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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not good day at work today

56 replies

Anon315 · 01/09/2020 17:19

Started new job after a career break of nearly seven years. I don’t feel I was at ease or comfortable. There were other new starters too but they seemed comfortable and confident. We had to stand up and introduce ourselves; mine was like a sentence I said my name and one other detail, other people went on for a while talking about themselves. I feel very deflated as I know people must think I’m weird or just awkward. I generally am quiet in a group and more at ease in smaller groups or one to one.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon315 · 01/09/2020 18:08

@itsgettingweird you sound very much like me! Wish I had colleagues like you. Thank you so much for your insight!

Thank you everyone. It’s so lovely to get these responses.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 01/09/2020 18:09

Quality not quantity as they say.

You've shown the wafflers how to say what you need to, in the most succinct way possible, without boring the pants off people.

Sometimes it helps to remind ourselves that none of us is individually important, we each make our own small contribution to the big picture.

They all have forgotten about it tomorrow anyway, onwards and upwards!

Standrewsschool · 01/09/2020 18:09

The first day at a new job is always horrible - new people, routines, procedures etc. It’s not unusual to feel a bit overwhelmed.

Also, hate introductions as well, especially if you’re the first or second person to speak, as you’ve got no-one to copy.

I’m sure no one thought you were weird or awkward. You probably will find that the other newbies thought they were talking (waffling) too much.

Ineedadentist · 01/09/2020 18:17

Lots of teachers are introverts, OP. The bubbly types are noticed of course but it doesn't mean they're better at the job.

And many of the staff would be inwardly rolling their eyes at the ones who waffled on about themselves.

HandfulofDust · 01/09/2020 18:25

Some of the most people are probably at home cringing that they babbled on for too long because they were nervous. Either way don't sweat it too much, it's hardly unusual to be quiet and a little nervous on a first day so no one will think much about it.

astuz · 01/09/2020 18:28

You'd fit right in at our school.

When we did interviews in February, to fill a vacancy for this new academic year, we chose the quiet candidate over the one who wouldn't stop talking.

The children preferred the quiet teacher as well, they thought the other one was a bit mad.

We are so far very pleased with our choice.

msflibble · 01/09/2020 18:33

Gah I hate those intros!! I always go bright red and start sweating when everyone looks at me. Once I tried to make a joke as part of my intro, when I was volunteering at a very pretentious art festival. Everybody looked blankly at me and nobody even smiled. I still cringe to think of it - but I can guarantee everyone had forgotten it by the next morning except me.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 01/09/2020 18:33

all my life I’ve been surrounded by extrovert teachers who just waffle.

I've met teachers like that OP. You get them in my profession too (I'm a university lecturer, and there are also many school teachers among my acquaintances and friends).

I'm familiar with the type you mention. And I also know plenty who don't feel the need to take the floor at every opportunity which presents itself.

Guess whose company I'd prefer? Grin Flowers

Chickenitalia · 01/09/2020 18:34

The best teacher my dc have had was very quiet, calm, softly spoken. The kids respected him and he had excellent behaviour because he displayed how they should act in his classroom. He was superb.

The crazy, loud, aren’t I fun and mad types are probably good in other ways, but control of my ds class was seriously lacking as the kids matched (and increased) the level of noise and crazy!

I know which style of teacher I prefer.
You know your skills, the SLT will too.
Enjoy getting to know your new class soon. Good luck.

msflibble · 01/09/2020 18:37

And yes to what PP have said - wafflers are a pain. Better to be concise and to the point. Nobody ever complains about someone for being too good a listener.

ExhaustedPigeon · 01/09/2020 18:45

Anon, I'm a teacher too and generally trust the quieter ones more. I often find the loudest ones are covering up for their own ineptitude. When quiet people speak its usually something worth listening to. Go in tomorrow with a smile and start getting to know a few people 1-1. You'll be fine

Shakirasma · 01/09/2020 18:45

My lovely, now elderly, dad is a very quiet, private person. He was also an excellent secondary school teacher, liked and fondly remembered by generations of students and respected by his colleagues.

Being a good teacher has nothing to do with being an extrovert. I'm sure you will impress the leaders in the ways that actually matter.

Deathraystare · 01/09/2020 18:48

Don't worry. The others might have been nervous too and rattled away too much or perhaps they are full of themselves!

BBCK · 01/09/2020 18:48

No-one wants to hear your life story when you are asked to introduce yourself. I would have considered you the normal one.

GisAFag · 01/09/2020 18:54

Don't be too quiet as in not talk in the staff room etc, you'll never find anyone to bond with. You need to take a deep breath and say hi, can I sit here, join in with the general conversations

bluecoffeecups · 01/09/2020 19:03

I would have been inclined to look at some of those others and think they were insufferable show-offs with an inflated opinion of themselves, but there we are.

AnotheBloodyChinHair · 01/09/2020 19:06

First days are always awkward
You do you
You sound great!

BlueJava · 01/09/2020 19:11

Act confident - fake it till you make it! It's does work! Good luck for day 2!!

lazarusb · 01/09/2020 19:13

I'm the person that feels awkward and then waffles on for ages - probably also saying that I don't want to share with a room full of people to boot.

I went to University at 40 and had a similar thing - I told my fellow students (all in their 20s) that I really love playing with Lego.

mineofuselessinformation · 01/09/2020 19:14

It sounds like the others were pretty 'up themselves' to be fair - I'd have appreciated your brevity too.
You will soon settle in!
Give it time. Thanks

ithinkiveseenthisfilmbefore · 01/09/2020 19:48

I would put it right out of your mind. We have teachers who are quiet with other adults, but fantastic with the children. It's fine! And you'll get to know your co-workers soon enough.

congrats on the new position.

Durgasarrow · 01/09/2020 19:53

Are you kidding, OP? I would absolutely love you for keeping it short and sweet. You can always brag more--you can't take back bragging you've already done out loud.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 01/09/2020 20:05

I'm with you, people who prattle on about what they've done, where they've been etc. are one step away from bring out the their holidays slides and telling you about how wonderful the waiter Gomez was, how blue the sea was, etc. etc. F* Off!🤬

msflibble · 02/09/2020 07:20

I went to University at 40 and had a similar thing - I told my fellow students (all in their 20s) that I really love playing with Lego.

Oh bless you @lazarusb this made me chuckle! I tend to waffle and overshare when nervous too, wish I could be more like OP and keep things short and pithy.

seayork2020 · 02/09/2020 07:28

I would not say you did anything wrong but I would not say they were 'up themselves' either - I find that incredibly rude (I am not saying the OP said this) everyone is different and has a different of doing the same scenario. There is no right or wrong way I just focus on my way and doing the best I can do