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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if you rely on a food bank you may need to compromise your vegan principles?

791 replies

LondonUnited · 01/09/2020 21:30

I’m a supporter of our local food bank and am on their mailing list. I received an email earlier to say that they were supporting a vegan family and were therefore asking for specific food donations, including Oatly oat milk, various nuts and seeds, specific types of beans, etc etc.

I may get flamed for this but I couldn’t help thinking that - allergies aside (and I have a milk allergic child so I do get it) - if you need a food bank to feed your family, you might need to compromise on diet slightly? For a start, Oatly Barista is lovely and all that, but Aldi or Asda oat milk is also ok and half the price. And that the odd bit of tinned fish may be easier to access from a food bank than Brazil nuts and chia seeds...

OP posts:
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ScarMatty · 02/09/2020 11:30

YANBU

Theelderscrolls · 02/09/2020 11:32

I think it's fair enough to request vegan foods, I wouldn't have a problem with donating oat milk, nuts etc.

I would be reluctant to buy the expensive branded stuff though as I'm never someone that really buys brands anyway.

Griselda1 · 02/09/2020 11:35

Oatly is not the first choice for many vegans as the by products are sold to pig farmers. They're also part owned by Blackstone and China resources.

5amonSunday · 02/09/2020 11:36

Oatly is one of the few that doesn't split in hot instant coffee. In this situation I'd happily accept a generic oat milk but I can't see the problem with asking.

For some people paying an extra 50p isn't a big deal. If it is, don't do it.

minnieok · 02/09/2020 11:41

Brand names are unreasonable - as long as the product is appropriate it is fine eg supermarket branded milk substitutes. Types of beans fair enough eg asking for black beans and butter beans because they have a glut of chickpeas and red kidney beans. As long as the the foods are vegan then that's fine

HelloMissus · 02/09/2020 11:43

Honestly this family are on the bones of their arse.
If this particularly milk brings a smile to their kids faces - rather than tears because they don’t like that other cheap one then the job’s a good un.
And yes maybe there’s a conversation to be had about teaching kids to eat owt, but I suspect the parents have enough on right now.

Porcupineinwaiting · 02/09/2020 11:45

@Twigletfairy I hope not. If your child is weaned then there are many vegan non "milk" sources of nutrients and fats open to you. If they are not weaned then you cant just give them vegan milks as the mainstay of their diet as other parents might do cows milk. And tbf most vegan parents know this. My ds1 was allergic to cmp as a young child so ate a largely vegan diet. We used plant based milks for him but had to suppliment these with hypoallergenic formula til he was 2 as he was a poor eater.

JulesCobb · 02/09/2020 11:49

@Hangingover

Which of these scenarios seems more likely:
  • foodbank used best known brand names e.g Oatly, Shreddies, Wheetabix for ease
  • as above but also foodbank asked family if there were any particular products they like so they could source some if at all possible
  • entitled vegan family "demands certain premium brands"

This thread is so mean spirited. I hope some nice vegan with a six pack in their cupboard spared them an Oatly carton, I certainly would.

This.
TheHappyHerbivore · 02/09/2020 11:55

That's not my experience, but fair enough. What is the accepted term nowadays, then? Would you talk about the assistance-seekers in Kolkata? Is it different if you say 'people begging' as opposed to 'beggars'? A real danger with sanitising words that everybody understands is that it then serious downplays the circumstances of some of the most vulnerable people in society and makes their real problems sound like fluffy little puzzles.

Don’t make out like calling someone a beggar is a noble attempt to address the needs of the vulnerable. The word beggar reduces somebody to an act they are required to do to survive, and implies that it is their entire identity. It fails to recognise human dignity and individuality. It is associated with all kinds of negative connotations - laziness, entitlement, scrounging, piteousness, exclusion. That’s true whether the person you’re discussing lives in Kolkata or London.

You talk about the danger of ‘sanitising words’ as though it somehow helps vulnerable people to be referred to in degrading ways. How could that be true? Do you think a disabled person is better referred to as a cripple, or a moron? Do you recognise that doing so is offensive and wrong, or do you think they benefit from people resisting the urge to ‘sanitise’ their language?

A desperate impoverished single mum who sees no other option than selling her body so as to keep a roof over her kids' heads is not 'forced into prostitution', she's a 'sex worker', which makes her proud, empowered and gives her full agency over the person she aspires to be. Except it doesn't.

It is nobody’s business to tell any woman how to define herself and her experiences. If the woman in your scenario describes or views herself as having been forced into prostitution it’s very important to accept that and respect her views.

But if another woman considers herself a sex worker, it’s equally important to respect and uphold that too.

And if you are talking about sex workers broadly, as a class, it is worth considering that there is an evidenced link between using terms like ‘prostitute’ and people viewing women who do sex work in a negative way. It has been shown, for example, that when people read a news story about a woman who has been raped, they are less sympathetic and more likely to consider the attack to have been deserved or inevitable if the headline and or article use the word ‘prostitute’ to describe the woman in question. So insisting on use of a word which is so powerfully associated with dishonour and low morals actually makes people care less about the woman in question, not more.

