Not good day at work today

[Anon315]

Started new job after a career break of nearly seven years. I don’t feel I was at ease or comfortable. There were other new starters too but they seemed comfortable and confident. We had to stand up and introduce ourselves; mine was like a sentence I said my name and one other detail, other people went on for a while talking about themselves. I feel very deflated as I know people must think I’m weird or just awkward. I generally am quiet in a group and more at ease in smaller groups or one to one.

It probably wasn't as bad as you think it was !
Tomorrow is another day ....face it with a smile when you go in ,and it can only get better ,..

People were probably relieved that you kept it short and didn't waffle on for ages. Don't be so hard on yourself, it was you first day it always takes a while to settle in.

Agree with @ChristmasinJune
Honestly, who wants to hear about people’s lives? Not me. I would have much preferred your introduction. They can get to know you gradually. Don’t give it another thought.

Ps. I hate those stand up intros as well x

I would be just the same in this situation so you are not alone. I much prefer small groups too. Just a thought but some of the confident ones could be faking it til they make it!
Its natural to feel nervous and apprehensive. The others will forget all about it, that’s if they even noticed. You have got the first day out of the way so breathe a sigh of relief and as PP said tomorrow is a new day.
Good luck.

I would be pleased that you kept it short - I hate waffling!

Thank you both. The leaders were looking at me like they felt sorry for me! I’m just generally a very quiet person. My job is teaching, I think most people are very outgoing and extroverted in this field so I’m odd one out. When I’m in a class full of my kids I’m bubbly and confident and I know I can teach very well, as my lessons were always outstanding. I’m different in a class full of kids than I am with class full of adults.

I'd have liked you.

I like people who don't give too much away but talk about themselves and life on a personal level where it means something they like you enough to confide - iyswim?

I've worked in my job for 13 years. There's still staff who are shocked to find out certain things about me. I love it!
And they generally find out by mistake because they overhear me chatting to colleagues who have become actual friends outside of work and know this stuff!

Oh and I too work in a school!

Congratulations on getting a new job! Well done!

I would have appreciated your short and sweet introduction, and inwardly rolled my eyes at the waffler.

Feel secure! You’ve been hired for your skills. All you have to do is the work you’re assigned and be friendly and polite. It’ll be fine

Some people are quiet when they are nervous, some people say too much. Don't doubt yourself. If you are a quiet person, be that person.

Don't judge your insides against someone else's outsides.

You've no idea how nervous they felt.

Be kind to yourself, you have plenty to offer.

Anon,

As you know from teaching, you would counsel a pupil that we all have bad days and no one will judge you on a one day snapshot.

New environments are really tough. And, to be honest, in my experience, it is often the best staff who feel nervous and it is the cocky ones who fall flat on their face.

The others probably appeared more confident than they actually were. I don't think lengthy introductions serve much purpose - people aren't going to remember loads of detail about people they've just met.

Thank you all! It’s just all my life I’ve been surrounded by extrovert teachers who just waffle. I know I’m our jobs we’re supposed to talk and talk but I’m generally very quiet. My kids don’t suffer as I’ve had amazing results and lesson observations but I just always feel inferior as I’m so quiet and reserved around other teachers.

@SonEtLumiere good luck to your husband for tomorrow! x

Do you all think people generally think negatively about quiet people? I just feel if you’re confident and outgoing people trust you more and feel you are more competent.

I can tell you now they were relieved you didn't waffle on. I much prefer straight to the point and not too much info. I would think you were a nice person and not full of yourself.

Anon13. One of the best advisors I ever had said in a training meeting something like

" who in the classroom needs the practice in speaking, expressing ideas, giving explanations, responding to other people's ideas. And who is the person in the classroom who gets to speak, express ideas,give explanations and respond to others."

Sometimes the bright , overconfident teachers need to take a lesson from the quieter teachers who spend time listening to their pupils and allowing them to become confident speakers.

I bet you make the effort with quieter pupils to make sure they get the chance to express ideas without getting spoken over by louder peers.

@Anon315

Thank you both. The leaders were looking at me like they felt sorry for me! I’m just generally a very quiet person. My job is teaching, I think most people are very outgoing and extroverted in this field so I’m odd one out. When I’m in a class full of my kids I’m bubbly and confident and I know I can teach very well, as my lessons were always outstanding. I’m different in a class full of kids than I am with class full of adults.

Focus on this!

You're good with the kids & good at your job.

Today's crap is NOT your job, it's over & done with now, no need to dwell on it.

Others are probably bricking it as much as you, & are probably at home berating themselves for having gone on too much!! 😂

Roll on having the kids in & getting to know them!

Do you all think people generally think negatively about quiet people

No. I would think I'd like to have a tea break and a chat with you, and not with the one who is going to do all the talking and not actually listen.

OP - I would have liked you too.

I've sat in too many meetings when people witter on and on about themselves.

Just be yourself :)

Oh God, I'm starting a new job on Monday. I'm dreading the introductions and get-to-know-you's

[quote Anon315]@SonEtLumiere good luck to your husband for tomorrow! x

Do you all think people generally think negatively about quiet people? I just feel if you’re confident and outgoing people trust you more and feel you are more competent.[/quote]
I use to.

I'm a private person. Discuss school stuff in staff room but I'm quiet and level headed but will buck trend if I feel it's right and state my case.

I thought people didn't particularly like me (but didn't dislike me!), just kinda thought I was there iyswim? Maybe a bit quiet and worried they think that was a snub.

Anyway pre Covid times so major changes were suggested and union got involved.

All stood in group and union rep asked for people to come forward or suggest someone to speak for group.

Loads of people verbally said me at same time and others looked at me.

Turns out people can often have a quiet respect for you if you're quiet. For the first time ever I actually felt respected rather than judged.

So watch out if staff ever need a spokesperson

Nothing has me giving a big internal eyeroll than people who, when invited to say a little about themselves, launch into a tedious monologue about their background, training, family etc etc. No one cares!