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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if you rely on a food bank you may need to compromise your vegan principles?

791 replies

LondonUnited · 01/09/2020 21:30

I’m a supporter of our local food bank and am on their mailing list. I received an email earlier to say that they were supporting a vegan family and were therefore asking for specific food donations, including Oatly oat milk, various nuts and seeds, specific types of beans, etc etc.

I may get flamed for this but I couldn’t help thinking that - allergies aside (and I have a milk allergic child so I do get it) - if you need a food bank to feed your family, you might need to compromise on diet slightly? For a start, Oatly Barista is lovely and all that, but Aldi or Asda oat milk is also ok and half the price. And that the odd bit of tinned fish may be easier to access from a food bank than Brazil nuts and chia seeds...

OP posts:
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FlyMayBe · 02/09/2020 10:45

YANVVVU, OP.

Are you the reincarnation of Margaret Thatcher?

Griselda1 · 02/09/2020 10:47

I'm vegan and thankfully have never been in a situation where I needed a food bank. If I did there would be little point in me being given tinned meats, fish etc so I can see the need to tailor the contents otherwise it's simply wasteful. Vegan diets are relatively cheap and shouldn't be all that difficult to accommodate. Someone joked about aldi lentils but they're a staple part of many vegan diets. I always dither over putting vegan foods in a food bank collection point and would appreciate knowing they were catering for a vegan.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/09/2020 10:48

God those poor people having a preference on carton of oatmilk how very dare they want a nice milk! Supporting food banks on your terms is not only showing how superior you think you are but its bloody condescending!

See, I think it's breathtakingly rude to ask for assistance, but then insist on something expensive where you're not just buying the actual foodstuff but also the image and aspiration that goes with it. If everybody knows just how much more superior a particular brand actually is, in terms of taste, quality and nutrition, they will keep on buying it and recommending it to their friends and there will be no need for expensive adverts at all.

In fact, hardly any adverts actually bother to promote the product itself these days - it's all about how 'families of all kinds love and support each other through good times and bad', which would presumably be utterly impossible if your family happened to eat Aldi chips at a third the price. They've largely gone the way of the perfume adverts: when did you last see an ad for perfume which made any mention at all of what it smells like?

If it were a clothing bank for those in need, would you think it fair enough for those in receipt to turn their noses up at any donations of Primark or Matalan garments, because they prefer more fashionable and aspirational ones? Would it be an insult to them to suggest that, if they're not in a position to pay for clothes themselves, maybe they should be glad to have the same items that plenty of families who have to buy clothes for themselves accept without quibble?

jessstan2 · 02/09/2020 10:49

"Supporting food banks on your terms is not only showing how superior you think you are but its bloody condescending"

Not necessarily. It depends what the 'terms' are. Most people will give what they can afford to give whether it is goods or money - or both.

My idea of 'terms' is deciding to whom the food should be donated: I'm happy to leave that to the food bank people, I understand their clients have to produce some sort of ticket to prove eligibility. I can't imagine any other terms.

I can't believe they don't allow sugar donations! I know everyone is encouraged to fight obesity but a little sugar doesn't hurt, it's far better than artificial sweeteners. Guzzling diet lemonade does you no good at all!

Yoholyolo · 02/09/2020 10:54

I'm very lucky that there's a pay what you can afford/think it's worth 'food bank' that you make a donation to in exchange for whats offered, that I can access, as I can't bring myself to register for help.
There's nothing like brazil nuts, chia seeds, or for that matter cheese or loo roll.
Plenty of junk food and drinks that we don't know how to use, and loads of meat and fish.
For vegans and vegetarians the options are porridge, a steady flow of random (damaged or de-boxed) cereal, cheap tea, and coffee, sugar, tinned veg, chick peas, beans and tomato's, soups, tomato sauce, pasta, rice, cous-cous, green lentils, eggs for those that eat them, occasional bread, whatever vegetables and fruit are past their best, and an odd selection of out of date yellow label food, that's been frozen. It can be an odd mix in terms of building a meal, (ie swede, turnip, tomatoes) but no one's ungrateful. If I found what we'd been able to pay had been used to buy in Oatley for another family, I'd be happy for them.

I'm happy to take vegetables that only have a day left, or pick out moldy bits, etc to help out, and I'm not expecting high quality food or brands, just anything we can eat that will keep us going.
I've been vegetarian since childhood, my dc's their whole lives, and I (not dc's) have gone without food long enough to know this isn't a 'principle.' The smell alone of dead fish and meat is vile to me. I'd have to be beyond hunger and into actual starvation before I could even think about it as a survival source.
Animals are no closer to being food to me than suggesting we all go and dig up earth worms and catch beetles to eat if we're in financial trouble. There are nutrients in them and other people do after all eat and survive on them, but I bet few people here would do it unless at starvation, rather than hunger, point.

