If you were born late 60s/early 70s please could you help me...

[ChickenNugget86]

I know this is really random but I'm at a point in my life where I'd love to find out about life growing up for my mum in the late 60s early 70s.

She was born in 1967 and unfortunately she passed away suddenly aged 42 when I was still living at home age 18. My family totally broke down from it and never talk about her, which really upsets me.

When I got married I asked about her wedding got nothing back. Had my first child they wouldn't speak about my mums labour to help paint a picture etc....

I understand people grieve in different ways but it's been over 10 years now and no one will talk about her which makes me sad. I often wonder what it would have been like being a child during these times - foods, hobbies, school life, toys etc...

Her parents are still alive and refuse to acknowledge she died. I know it must be horrible to lose a child but id love some answers about her life. My dad's family don't speak to me and I no longer have a relationship with my dad. (they were married when she died)

Her friends and work colleagues have told me bits but it's mainly things I already know.

I feel silly for asking but was hoping some people could share their experiences, might help me to get a picture??

@Orchidsindoors

O levels were in till about 1980s, then gcse's came in. It was all revision, no course work. Do you needed to cram revision. Your life depended on a 2 hour exam.

that is what current GCSEs are too

You mentioned your nan driving as unusual, depending on her age she may well have learnt as part of a WWll occupation.

Also re CB radio: your mum will have used the phrase: "Breaker, breaker, on the side" when others were talking in order to have joined the conversation.
If she was an avid user and you know what her handle (nickname) was, you might just find some old school CB'ers who knew her that way.

Daytime TV didn't start until 1986?
Where?
I enjoyed daytime TV from being old enough to, ie late 60s.
Do you mean the GMTV stuff? That was 1986.
Flavoured crisps were also around in the 1960s. I had my first bottle of coke and bag of cheese and onion at Pontins in 1969.

You mentioned your nan driving as unusual, depending on her age she may well have learnt as part of a WWll occupation.

I think that would be unlikely. Anyone born in ‘67 would have tended to have had parents born in the 30s or 40s. They would have been children in the war.

Was no one a punk in the late 70’s early 80’s.
Going out the house wearing bin liners and a whole can of hair spray .
Using needles and frozen peas to pierce your ears.
Fish net stockings with large rips in them and doing the pogo to friggin in the rigging.

"15:35steppemum

"Orchidsindoors

O levels were in till about 1980s, then gcse's came in. It was all revision, no course work. Do you needed to cram revision. Your life depended on a 2 hour exam."

"That is what current GCSEs are too"

Not totally, think the sciences you do over 2 years, half in yr 10 and finish off in year 11. Same with history zi think, its 2 separate papers across the 2 years. There is also more coursework now I think.

I remember the dire warnings when breakfast television was introduced in the early 1980s. It was apparently going to usher in the downfall of society.

I remember watching Tiswas on ITV rather than the nice Multicoloured Swap Shop with Noel Edmonds.

We used to walk home from school even at primary age. I was 12 when I first went abroad - coach to the South of France.

Plenty of kids left school at 16 and some without having taken any exams. School used to offer typing and home economics for girls and metalwork and woodwork for the boys. Taking A levels and going to University was still not the norm but we did get a full grant.

We got central heating in 1981. Before that you could wake up with ice on your windows.

I also remember living in the shadow of the Cold War, Greenham Common and CND marches.

daisypond You're right, though I did say dependent on her age. I was born a few years earlier to an older mother who was around in WWll and her age group learned to drive for wartime services and I tend to forget it's not that normal.

Remember the AIDS don’t die of ignorance campaign. People like Rock Hudson and Freddie Mercury dying.

I remember getting Scarlet Fever too and was an avid reader of Enid Blyton type books at the time. This meant I felt very cheated out of a 'convalescence in Switzerland' and that I possibly accused my family of neglect - I don't think the Dr shared my concerns.

I really felt hard done by. Still do, a bit.

