To think my neighbour is an idiot

[Happyinmyownworld]

He lives opposite. 40s. Was in a same sex relationship with a pensioner. They split. He now lives alone. I parked my car on the road outside his house legally years ago. He swore at me and a male member of my family had words with him about it being perfectly legal and not to speak to a women like that again. The police came around. The police agreed with us and it ended. He's remained silent for years but he's a typical curtain twitcher. Stuck a note on my dad's friends work van too years ago. My dad's friends 6ft 7 and a gentle giant. But it's like this guy thinks he can square up to anyone.

House up road is having a porch built. The chaps doing it are travellers/gypsys Working long days and keeping the street tidy. One knocked on lots of doors yesterday including mine. Perfectly polite. Left his card. Thanked us and left. Lady over the road has decided to have a drive put in. They were onto it last night bringing things around. I saw the man opposite start shouting at the man. He was trying to reassure him his wall would not be damaged. Then the stroppy git shouted I work for the council & stormed in his house. Rang his ex who came around with his new husband. They looked the workmen up and down. Slept over at his house. Used their cars to block the area around his house this morning. He's gone to work and his mum and ex are guarding the house. I took my kids out and one of the work lads spoke to my little lad about the digger. I spoke to him about this bloke and he said he was really difficult and was really rude. He said you meet people from all walks of life and should be polite. I then told him to use my drive for his truck and he was really greatful and thanked me.

I am sick of this man thinking because he works for the council he rules the world. I honestly am annoyed at how he's behaved. The people having work done have a really overgrown garden and it's nice for them to get it sorted. Now he's causing them stress.

I feel like ringing the council and asking them if he's entitled to abuse people in his role. Because he's always doing so!

@ChickensMightFly

Thanks. It's normally quiet enough but these chaps working has ruffled his feathers. They are honestly polite and really tidy. When I spoke to him he seemed really disheartened by his behaviour. He probably has to deal with judgemental people all the time because of who he is. I just believe people shouldn't be judged until they have been bad. Based on what I've seen I would let them do work for us too.

I hope the police will put him straight. They've just left his house. So hopefully he keeps out of it now. I'm happy for the people opposite. They are really nice and don't deserve him ruining their home improvements.

Thanks for your reply. I'm not curtain twitching. It's just the loud volume of shouting was hard not to hear. Ofcourse I'm not going to ignore it when it could have turned violent. He's trouble and trying to turn it onto innocent people when he kicked off over nothing.

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite

Read my other replies. Giving abit of context that's all. He's always giving people grief. Including me. So it is all of our business when he causes trouble.

I know they are gypsys because of their hair, clothes, accents and because he's told me himself he is, when he said you should respect people from all walks of life this morning. It doesn't matter to me at all that he is a gypsy. He's clearly a hard working man. The fact the idiot across the road is saying they will knock his wall down digging out a drive is an insult to him. Because tradesmen usually know what they are doing and how to do a good job. They don't just go knocking the neighbours walls down!

youre right about the harassment but his sexuality is irrelevwant you co9ud have just said ex or partner not older man etc

I would actually complain to the council for his behaviour. He is threatening people and bringing his job into it. If a member of the police started saying similar and mentioning who they worked for, the responses would be different and they could just be admin. You are representing your organisation through your actions, and you can be reprimanded and even fired for them. His work should know what he is doing. He should not under any circumstances be threatening people.

People might not like it, but that's what you sign into when you get a job these days. You represent the company, even outside of the job. Hence why they now warn you to think about what you put on social media. They can take action against you for any slander, or if you start posting offensive posts.

He sounds like a pain in the arse but 80% of what you have put on here is absolutely irrelevant, you seem to be judging him for his sexuality for a start
And I suggest you stand up to him yourself rather than getting Male relatives involved.

@GabsAlot

If I had said wife you wouldn't have reacted. So whys it any different that his ex is male? Isn't that you focusing on his sexuality?

@Hoppinggreen
Would it have made you happier if I said.

He was living with his wife but they split. But last night his wife and her new husband were over eviling the workmen?

I am sick of this man thinking because he works for the council he rules the world.

I don't think this is accurate. It is more likely that he thinks he rules the world and just uses the fact he works for the council to 'big himself up' a bit more.

The council might be interested in his behaviour and how it reflects on them, see what evidence you can gather and report him, then it will be in their hands. It is likely whoever employs him would not want him bringing up where he works as a way of throwing his weight around, getting his own way etc, doesn't look good for them, so they might want to know about it and do something to stop him.

I agree with @KeepingPlain. My son works for the council and I know they would not be happy to hear that an employee was acting in an aggressive way and boasting that he was a council employee. My son was reprimanded for making a rude gesture at another driver who cut him up on the road.

My advice would be to never get into other people's battles.

This. Anything else makes you the busybody!

He wasn't in his council van, he (presumably) wasn't wearing a council uniform or lanyard?

The council really aren't going to get involved in a petty neighbourhood dispute.

Anyway, perhaps he was quoting council rules regarding the driveway/dropped kerb etc.