Yoholyolo · 02/09/2020 10:55

BTW attitudes about 'beggars can't be choosers' and 'donors should control what recipients can face eating' are why people like me prefer to go hungry than ask for food bank vouchers.
Before Covid destroyed us here, I dropped what I could happily and as thoughtfully as I could afford, into the supermarket food bank box, just give what you wish, and not what you don't and don't be judgmental, it could be you one day.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/09/2020 10:55

But this has been 1 request for 1 vegan family if you don't want to donate the superior oat milk somebody else will. I can't imagine they asked for the better milk for the fun of it and anyway poverty sucks s a nice thing thing makes a shitty day that tiny bit better,

Is it definitely objectively superior, though, or just dearer because it has the big money-making branding machine behind it?

Poverty also sucks for those who are lucky enough not to quite need a food bank, but who could also not dream of putting anything other than the value brands of everything in their family's trolley. Why is it OK for those with no means at all to buy food to go to a FB and ask for the big expensive brands when nobody would think it reasonable for a family that is able to buy the basic brands to go to the FB and ask for nicer ones?

SBTLove · 02/09/2020 10:57

I volunteer at a community food bank and we cater for dietary needs/choices.
Absolutely not an issue and no you shouldn’t have to compromise and eat dairy or meat, would you tell someone with an allergy to just eat it?
So fed up with the nasty snobby attitudes on MN at the moment.
Lockdown has brought out the best and worst in people.

TheHappyHerbivore · 02/09/2020 11:00

Nobody would deny that homeless folk sleeping in shop doorways and asking passers-by for spare change are begging - does the fact that they're even further down on their luck mean that they fully deserve what is alleged to be a nasty term, whereas for those slightly further up the ladder of need, it's grossly offensive?

Actually most people now understand that calling someone a ‘beggar’ is grossly offensive and wrong regardless of the situation. It’s a dehumanising, judgment-laden word and it’s not ok to use it in respect of people who are homeless or people who use food banks.

CarolVordermansArse · 02/09/2020 11:01

*I don't have any kind of milk and just drink tap water so I don't agree they need oatly stuff which my sons have and is very expensive.

Water is fine and tap water is free. Some put it in their oats by the way. you do not have to have milk in oats.*

Oh good for you. I'm sure that people who need to use a food bank would be overjoyed to live on tap water and gruel and give up what they are used to.

Porridge is not made only with water and salt, it depends where you are from. Sounds disgusting and I wouldn't expect anyone to eat it, regardless of whether they were in such dire straits that they needed help to eat or not.

These are people, actual living beings, why should they have to live on pig swill?

Hangingover · 02/09/2020 11:02

Which of these scenarios seems more likely:

  • foodbank used best known brand names e.g Oatly, Shreddies, Wheetabix for ease
  • as above but also foodbank asked family if there were any particular products they like so they could source some if at all possible
  • entitled vegan family "demands certain premium brands"

This thread is so mean spirited. I hope some nice vegan with a six pack in their cupboard spared them an Oatly carton, I certainly would.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 02/09/2020 11:05

I'd happily donate a brand if I knew it was getting used.

I'm not in the beggars can't be choosers mindset thankfully.

BentBastard · 02/09/2020 11:14

Disclaimer: not read thread

Asking for specific brands is cheeky but they might not know of cheaper alternatives.

But speaking as a vegetarian, I wouldn't be able to simply start eating meat. I mean, if I was actually properly starving no doubt nature would kick in, but is that really what we want for food bank users in the UK in 2020?

Don't donate vegan food if you don't want to, but I hope others do.

TheHappyHerbivore · 02/09/2020 11:17

This thread is so mean spirited. I hope some nice vegan with a six pack in their cupboard spared them an Oatly carton, I certainly would.

Don’t worry, I’m on it!

GrumpyHoonMain · 02/09/2020 11:18

@LondonUnited

I’m a supporter of our local food bank and am on their mailing list. I received an email earlier to say that they were supporting a vegan family and were therefore asking for specific food donations, including Oatly oat milk, various nuts and seeds, specific types of beans, etc etc.

