To feel dishwasher-related FURY

[DemolitionBarbie]

Plates go in the dishwasher, not on it. Is it that hard?

If you leave things on it, it just makes a further job to be done later. You're so fucking close to completing the job. Just put the freaking things IN there rather than leaving them to go dry and cruddy and stink the place out.

I thought it was just DH who did it, but we just had a weekend with his family and the whole lot do it. The side gets cluttered with dirty things and you have to start each meal prep by clearing up a load of dirty things.

AIBU? Is it normal to just dump things on the side to be sorted at an unspecified later point? Am I anally retentive to be so bothered by it?

DH does this. Puts them in the sink. The dishwasher is next to the bloody sink.
I went nuclear over a small collection of crap that I had to move before I could wash my hands the other week. He seems to have got the message now 😂

It honestly makes me want to go full bunny boiler and dump them in his bed, apart from it's my bed too

Its unloading the dishwasher that gets me.
If you've gone to the bother of getting the stuff out of the dishwasher (clean!) why oh why do you dump everything on the table?? Just put it in the fecking cupboard.

@DemolitionBarbie

It honestly makes me want to go full bunny boiler and dump them in his bed, apart from it's my bed too

This made me laugh 🤣

I leave it wide open after putting my own plate in - as a subtle hint

Just about trained DH on this, now starting on my 12 year old. I have a feeling she will be a tougher nut to crack.

Here's what I don't get - DH always leaves plates in the sink. It makes me crazy as the first thing I do every morning is to take them out of the sink.

Just what is the logic?

I'm going against the grain here and saying I prefer to load it all up at once. If everyone puts things in as they go along, I end up having to pull stuff out and rearrange it, especially on the top shelf. Once I know exactly what needs to go in I can get it all in Tetris style. Having to dig in and move around dirty stuff is more annoying to me.

Agree with Meruem. I’ve actually asked DH to stop putting stuff in the dishwasher and leave it on the side as otherwise I can’t stack it properly. I admit I’m ridiculous about efficient dishwasher stacking though and will sometimes spend 5 minutes rearranging so as to get that last mug in...

@ilovemydogandMrObama

Here's what I don't get - DH always leaves plates in the sink. It makes me crazy as the first thing I do every morning is to take them out of the sink.

Just what is the logic?

Does he do ANYTHING else with them other than put in the sink, ie after you have taken them out does he then put them in the dishwasher, wash them up etc? If not, then putting them in the sink 'completes' the job for him. You have to change this, so that it's not you taking them out of the sink and dealing with them.

I actually don't mind piling up the dishes on top and a PP said doing it all at once.

Dishes in the sink is unforgivable. My family does this despite being told so many times not to.

And yeah if I hadn’t asked him to leave stuff on the side, it would be really annoying if he did.

The job of my dishwasher is to wash dishes BUT also to keep the kitchen counter and table tidy.

DD has started putting stuff above the dishwasher. Drives me spare.

DH does this too. Puts his plate or whatever on the worktop directly above the dishwasher. Then gets annoyed with me when he puts his clean glass, that he plans on using again, on the draining board and I put it in the dishwasher! He can’t seem to work out that putting his dirty stuff straight in the dishwasher and keeping his glass away from the sink will stop me loosing my shit!

DH does this. It’s annoying. He once tried to tell me his ex was being unreasonable when she used to object to this, but it may be one of the few things she was totally reasonable about.

Hate this. Just put them in and turn it on, how hard is it?!
The reason ours end up in the sink is the dishwasher hasn't been emptied so can't put them in as we go along. Does my nut in, don't have pots and pans to cook with as everything still dirty from last night. I do all the cooking, DH can't even move the plates from the table to the sink, never mind the dishwasher which is his 'chore'.

Constant point of argument in our house. Refuse to give in and do it myself as otherwise I'd be doing everything except cutting the grass.

Stay strong OP

I also agree with Merum if you load as your go along, you're faced with rearranging or lower throughput as the loading will be inefficient. I want dishes awaiting loading into the dishwasher to be left nearby to be loaded all in one go, far easier.

What I hate is them being left in the sink so they end up full of putrid water. Who on earth thinks that is being helpful?

I think they don't do it because they might (God forbid) find that the dishwasher needs emptying and they wouldn't want to do that. My DH has been known to put a dirty plate in with the clean dishes

@Chasingsquirrels - Does he do ANYTHING else with them other than put in the sink, ie after you have taken them out does he then put them in the dishwasher, wash them up etc? If not, then putting them in the sink 'completes' the job for him. You have to change this, so that it's not you taking them out of the sink and dealing with them.

He does rinse them, and he will empty the dishwasher but at the moment I am working at home and he's doing nights, so am trying to focus on not getting into a huge row about domestics.

But of course you're right - he needs a reboot...

I don't mind rearranging. Maybe it's about counter space? I can't really cook with a cluttered surface but in a bigger kitchen it might be less of an issue.

I do this. I went on dishwasher strike a couple of months back because every time I put something in there DH would huff at me and move it. I have nothing to do with the fucker anymore (the dishwasher that is, not DH)

I got my first ever dishwasher for my birthday this year (33!) and I wouldn't care if plates were left anywhere else, just knowing I don't have to wash them up!! best present ever!

@DemolitionBarbie

Plates go in the dishwasher, not on it. Is it that hard?

If you leave things on it, it just makes a further job to be done later. You're so fucking close to completing the job. Just put the freaking things IN there rather than leaving them to go dry and cruddy and stink the place out.

I thought it was just DH who did it, but we just had a weekend with his family and the whole lot do it. The side gets cluttered with dirty things and you have to start each meal prep by clearing up a load of dirty things.

AIBU? Is it normal to just dump things on the side to be sorted at an unspecified later point? Am I anally retentive to be so bothered by it?

No they don't go on it.

They go on the counter opposite it, with food and debris still on them.

Or still on the dining table.

Sheesh, do you know NOTHING???

@itshissister I've been schooled

They are left on the side, not near the dishwasher because there is a glass in the way on the side by the dishwasher.

They don't sit in the sink to congeal because there is already a container in the sink 'soaking' instead of being rinsed for the recycling.