If you were born late 60s/early 70s please could you help me...

[ChickenNugget86]

I know this is really random but I'm at a point in my life where I'd love to find out about life growing up for my mum in the late 60s early 70s.

She was born in 1967 and unfortunately she passed away suddenly aged 42 when I was still living at home age 18. My family totally broke down from it and never talk about her, which really upsets me.

When I got married I asked about her wedding got nothing back. Had my first child they wouldn't speak about my mums labour to help paint a picture etc....

I understand people grieve in different ways but it's been over 10 years now and no one will talk about her which makes me sad. I often wonder what it would have been like being a child during these times - foods, hobbies, school life, toys etc...

Her parents are still alive and refuse to acknowledge she died. I know it must be horrible to lose a child but id love some answers about her life. My dad's family don't speak to me and I no longer have a relationship with my dad. (they were married when she died)

Her friends and work colleagues have told me bits but it's mainly things I already know.

I feel silly for asking but was hoping some people could share their experiences, might help me to get a picture??

Sorry about your mum OP how sad your family can’t talk about her. I was born in 67, there are lots of threads on here about growing up in the 70’s and 80’s which might help you discover more about her and what her life may have been like, lots of reminiscing about the good old days! I hope they can bring you some comfort.

I'm 1973 so a bit later than your mum... childhood was a bit like that tv programme life on Mars... my dad spent a lot of time in the pub and women weren't allowed. I remember being sent over to ask him to come home for various reasons. Playing outside, orange walks, very misogynistic society and actually quite neglectful parenting by our standards.

Can speak about marriage as I've never been married and I was an older mum so not sure I can help with that either.

Hope that helps some what....

Parenting was not neglectful in the 60s/70s. And not all fathers spent time in the pub, and women were definitely in pubs too if they wanted.
This may have been true for your family but certainly not for mine

I'm older than you mum was but remember some things ... in the sixties, not every house had a fridge. Television was in black and white. Sindy and Tressy were popular dolls. Children played out, unsupervised, roaming far and wide. In the early seventies, Ski pineapple yoghurt was my favourite food - I can remember the flavour as if tasting it right now. I am sorry you lost your mum. I hope people can fill in the gaps for you.

So sorry to hear about your mum, OP.

I too was born in 1967 and I think it was probably the best time ever to be born. As a young woman in the 80s, I had many more freedoms and options than my own mum did. Life back then seemed so much less complicated than it is today. There was less choice - in everything - but it was simpler. I can waste half a morning deciding which kitchen surface cleaner to buy these days.

I think your mum would have loved being a 60s baby and I hope that brings a smile to you

it was not the case that women were not allowed in pubs. that may have been a private members' club.
in some areas, up north i believe, women may have been unusual in pubs, and would not go except with a man, and would not approach the bar.
children were never admitted to pubs. that was the law. pubs did not serve meals. occasionally a stale roll. usually only crisps.
some seaside places had pub gardens, i remember being impressed by coloured light bulbs gaily hanging, where children were allowed to sit. they would be left there, or on the street outside where no garden, with crisps and ginger beer/orangeade.
i do not agree that parenting was neglectful; society was different. children were more self-sufficient.
i'm sorry you have that gap in your life and history op.
is there anything specifically you want to know about.

I was born a bit before that, but my sister was born in 1967.
What particular things do you want to know about?

Black and white TV ? Only 3 Channels? Video recorders were a big thing when they came in. Taping the songs in the charts off the radio to make mix tape cassettes, on a Sunday night?

People being allowed to smoke everywhere - in offices, shops, banks, etc., as well as in the pub?

We didn't have anywhere near the amount of clothes / shoes etc that dc have now. You had school shoes, slippers and wellies with trainers for playing out. Wasn't a poverty thing, or a derived thing, that was just all you needed. Not so many schools (at Primary level anyway) has school uniform. Schools tended to have a colour (like now - the red sweatshirt or blue or green) but people's Mums or Nans knitted them cardigans as no-one wore sweatshirts.

Mostly people went on holiday in the UK. It was quite a 'thing' to hear that someone had been somewhere fancy like Spain. We weren't that bothered about suncream - I think most of us had sunburn at one time or another. Particularly during 1975 and 1976 when we had two glorious long summers. There were droughts and people queued at standpipes in the street to get water.