I may get flamed for this but I couldn’t help thinking that - allergies aside (and I have a milk allergic child so I do get it) - if you need a food bank to feed your family, you might need to compromise on diet slightly? For a start, Oatly Barista is lovely and all that, but Aldi or Asda oat milk is also ok and half the price. And that the odd bit of tinned fish may be easier to access from a food bank than Brazil nuts and chia seeds...

YANBU about the brands. Oat milk is just oat milk. But you are wrong about the fish. Things like nuts and seeds can often be easier to access in certain areas and the food bank providers usually know this - for example they are often a lot cheaper in Indian areas with a lot of Indian shops and many families often have a spare kg they can donate.
Annabanana1234 · 02/09/2020 11:19

Ffs people. If oatly barista has been requested it’s almost certainly due to a dairy intolerance or allergy in a small child. They don’t get it on prescription, it’s higher in fat than every other brand and variety and often kids with dairy intolerance can’t have the cheaper soya ones because they’re intolerant to that too.

Op, feel free to message me the food bank and I’ll amazon them some. I’m not far above the breadline but I’m a hell of a lot better off than the family who are in need

Hangingover · 02/09/2020 11:21

High five TheHappyHerbivore

BentBastard · 02/09/2020 11:21

@Annabanana1234

Ffs people. If oatly barista has been requested it’s almost certainly due to a dairy intolerance or allergy in a small child. They don’t get it on prescription, it’s higher in fat than every other brand and variety and often kids with dairy intolerance can’t have the cheaper soya ones because they’re intolerant to that too.

Op, feel free to message me the food bank and I’ll amazon them some. I’m not far above the breadline but I’m a hell of a lot better off than the family who are in need

Yeah FFS, fancy people not knowing the nutritional detail of oat milk Hmm
BentBastard · 02/09/2020 11:23

Sorry for the sarcasm Blush but regarding the brand, the email does appear to say it is supporting a vegan family, not a family with allergies so I think the reference to cheaper brand alternatives are not unreasonable.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/09/2020 11:23

Actually most people now understand that calling someone a ‘beggar’ is grossly offensive and wrong regardless of the situation. It’s a dehumanising, judgment-laden word and it’s not ok to use it in respect of people who are homeless or people who use food banks.

That's not my experience, but fair enough. What is the accepted term nowadays, then? Would you talk about the assistance-seekers in Kolkata? Is it different if you say 'people begging' as opposed to 'beggars'? A real danger with sanitising words that everybody understands is that it then serious downplays the circumstances of some of the most vulnerable people in society and makes their real problems sound like fluffy little puzzles.

A desperate impoverished single mum who sees no other option than selling her body so as to keep a roof over her kids' heads is not 'forced into prostitution', she's a 'sex worker', which makes her proud, empowered and gives her full agency over the person she aspires to be. Except it doesn't.

Everysinglebloodytime · 02/09/2020 11:25

[quote Potterpotterpotter]@TheHappyHerbivore - having a job is standard.Hmm. It’s not even close to a privilege.[/quote]
The thing about privilege is that it's easy to take it for granted.

Talk to people on zero hours contracts who have to travel for hours daily to wait outside the door to see if they get a shift and if they don't, travel for hours to get home again. Or the people who have applied repeatedly for jobs against huge competition. Or the people who have been made redundant. Or the people who are ill or disabled and can't work.

Pretty sure that they would consider it a privilege to be able to work.

Soubriquet · 02/09/2020 11:26

My cows milk intolerant son was on alpro soya growing up milk once he was weaned off formula.

Twigletfairy · 02/09/2020 11:28

I wonder if the oat milk is for a young child. Oatley barista is recommended for young children over other oat milks because of the calories and fat content

Runssometimes · 02/09/2020 11:29

Some brands can be fortified with non vegan vitamins, in which case it can be best to specify.

We are vegetarian and when I was feeding my baby I was surprised to discover SMA infant milk powder was vegetarian but the ready made formula was not. There was a fish derived ingredient in it.

Yoholyolo · 02/09/2020 11:29

BTW at our 'pay what you choose/or can' food bank, people actually go shopping like a normal person, rather than having things doled out to them. You don't know who's there as desperate and whose there to 'bag a bargain' or shop there and donate to help out.
It has children's books on offer. I'm currently using my creative skills to use materials I have to make cards and wrapping paper for those in need, or those who might want to buy it to support others. I'm beyond grateful that not only does this model of support exist, but it allows me and others not be seen as beggars, and allows me to contribute what I do have (skills) back.
I'm no beggar and neither are the vast majority of those of there in desperation.
Solidarity rather than top down charity is a model to be encouraged.

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