Born 1970 and grew up in the U.K. (rural Norfolk) then abroad from age 6 with longish periods back in the UK. My parents married young (19 & 21) and thanks to my Dads rapid career progression we had big changes in our lifestyle and income level. Mum was a full time working journalist and feminist.

• As others have said, we all had the freedom to roam with the instruction to be ‘back in time for dinner’ (although we didn’t wear watches mostly so god knows how we knew when to come home!). We would knock for our friends, ask their parents if they could come out and play and then hang out on small groups of mixed ages (with the smaller kids sometimes left out or experimented on!).

• We had three channels till the launch of Channel 4 in the eighties. Channel 4 aired a few sexually explicit programmes when it launched so didn’t have a child friendly rep. TV wasn’t on all day and you had to sit through things you never would otherwise (black and white films etc) as there was so little choice. We had our own TVs as teens (Black and White ones with aerials you constantly needed to adjust) and we sat in our bean bags to watch them.

• My Mum worked so my Grandparents had us a lot during the week. They were old school Tories, only ate British food, thought Spag Bog was foreign muck and all foreign people smelt of garlic or would try to pinch your handbag! My Grandad was a Classical Pianist and rarely let us put pop records on the gramophone as it was all ‘rubbish’. My first record was a rip off Top of the Pops singles cover album. Tape players were a new thing late 70’s and we’d spend ages with blank tapes recording the U.K. Top 40 off Radio one, the tape always running out just as your favourite song came on.

• Fashion and make up were anti feminist in my Mums world and amongst her feminist friends. Being intelligent, having a career and not settling is what was drummed into us. We were really the first generation encouraged to have it all (probably why many of us ended up having babies so late as the right man didn’t turn up on schedule!). My sister and I wore lots of gender neutral clothes, weren’t allowed the in fashionable clothes like leg warmers, pixie boots etc as caring about fashion and looking attractive was wrong and being ‘ a sheep’ (I really wanted to be a sheep!).

• Men with make up and big hair were really attractive until some point in the mid/late eighties when they weren’t.

• Holidays with my parents were walking holidays in the rain to the Lake District and North Wales freezing our backsides of in cagoules & making ourselves sick on Kendal mint cake. Our grandparents took us on seaside days out where we’d park the car up & sit in it looking over the grey sea and sky and drink Campbell’s Game soup from a thermos. The first time we went abroad was my Fathers overseas posting to Africa. Other than school day trips it was also my parents first trip abroad.

• My Uncle and Aunt (later a Headteacher and a Professor) dropped out to live in a commune in the 70’s. My Mum wasn’t so keen on them coming over in case they brought fleas with them or drugs again (they’d done both!). They took my sister and I to a hippy fair which had a ‘free love’ tent. My sister and I were really enthralled by the tent and sat watching who went in and out (hopeful teenage boys, no women!).

• Parental discipline was harsher. Getting a smack was perfectly acceptable.

Best wishes - your Mum did grow up in a pretty special (if imperfect) time!

I was born in 68
I remember going out the house to play after breakfast and not returning till teatime- Mum never knew where we were!
I remember it being so cold in the winter that the inside of the windows froze!

Sorry for your loss.

I was born in 1970 and these are my early years recollections...

Early 70’s Black and white tv only and only 2 channels BBC 1 and 2. Kids programmes were only on at teatime. Magic Roundabout, Play School and Newsround. Fashion, brown leather buckle shoes with jumpsuits and elasticised belts. White dog poo on the street and playing football on the street. Power cuts and cooking dinner on one ring on top of a gas canister. Dad making damson wine in the garage. No central heating and going to bed in pyjamas with feet so you didn’t freeze overnight. Waking with ice on the inside of the windows in winter.