There was a lot of queing to get things in short supplies in the 1970s. Unions controlled the country and inflation was ludicrous - I think it hit about 75% at one point. There were massive strikes, and people 'downed tools' at the drop of a hat. We used to have power cuts all the time. I remember there being no bread at one point and no sugar at another. Everyone used to take sugar in their tea then. Rubbish piled up in the streets when the bin men went on strike.

There were very few takeaways - it was seen as a bit uncouth to eat in the street. there were chip shops but not a lot else in terms of takeaway food. 'Going out for a meal' was quite an occasion, you didn't just drop into your local pub like you do now. Pubs were for drinking in, not eating in.

There was a lot of football hooliganism and a lot of racism. A lot of sexism too, in some ways, but far less marketing to different sexes like there is now.

We had 40 children in our Primary school classes. No teaching assistants. No National Curriculum - each school could teach whatever they wanted.

No internet of course nor computers not mobile phones. You had a house phone in the hallway and calls were charged by the minute, but were cheaper after 6. If you wanted to speak without your parents listening in, you went to the phone box at the end of the street.

What else do you want to know ?

I'm not being frivilous but this song/video might give you a sense of your mum's childhood and teens. I cried the first time I saw it as it brought back so many memories.

I was born at a similar time to your Mum and my Dad dropped dead suddenly when I was 13 so I can relate to you and what your feeling. I did have a lot of freedom to go off on my bike and my parents often didn’t know where I was. We spent time paddling in streams and (can remember one called the yellow river). I went to brownies and guides and we had Sunday lunch every weekend at my grandparents. My parents ran a pub so we didn’t see that much of them and we lived above the pub. At school I remember we did a lot of skipping at playtime and had those elastics around the legs and jumping in and out of them. We taped the radio to make tapes to listen to and it was quite an art getting the timing right! I worked at the local skating rink handing out skates from when I was about 13 and spent a lot of time there till the owner burnt it down for the insurance!

I was born in 1961 so a bit earlier than your Mum.

I'm not sure if this will be useful but here goes...
we really did play out in the street a lot - bikes, roller skates and generally running around. At primary school everyone had school dinners (I mean no one brought in packed lunches) and everyone either walked or got the bus to school - my Mum didn't drive.

fashion-wise - there were hot pants and flared (and I mean really flared trousers, all a bit hippie-like, very floral and bright colours. The 70s were not as beige as some people make out. Hobby wise - I did a lot a roller skating & swimming, only boys played football in organised teams. Can't recall anyone having allergies, or intolerances.

Toys - there were 'clackers' and Rubiks cubes, Tiny Tears dolls that you could feed with real water and then they would wee. Sindy dolls were the brit equivalent of Barbie and not so ample in the bust department. I also had lego, but it came as sets by brick type not as sets of bricks to make specific things. I felt very gown up when I was given transistor radio for my 10th birthday. We didn't have a phone at home until I was about 10 (and I can still remember the number). Didn't have a colour TV until about then either. 3 TV channels and BBC 2 was only on in the evenings and for about an hour in the morning for Play School programme with Brian Cant who only recently died. There was Vision On on BBC1, one of my favourite programmes - it was an art programme for kids, aimed at deaf children as the lady presenter signed and spoke. You could send in your pictures and they would show the best ones every week. They would show you how to draw cartoons etc and that's where the stop animation Morph originated.
On Saturdays there was mainly sport on the TV

people hitch-hiked a lot - well they did around us but maybe that was because the bus service was lousy. Holidays abroad were very novel - we used to go to Butlins and Pontins.

I hope this is the sort of thing you meant.

I think it's very sad your family wont share their memories with you. Do you have photos?

I was born in 1972 and spent much of my childhood in pubs as my Mum was a barmaid - there were plenty of women around. And (shock horror) we were in the north!

It's true that most women would choose to sit in the best side rather than the bar. They most definitely didn't drink pints ( I caused shockwaves doing that in the 90s) and men would get offended if they ordered a half and got given it in a 'lady's glass' in error.

But that's not relevant to the op. I think it does show how different all our experiences are and how difficult it is to extrapolate from one person to another. I'm really sorry you can't get the answers you're looking for op.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was born in 1973 like a PP so a little after your mum. I'm 47 now so older than she was when she passed and I have a daughter who is currently 15. I feel for you continuing your life without her. I'm very lucky to still have my own mum who is 72 and shielding from Covid. What do you really want to know? More about what her childhood would have been like or what the early years were like when she was getting married and having you? Are there any more remote cousins or aunts or friends you can ask for anecdotes? It is very sad the family don't talk about her. Ask me anything and I will help if I can x

@BackforGood @DPotter what beautifully remembered summaries of those days! I hope helpful for OP.