Newdaynewname1 · 02/09/2020 11:58

Or “organisers want be extra holy by demanding expensive products”, and as a consequence everybody looses out. Which was the case in a local foodbank (for example morrisons canned sweetcorn and pasta sauce jars were rejected, only branded versions accepted). result: hardly any donations

SBTLove · 02/09/2020 12:00

As I had said previously I work at a foodbank and fortunately we do get partial funding from ScotsGov which enables us to purchase fish, chicken, veggie sausages and also we work with a. community group who supplies us with free freshly grown veg.
When we receive a referral it will state the family members ie 2 adults, 3 kids (3,7,10) pets and dietary needs.
We make a ‘shop’ that will feed for a week includes cupboard staples, toiletries( deodorant, shampoo etc) cleaning items(bleach, soap powder etc) pet food too.
Many ppl who are regular users note they don’t need coffee, soap powder that week but need shower gel. We always include a wee treat like some choc bars.
These ppl are not scrounges or need to stop breeding as pp have stated, those comments are vile. Many of the referrals I have dealt with are ppl I know and are good hardworking ppl who have been left out of work due to C19, they were maintaining a decent standard of living and found themselves with no income overnight.
If they want a carton of fuckin Oatly they can have it!!
p.s if you are donating please don’t hand in the shitty out of date crap from the back of your cupboard you don’t want, using a food bank doesn’t mean someone is less of a person than you, if you won’t eat it why should someone else!!

LoeliaPonsonby · 02/09/2020 12:02

Pretty clear from this thread that no matter what you call people, others will judge food bank users whether you call them beggars or not.

And yes, I do think it’s not on to demand brands at a food bank. If a child is young enough to need milks as an integral part of their diet, then I’d question any parent who decided that a vegan diet was suitable - and I say that as a lifelong vegetarian who is bringing up vegetarian children. If you’re relying on food banks, funded by people who are often not well off themselves, you don’t get to throw demands about.

Xenia · 02/09/2020 12:02

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SentientAndCognisant · 02/09/2020 12:04

Words mattter Xenia, you’re purposefully choosing a provocative term “beggar” to elicit a response

How very crass of you

SBTLove · 02/09/2020 12:06

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Chairbear · 02/09/2020 12:11

if you have a 1 year old with a dairy intolerance the dietician will advise you to use oatly barista over the other oat milks due to it having the highest fat content.

No it doesn't, the Sainsbury's one I have in my fridge has more fat per 100mls than oatly barista, not going to bother checking the rest, but a dietician should if that's what they're recommending to people.

Xenia · 02/09/2020 12:15

I said they weren't beggars in today's language and I was commenting on someone above who said they were.

We do have a term street beggar in English which distinguishes from other kind of beggers. For example if someone wins the lottery publicly they often then receive begging letters from people begging to be given some of the money.

My post above said don't use the term as it is upsetting for people so I am not sure it is right to tell me to f off......!

Collins UK dict:
beggar
(begəʳ )
Word forms: plural, 3rd person singular present tense beggars , present participle beggaring , past tense, past participle beggared

  1. countable noun

A beggar is someone who lives by asking people for money or food."

Yoholyolo · 02/09/2020 12:17

TheHappyHerbivore Thank you for articulating what I can't!
According to some, I'm both a cripple and a beggar.
Only one of those dehumanizing words is even accurate, and it absolutely doesn't help me in any way to know others will include the other if I sought the assistance I am supposedly 'entitled' to.

SBTLove Also thank you. I and my family are all very hard workers. Our solution to any financial problem is to take on more work. Almost all are self employed, we've all been thrown out of work by Covid, our industries simply closed down by this government. It would actually be illegal if we were doing the work we normally do.
We've pulled together to support each other as best we can, but everyone's in trouble at exactly the same time, which we just couldn't have planned for.
None of us have gone onto benefits, we're desperately going after work left, right, and center. Only one of us has received any form of government Covid assistance, and one has developed sudden heart failure during trying to make ends meet adding extra expense as well as trauma to the situation. We are so not beggars, or profligate.

SimonJT · 02/09/2020 12:21

@LondonUnited If you had to use a foodbank would you be happy to be given dog meat, whale etc? If you wouldn’t happily eat dog you shouldn’t expect a vegan to eat an animal.

SBTLove · 02/09/2020 12:22

@Yoholyolo
The help is there, please know there’s no shame in accepting it, pride doesn’t feed your kids. You pay tax like everyone and are entitled to help.
We deliver our parcels to ppl, it’s bagged up and just looks like an online shop being dropped off.

SBTLove · 02/09/2020 12:23

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OhReallyThen · 02/09/2020 12:25

If you are gluten free, vegetarian, vegan, halal we WILL be able to accomodate your dietary preferences.

Eating gluten free is not a preference. It's the only thing that stop me being in excruciating pain, getting the shits and lowering my immune system. Long term it's the only thing that will help prevent me getting colon cancer or my bowel perforating.

There's no problem with dietary preferences like vegetarian and vegan but don't lump GF in as a preference. It's a severe medical issue that will cause massive health problems if not followed.

SentientAndCognisant · 02/09/2020 12:30

You can get as tangential as you wish @Xenia it was purposefully provocative and mean spirited
But you already know that...

Goingunderground2 · 02/09/2020 12:44

I get your point about brands.

Just a thought oatly barista if that's what they've asked for is a recommended dairy alternative for children by dietitians for milk allergy. I used it while breastfeeding and used this milk for weaning

IlanaWexler · 02/09/2020 13:11

@OhReallyThen The majority of people on a gluten free diet do not have a medical diagnosis that requires it, so for those people it is a dietary preference.

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