I have worked for the council in a previous lifetime, but 'The Council' is quite a big employer and he could be working anywhere from the accounts department to refuse collection, so his statement 'I work for the council' means pretty much nothing unless he's a parking warden,
or whatever role that would cover what he is doing.

However, he still has to comply with the correct procedures for whatever his role is, you don't get some kind of powers of 'citizens arrest' for working there.
If he is misusing his position/ employer to establish authority over others then contact your local council and report him for it, otherwise you just have to suck it up and accept that he's just an obnoxious man that appears to be living a bit of a sad life and leave him to it.

[quote Happyinmyownworld]**@Hoppinggreen
Would it have made you happier if I said.

He was living with his wife but they split. But last night his wife and her new husband were over eviling the workmen?[/quote]
I'm not @Hoppinggreen but think the point they are making is that there was no need to reference in opening paragraph that he was previously in a same sex relationship.

All you needed to do was mention his ex-husband who used to live there and new partner coming round, at the point in the story where they appear. The other bit is unnecessary and the kind of thing my MIL says to reference someone's sexuality when it has no relevance.

Regarding the council, yes I do think they would be interested, or they ought to be, and I would contact them when am employee is behaving like that. I would frame it in a way that Mr X may need further training because of the way he speaks to people using their name to back up his rants.

I'm also mildly curious about two things...

1.) How do you know is ex is a newlywed?

2.) If you weren't curtain twitching intently, how could you see the newlyweds 'looking him up and down', from across the road?

Was in a same sex relationship

What's this got to do with anything?

Not really, I don’t much are about his sexuality but obviously you do.
You dont need to build a picture of how unpleasant he is by including irrelevant information while telling us all how lovely you are because you are nice to “gypsies”
If your neighbour is an idiot and it sounds like he is all the other stuff doesn’t matter and makes you look like you aren’t especially pleasant yourself

The relevance I can see in the OP mentioning that her neighbour was in a same-sex relationship is that all the antagonists in the house opposite would be male.
So no female to talk to, who might be more conciliatory (or not!)
And why she herself doesn't wish to confront them.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

The relevance I can see in the OP mentioning that her neighbour was in a same-sex relationship is that all the antagonists in the house opposite would be male. So no female to talk to, who might be more conciliatory (or not!) And why she herself doesn't wish to confront them.

And the fact he was a pensioner?

look a few of us have said it now op its not me thinking about it its just irrelevant

It's ok. People have gone of track completely. Not about his sexuality. Nice to gypsies? No I'm nice to people! All people unless they give me a reason. Which most don't! Why wouldn't I be nice to him? He's not robbing people. He's working long hours to earn money. I would be pissed off if he was being horrible to anyone trying to do their job.

I'm not wasting anymore time on this thread that has been completely twisted into a homophobic post.

My windows face into the street so my eyes and ears can see angry shouting outside. Ofcourse I'm going to listen. What if it got violent?

I am sure everyone has heard things outside the house before.

Thanks for the sensible replies. I am going to report him as yes he does have a council vehicle and he's an intimidating bully. Inviting men around gay or not to try intimidate men trying to work is wrong whether they are gypsy or not. Simple.

Yeah, complain to the council about him OP. Let them know he took issue with the builder next door digging too close to his wall. Don't forget to tell them he yelled at you 13 years ago and put a note on a friends car 'years ago' as well. Oh yeah!, don't leave out that you're worried the builders feeling are hurt that the neighbour doesn't trust his ability

You sound like you're loving the drama tbh. All the irrelevant detail about his life..initiating a conversation about him with the builder so you could gossip a little more. Argh! You're no better really.

@CJsGoldfish

Clearly you are an expert on people. Some people are neighbourly. I let him use my drive so he could do his job and not block the road as that arse had blocked along the front. Kindness goes a long way!

@nitsandwormsdodger

Why did you mention him being gay how is that relevant ?

Why did you mention his boyfriends age what has that got to do with you/ anything?

Why did you get a man to speak to him about his swearing at you should have been assertive yourself . sexist nonsense that rudeness is worse if said to a woman

You come across as homophobic and sexist

He sounds rude and v difficult

Apart from the parking issue non of this has anything to do with you

Absolutely agree!

[quote Happyinmyownworld]@heartsonacake

Calm down. Sorry to hear the males in your family won't look out for you. My brother reminded him of my legal right to park there. I was 18 and intimidated by him. He said I don't want to hear you've sworn at my sister like that again. I'm now 31 and very capable of sticking up for myself. But if he spoke to my children like that I would not be a shrinking violet. Not all 18 year olds no how to deal with horrible older men![/quote]
I repeat; he shouldn’t speak to anyone like that, male or female.

And if your parents didn’t teach you to stand up for yourself that is a failing on their part.

You were an adult; if you had an issue you should have dealt with it yourself rather than going down the sexist I need a man to take care of me route.

If he tells everyone he works for the Council in a threatening way that is totally unacceptable and makes the Council look bad. They should know what he is doing. Find out who to complain to and give them chapter and verse.