like allergies, i was the same at the weekend and had to dose up on antihistamines - tell your DH not to worry

Bananacloud · 02/09/2020 16:34

Ok, I’m gonna call this a “stupid post”!

fifteenisthemagicnumber · 02/09/2020 16:37

@FippertyGibbett

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