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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my children to school anyway

65 replies

AngryAF · 01/09/2020 17:33

My dd keeps getting tonsillitis and of course two days before school starts it's back again! Shes had it 5 times already since January, but not enough times to have them out yet. Older DC was the same, they had to have their tonsils and adenoids out and gromits in their ears - so not my first rodeo.

My children are at two schools (high school and primary) and both schools have said that if anyone in the household has a temperature not to send them into school for two weeks, and the ill person one week.

However, we know this is recurrent tonsillitis and not covid, but she has a temp and we have an appointment for tomorrow for antibiotics.

So I aibu to send my children to school anyway? One is has additional needs and can't afford to miss the beginning of school as it's their first week of high school/ yr 7.

DD with tonsillitis is starting reception too, so will miss transition 😣

OP posts:
Sweettea1 · 01/09/2020 18:21

How would you feel if another parent sent there child in with a temp? You are not thinking about the teachers or the other children keep your child off a few more days wont do any harm.

Skysblue · 01/09/2020 18:23

Tonsillitis makes you feel awful, it’s unfair to her to send her. I hate parents who worry about what they letter of the rules say when the point is that IF YOUR CHILD IS ILL THEY NEED REST AND NOT TO INFECT OTHERS.

Cam2020 · 01/09/2020 18:55

I suffered with tonsillitis as a child from the age of six to 17! My GP refused to refer me to get them taken out and said I'd grow out of it (and I did). If my mum had kept me off school every time I had a flare up, I would never have been in!

You did the right thing, OP, it'll be interesting to see how often children are off school this winter!

Cam2020 · 01/09/2020 18:57

Tonsillitis makes you feel awful, it’s unfair to her to send her. I hate parents who worry about what they letter of the rules say when the point is that IF YOUR CHILD IS ILL THEY NEED REST AND NOT TO INFECT OTHERS.

OP has stated its bacterial and not contagious after 24 hours of antibiotics! Read the bloody thread before yelling at people. Always drama-fucking-rama on this page!

Jeezoh · 01/09/2020 19:00

The guidance is pretty clear - you have a temperature so you get a test. Pretty sure the guidance DOESN’T say “you have a temperature but don’t bother getting a test if you’ve got a hunch it’s not COVID”

Pinkyaandthebrain · 01/09/2020 19:01

I'd get a test done as she has a temp. If she's unwell though I'd keep her off even if its negative.

SunbathingDragon · 01/09/2020 19:04

She needs a test to be negative before returning to school. Usually test results are back within 24 hours now, so it won’t be much school missed (assuming the result is negative).

Cherrybalm · 01/09/2020 19:08

yabu but not because of COVID but to consider sending a child who has tonsillitis and a temperature into school. I used to suffer with tonsillitis before I had them out and it used to make me feel so unwell. only cure was plenty of fluid and rest.

NailsNeedDoing · 01/09/2020 19:09

In your position, I’d send the Y7 and keep the little one at home.

I realise there are rules, but common sense is a thing too. It would be a huge deal to keep an already disrupted year 7 child away from their first week at secondary school, things like that are important for them and make a big difference, and honestly, I couldn’t do it to one of mine just because their sibling had tonsillitis.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 01/09/2020 19:10

I know it’s really hard but i don’t think you need a test and/ or to isolate. It could easily be COVID as well as others have said.

We really need to take no chances.

JustSaying101 · 01/09/2020 19:12

When do you children go back OP? This week or next? Personally, I would get your whole family tested for Covid as a precaution. If result is negative for all, let your eldest DC go into school, however, I would be inclined to still keep your Reception DC off from school and let the antibiotics kick in. Please do not feel your Reception DC will miss out. It is better that you keep your child off school than sending them in and being sent home on the first day. I think many people will be in the same boat this year and as we enter 'flu season', it is going to be extremely difficult to differentiate whether people have a cold, flu or Covid without doing a test. Wishing your DC a speedy recovery :)

latticechaos · 01/09/2020 19:12

@NailsNeedDoing

In your position, I’d send the Y7 and keep the little one at home.

I realise there are rules, but common sense is a thing too. It would be a huge deal to keep an already disrupted year 7 child away from their first week at secondary school, things like that are important for them and make a big difference, and honestly, I couldn’t do it to one of mine just because their sibling had tonsillitis.

