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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel dishwasher-related FURY

49 replies

DemolitionBarbie · 02/09/2020 13:30

Plates go in the dishwasher, not on it. Is it that hard?

If you leave things on it, it just makes a further job to be done later. You're so fucking close to completing the job. Just put the freaking things IN there rather than leaving them to go dry and cruddy and stink the place out.

I thought it was just DH who did it, but we just had a weekend with his family and the whole lot do it. The side gets cluttered with dirty things and you have to start each meal prep by clearing up a load of dirty things.

AIBU? Is it normal to just dump things on the side to be sorted at an unspecified later point? Am I anally retentive to be so bothered by it?

OP posts:

CigarsofthePharoahs · 02/09/2020 15:09

Could be worse.
He could leave rubbish on top of the bin instead of putting it in. So when you want to actually use the bin you have to move the rubbish first.
Ds1 took to leaving a used plate on the bin. I don't know why, it's right next to a worktop. Ds2 came along and pushed the foot pedal for the bin without looking so I made ds1 spend ten minutes with a dustpan and brush cleaning up the mess.
DH's brain regularly defaults to flat surface = put something on it.

Cockadoodledooo · 02/09/2020 15:16

Oh YANBU in the slightest! Pisses me right off!

TorgosPizza · 02/09/2020 15:17

I'm very particular about how things are loaded into the dishwasher (to fit as much as possible and because certain things need to go in a certain way), and just about anything DH puts in gets rearranged, so I don't complain.

I do get annoyed when he does things like leave a tiny bit of milk in the bottom of a glass, where it settles into the divot and hardens into something the dishwasher won't remove without "help". Or when he leaves the curly flat whisk coated in some type of sauce to dry and harden. Just rinse the darn things while it's still easy to do!!

nosswith · 02/09/2020 15:20

YABU.

Next you'll be expecting your DH to find your clitoris without directions!!!!

Original poster

DemolitionBarbie · 02/09/2020 15:20

@CigarsofthePharoahs That's definitely worse than the side

OP posts:

Beachcomber · 02/09/2020 15:24

YANBU

DH commits the ultimate sin of clearing the table only to pile things into the sink usually with cold greasy water on them.
Just why?
He inevitably forgets to do anything more about them and I end up fishing them out and then having to clean the greasy basin and sink so that I can get the dishwasher on.

Makes me fucking furious.

Especially when he's also hung the tea towel on a chair miles away from the sink rather than leave it on oven door which is next to the sink.

I know these are small things really but they chip away at the love and respect in a relationship Chinese water torture style.

wowfudge · 02/09/2020 15:25

Argh - this thread has reminded me that when we go back to the office, it will be back to the hell that is all the people incapable of putting anything in the frigging dishwasher who instead dump stuff in the sink. You can literally stand on the same spot and put it in the dishwasher instead.

nosswith · 02/09/2020 15:30

wowfudge so you'll be in favour of wfh and only going in the office once a week or so?

Beachcomber · 02/09/2020 15:31

Also I would like to know why you would jam large dinner plates into the rack clearly designed for small side plates when you do bother to put plates in the dishwasher.

You know so that they are wedged in at weird angles and up against each other and therefore don't get washed properly. Plus they somehow take up more space like that.
Use the big wide spaced rack for crying out loud.
It's Not Hard.

NoSquirrels · 02/09/2020 15:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotAKaren · 02/09/2020 15:35

Agreed. Must be one of the most infuriating things in many homes, dishes left on the side, in the sink or in the worktop above the dishwasher. JUST PUT STUFF IN THE DISHWASHER

FippertyGibbett · 02/09/2020 15:55

I agree.
Along with not replacing the loo roll and a million other things 😡😡😡

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 02/09/2020 16:00

@nosswith

...and if you ask "do you know where it is..."

You get the reply

"Ummm, where did you last have it? "

NearlyGranny · 02/09/2020 16:07

Granny cakes, I feel your pain... Dirty things wedged in with the clean instead of the overnight load being emptied.

Stuff in the sink. Huffs and puffs about 'controlling' him if I ask him to pop it straight in because it's loading when he's about to dump it in the sink again.