I was born in 1964, and had a fantastic childhood, my dad was certainly not in the pub all the time, and neither was my mum, but would go if she wanted to.
We didn't have a lot of money, but always had food and clothes, might not have been very fashionable, but practical. We were latchkey kids, as my Mum worked, but neighbours kept an eye out.
We had lots of freedom and did roam quite far away, but not really in any danger, it's a different world now.
Stabbings and violence was almost unheard of, well in our neighbourhood anyway, council estate.
We had a black and white tv, and a radiogramme.
Had dogs and cats, and rabbits.
Very fond memories of childhood.
Wouldn't like to be a teenager now, I think they have it tough.

I'm sorry that you lost your mum early on.

I was born in 1964.
Just about every man did 'the pools.' This was a gambling thing whereby men would put crosses against football matches played on the following Saturday and hope that their chosen teams won.
We didn't have a car or a fridge so my mum and I would have to walk to the local shops regularly to buy food etc...
My mum made most of my clothes using patterns and she crocheted a lot.
TV was black and white and only had three channels. Most people rented TVs because, if they went wrong, which was often, you could call the TV man in for free.
Absolutely no dishwashers... we had a twin tub but when the spinning bit died, we got a second hand spin drier that my mum would get me to sit on to stop it flayling about.

I went to school in the half term after I was 5.

Women often got dressed up for the evening and wore long dresses and skirts as well as wigs!!!
Sounds so old fashioned now that I've written it.

Sorry for your loss
Did your Mum tell you much about her life growing up when she was alive?

I'm the same age as your mum.
We definitely weren't Molly coddled or babied like many kids are today. Our parents loved us but we weren't the centre of their worlds. We fitted in with them.

Shops weren't open on Sundays. We went over to grandparents for Sunday tea. The men would sit in the living room and the women congregated in the kitchen and prepared a plate of food for the men. Even my mum, who was far more progressive at home.

People didn't have as many material things. I had a four function calculator for my birthday once which was the only technology we had until the tv tennis game was invented of a dot being batted backwards and forwards. That was exciting at the time. As kids we played out all day. We had a lot of freedom. A holiday in the UK if we were lucky at a holiday camp or camping.

The 80's were a great time to be a teenager. Watch the programmes on tv "i love 1984" etc to see what life was like then.

Born in 68. Yes, 3 TV channels until 82. We had a black and white tv until 76. Video player by 85. No central heating or phone until 82! I hated that bit tbh. Playing outside in the summer all day with brother or friends, parents didn't really bother you. Dad in charge at home, tv etc. I think kids ( at least my son!) are much more in control than we were at home. Maybe parents in 21st century pander more to kids than 70s parents did (?) That said, we did more things together as a family; tv, board games, meals, cards etc than I do with my family now. Everyone now seems in their own little bubble with tech stuff.
Food- wise: much more monotonous with lots of fried chips + something meaty, or a dinner with veg and gravy. Far less cosmopolitan food tastes than now. Food more expensive then, I think. Kids eat so much better these days, but also more junky stuff like crisps eaten. We often had jam sandwiches for a snack, or meat paste ones. Hygiene was also lacking IMO as many parents had grown up in the 40s/50s when weekly baths and hair washing were the norm. Until I was 13 or so, we used to bath on a Sunday for the school week. Seems disgusting now!
Life was much more basic, but it seemed richer in some ways for kids; far less options/ choices of entertainment and life in general. Maybe just rose-tinted view, though!

I was born in 67. I remember playing out a lot on my bike and going to Brownies. We had no home phone until I started work and could pay the bill. I got a long lead so I could take it up to my room.
I remember kids sitting outside puvs while parents were inside with a coke and bag of crisps. No seat belts, cram as many people in the car as you could. Getting money back for returning empy bottles and spending the money on sweets. The only bon bons we could get were strawberry, lemon and toffee (there are so many flavours now). Sweet cigarettes with the red bit at the end. I had sindy dolls, toy cars and a cap gun.
Hope that helps a bit