This is really not good advice.
Original poster
AngryAF · 01/09/2020 19:16

Will get a test, waste of time and resources as we've not been in contact with anyone but if it is necessary then so be it. We are not typically rule breakers etc. I could easily say I think we have been the best at sticking to the rules out of everyone we know.

I think it is pathetic honestly to be expected to keep all my children off for bacterial tonsillitis of one child - when all of us have been in isolation through our own choice/lifestyle. We've been very careful and haven't even mixed with our family due to their jobs/locations.

Reading the schools guidelines my other children should now miss two weeks of school! Obviously whoever came up with this never contemplated bacterial chronic and recurrent tonsillitis in small children and large families.

One dose of penicillin and already she's perked up, so that's great news.

OP posts:
Oblomov20 · 01/09/2020 19:19

I would also be talking to GP and insisting that it was actioned, ie tonsils out or some sort of action, ASAP. You can't carry on like this.

Original poster
AngryAF · 01/09/2020 19:21

In regards to my Yr7 child - Like I said Senco are involved there and it's already going to be very very tough on them. Missing two weeks of a new school is the worst thing for my child. Already have them pacing, stimming the house and flapping over it.

Due to start this week.

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 01/09/2020 19:21

GPs don’t want to go any where near throats at the moment, they won’t even swab mine until I’ve had 2 more flare ups... I’m on 5 in 4
Months!

Original poster
AngryAF · 01/09/2020 19:24

@Oblomov20 weve asked already, the NHS changed the number of times needed in a year to 7, so we are nearly there already. She did have it last year too, but they refused to give antibiotics so those don't count apparently. Gp tried to put us off already - until I explained all my eldest went through. Fingers crossed she either grows out of it or can get the surgery asap!

OP posts:
AnImperfectParent · 01/09/2020 19:24

YABU to send a child to school with a fever, regardless of COVID.

latticechaos · 01/09/2020 19:29

@AngryAF

In regards to my Yr7 child - Like I said Senco are involved there and it's already going to be very very tough on them. Missing two weeks of a new school is the worst thing for my child. Already have them pacing, stimming the house and flapping over it.

Due to start this week.

This sounds a nightmare. The whole Covid, isolation, testing issue is a nightmare.

The stress of this will fall disproportionately on families with extra pressures, whether money or health or special needs or other.

But I still think you should follow the rules, I'm sorry.

If the test comes back negative, I think the siblings can go back to school?

Sirzy · 01/09/2020 19:29

No they have to isolate until after you get the test results back.

It’s a pain but they need to keep the rules in place to try to protect things and allow schools to stay open

SunbathingDragon · 01/09/2020 19:32

@AngryAF

Will get a test, waste of time and resources as we've not been in contact with anyone but if it is necessary then so be it. We are not typically rule breakers etc. I could easily say I think we have been the best at sticking to the rules out of everyone we know.

I think it is pathetic honestly to be expected to keep all my children off for bacterial tonsillitis of one child - when all of us have been in isolation through our own choice/lifestyle. We've been very careful and haven't even mixed with our family due to their jobs/locations.

Reading the schools guidelines my other children should now miss two weeks of school! Obviously whoever came up with this never contemplated bacterial chronic and recurrent tonsillitis in small children and large families.

One dose of penicillin and already she's perked up, so that's great news.

Where are you? It should be the unwell person is tested and if negative, no more isolating.
Farlow · 01/09/2020 19:32

As several pp’s have said you should not be sending your child into school with a temperature anyway.

Furrydog7 · 01/09/2020 19:37

I wouldn't send her to school. Even if covid didn't exist tonsillitis can make you feel crap. I had tonsillitis all the time when i was a child and i had them taken out when i was 6. On one occasion i was even in hospital for a week as my tonsillitus was so severe

Aragog · 01/09/2020 19:40

I know it's annoying. I know it is unsettling, especially on transition week.

However, it also isn't fair to send your children into school if they have a temperature.

The rules are clear. A temperature is a symptom of Covid (even if you think it isn't being caused by Covid) There is no way of knowing for definite that it couldn't be Covid without a test.

Your child should self isolate and ideally get a test done.
The rest of your household should also self isolate.

If the test comes back negative you can all stop self isolation and return to school/work. Your child with the temperature should only return when feeling well though.

If it comes back positive then you have to follow those rules too.

Aragog · 01/09/2020 19:44

Reading the schools guidelines my other children should now miss two weeks of school!

ONLY if a positive test comes back, if the test coms back unclear OR if the person with symptoms doesn't get a test.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-long-to-self-isolate/