We also had dirty clothes on top of the laundry basket (because it's soooo hard to lift a wicker lid?) and rubbish on top of the bin lid.

I called him Mr 90% because he could never finish the job. 😉

OldQueen1969 · 02/09/2020 16:08

We don't have a dishwasher - sink full of dirty crocks and cold sludgy water is the bain of my life. I live in a house share of 6 adults, my DP and I are the "parental" figures as they are all in their 20s and 30s and we are just over 50. We have too much crockery and pans and utensils and the habit is forming for every fork in the house to be in the sink before someone has to was one - ONE - up because they need to eat.....

My housemates are lovely creative hippy types, mainly vegan apart from us and we are reasonably laid back.

However, I had to have a stern but gentle chat with them after I found myself having to fucking hoover the hob at the weekend after several days of marathon rice based meal cooking and having to discard a fuckton of almost empty bottles and containers standing alongside their newly opened counterparts...... touch wood things have been better since..... mentioning insects, vermin and food poisoning in an oh so concerned for their well-being manner seemed to to the trick. If there is a next time, I might do it twirling a meat cleaver.......

Abitofalark · 02/09/2020 16:09

When I shared a house it used to infuriate me that people would always put a teaspoon into the sink rather than the dishwasher. It's only a teaspoon!

The point of a dishwasher for me is to keep the kitchen looking tidy as much as to wash the dishes.

randomchap · 02/09/2020 16:25

I stack dirty dishes on the counter above the dishwasher and only fill it when I have a full load. That bit of the kitchen isn't close to where I prepare food so it doesn't get in the way and I don't have to rearrange things to fit it all in. Also the DC are too young to fill the dishwasher but they are perfectly capable of leaving dirty crockery on the counter.

fifteenisthemagicnumber · 02/09/2020 16:28

I regularly lose my shit with DH as he puts dirty dishes into the sink, which is right next to the dishwasher. He doesn't even scrape the food waste off them into the bin, which is under the sink. I swear I may divorce him for this reason one day

BlankTimes · 02/09/2020 17:03

Give all your collective DHs and DPs a link to this article

mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/

Sh05 · 02/09/2020 17:12

Ohy god, my oh does this. The dishwasher is ready waiting for your dishes but he still lines them up on the worktop. If I've been out I come home to used cups along the whole workspace.
Place them in the sink atleast!

Flymetothetoon · 02/09/2020 17:22

@grannycake

I think they don't do it because they might (God forbid) find that the dishwasher needs emptying and they wouldn't want to do that. My DH has been known to put a dirty plate in with the clean dishes

Exactly this! This used to drive me bonkers but we no longer have a dishwasher so not an issue anymore.

wowfudge · 02/09/2020 17:32

randomchap - just why?! I never have to rearrange things to fit in. Well, only the stuff DP appears to throw in there from time to time. One of the major advantages of a dishwasher is that dirty stuff is out of sight.

nosswith too right - and we'll have a one person in the kitchen at a time rule, no making a drink for anyone else, etc. I'm probably going to take a flask and stay the hell out of there.

LakieLady · 02/09/2020 17:54

My DH has been known to put a dirty plate in with the clean dishes

So does mine. I think he does it in the hope that I will stop expecting him to put stuff in the dishwasher. But I won't - ever!

He leaves things "to soak" in the sink and it makes me .

randomchap · 02/09/2020 18:04

@wowfudge

nosswith too right - and we'll have a one person in the kitchen at a time rule, no making a drink for anyone else, etc. I'm probably going to take a flask and stay the hell out of there.

Loads of reasons; because it's an easy job for the DC to take their dirty dishes to the counter.

It's also a habit we got into when we had a lodger who was terrible at loading the dishwasher. Bowls went in ()()() instead of the correct ((((( stacking. My wife would also put things in wrong, knives pointing up etc, so it became far less annoying for me for everyone to leave their dirty things in one place and I'd stack the dishwasher to my exacting standards.

When I'm cooking and have finished with something I find it easier just to put used implements and dishes quickly on the counter rather than in the dishwasher. The I can do a proper job of emptying and filling after we've eaten.

When DC are older they will be taught the right way to fill it.

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