Early 68 here 😊
Rental TVs were the norm, we had a new one every 3 years. It wasn’t worth buying one incase the ‘tube’ went - too expensive to repair.
We had a party line’ phone and the line was shared with a lady across the street. If we picked up the handset when she was using it, we could hear the conversation. All phones were rented alongside the.line and there were no cordless phones. Busby was the British Telecom mascot.
There were a lot of strikes. Teachers worked to rule, and we were locked out of the school gates every lunchtime.
Playmobil were ‘Playpeople’. I had Pippa dolls which were like a smaller version of Sindy. My nan made me dolls clothes - knitted or sewn.
Liver and kidneys were normal foods. Junket for pudding. If a friend was visiting we could have Findus Crispy pancakes or a French bread pizza. Angel delight for afters.
School books were ‘backed’ with wallpaper off cuts, or newspaper/magazines.
Lovely days 😍

@ChickenNugget86 Ahh bless you, it's a real shame that your family won't talk about your mum.

I was born early '68 and can honestly say I generally had a very happy childhood. Things I vaguely remember from early '70's were, bizarrely, power cuts from the 3 day week. It was exciting. I remember being sooooo excited about the Queen's silver jubilee as we were all given a mug a school. The summer heatwave of '76, getting water from a standpipe, plagues of ladybirds ... I know that sounds weird but it was just different from usual 😀. Sunday's were boring but that was excepted.

I was born in 69 and spent a lot of time out on my bike or at the library. I would often make the 10 minute walk to the local shopping parade by myself, with a list, age 7 or 8. I was already walking myself to school, anyhow. By 11 or 12, I was taking the bus into town, on my own and walking the couple of miles between our house and an elderly relative.

The big difference thst really stands out in my memory is that there were very few cars on the roads on the 70s, so it was so much safer from that point of view.

I was born in 1965 and my brother in 1967 so we are the exact same generation as your mum.

I am so sad for you that you are not really in touch with either her family or your dad's. Hopefully Mumsnet can help a bit.

I grew up in a county in South England - villages fairly rural with some towns.

School: village primary schools with 1 class intake of approx 25-30 kids. Children started in Class 1 at age 5 (the same compulsory school age as now). Wooden desks that lifted up - so you could store your bits. I remember the whole school sitting in the hall (parquet floor) watching on the tiniest TV on a tall stand - Concorde taking off (1973??) and similarly a space thing 1971? There were no canes used at my school but I do remember an older male teacher (who must have been close to retirement) teaching maths and saying treat top and bottom the same - and would tap the head and then the bottom. Luckily I was bloody good at fractions and only once got caught. (I cant even think back then that was acceptable).

Toys: my family was not particularly well off and my parents saved vouchers from a cereal packet to buy my first bike (plus some cash). I also had a spacehopper - my cus was beyond jealous. I used to get lots of books for birthdays. My brother had action men, but I didnt really have Sindy. I do remember summer holiday marathons of Monopoly and Cluedo. We mostly used to go and play in the local fields and orchards. One year (1976?) some archaeologists turned up and we spent all summer helping them. I cant imagine now that primary school age children helping on a dig (shame really).

TV: my parents rented our TV - got sent back for a whole year when my dad decided my brother wasnt reading enough. 1973? There were only 3 channels and we were never allowed to watch ITV. We watched the BBC 2 film on a Saturday afternoon and very occasionally were allowed tea in front of the telly. Think family entertainment like the Generation Game and the Black & White Minstrel show. As I got older we would all watch as a family shows like Not the 9 O'clock news. My best friend came round one day and was horrified. Perhaps my mum and dad were more liberal than I realised.

Eating Out: No, never. sorry. Pubs were for drinking. No family friendly food. Eating out was really expensive and special occasions only. There were very few takeaways and quality was pretty dire. I think I was 18 when the first Chinese turned up in the nearest town. I was in my early 20's when bistros became popular - kiwi cheesecake anyone?

I am just introducing my teenager to Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes. They've done a pretty good job on music, fashions, attitude to women/BAME etc. Teenager is a bit horrified.

Everyone seems to have come up with what I remember from my childhood although I grew up in Australia (both of my parents had to work to support the mortgage for a place ''out in the sticks'' whereas a lot of my friends seemed to have a stay at home mother) so I think you are covered there for recollections.

However, I'm going to ask if there is someone in the family who does family research? Someone you may not actually know very well or at all, like a long lost auntie or such like?

The reason why I ask, is those people usually are the ones to know what's gone on in the family so if yours are being very reluctant to talk about mum, another family member who is a bit more removed on the family tree might be more forthcoming?

Good luck!

I collected ladybirds in a roses box.