Early 80’s finally a colour tv and the addition of ITV. Watching Grange Hill after school, just say no drugs message, fear of nuclear war, watching programmes on what to do if a nuclear warhead landed, and we managed not to get wiped out initially. Later in the 80’s Neighbours and a fascination with all things Aussie. Fashion early 80’s ra ra skirts late 80’s bleached baggy Levi’s and Grolsh bottle tops attached to our desert boots. Chatting to your mates on the only phone in the house on a phone stool in the hall in the cold. Later getting central heating but Mum still coming into your room at 8am on a weekend morning and flinging all the windows open. Being able to get a weekend job at 13.

Doing the last O levels, cramming for the final exams. Doing A levels and grants for uni. Trying to get a job in the early 90’s. Filofaxes and early mobile phones. Raves and clubbing......

@ChickenNugget86 - I'm from Warrington! Don't live there any more but all my family are still there.

I used to have a weekend job in a local shop, aged 16 - 18 in 1988 - 1990. I remember I earned as much in a weekend as the YTS (Youth Training Scheme) girl earned all week (which was about £30 if memory serves)

And the freedom.... out after breakfast and back for tea, building dens, going to the outdoor swimming pool all day everyday in the summer with a packed lunch and no parents. Making our own way to and from school on the bus and walking from about 8. Latch key kid and being taught to lay and light the fire so we had warmth and prep veg for dinner when Mum and Dad got home from work. Taught myself to break in when I forgot my house key. All the neighbours were friends so if we were stuck they would help out or invite us in for hot chocolate and fresh apple pie.

On a practical note, if you can find a facebook memories page for the area your Mum lived, you might be able to find people who knew her, especially if you ask about places she worked/drank in etc

I've done a lot of family tree research and have dug up a few stories about relatives in this way.

I was born in 1966.
I'd recommend watching Life on Mars. The 70s look is pretty accurate. Actually Ashes to Ashes isn't too far off (80s) although I'm Northern so it's a bit too prosperous for my recollection.
Also, if your Mum's hometown Facebook group is like my own hometown Facebook group it's full of pictures from my childhood and lots of "anyone remember [such and such a thing]. Dip into that and see what the tone is like. Mines generally friendly and helpful.
3 channels. Black and white telly.

Has anyone mentioned chip pans fires, pressure cookers, soda streams, washing machine tubs, crispy pancakes and ice-delight (that chocolate stuff that went on ice cream) yet? Or the foulness that was school mince & white cabbage?!

Thanks again for the comments. To the previous poster who talked about the grieving process, I agree that I have had a part where I haven't grieved properly. I had to grow up very quickly and found myself being the adult as my Dad couldn't function. I've managed to finish college, work full time, get engaged, married and get a mortgage all without much family support. I keep my self busy to take my mind off it all. The death was traumatic and I've had so much therapy/counselling over the years. It helps me but every so often I'll relapse and need help again. I not only lost my mum but most my family so often greive for them all. Having a baby is keeping me busy but also my hormones are all over the place and I'm missing my Mum more than ever.

I thought it was odd my nan driving as my mum didn't learn until she was around 36ish... My other nan didn't drive either and I can't really remember many ladies driving in the 90s when I was growing up. It was always my uncles, dad or grandad who'd drive but my nan was the main driver in my dad's family.

I'm going to speak to my mums friends again and see if they know others who could tell me bits. If they remember my mums friends names from school etc... I'd love to make a memory book for my son for when he grows up so he can get to know her. Breaks my heart that he'll never know her.

I no longer live in my home town but when I visit I often get flashbacks and memories of places we visited together. Might do me good to have a walk round.

Why don’t you ask your Mums friends to write down their memories of her, when they met, what they’d do together, what made her laugh, what they liked about her etc and ask if you can make copies of any old photo’s they have? I’m sure they’d be happy to help you.x

@daisypond

I don’t recognise the description of childbirth by *@cafenoirbiscuit*. I was born in ‘66 and my sibling in ‘67, like your mum. We both had our children in the ‘90s. Fathers definitely were in the delivery room, the NCT was a big thing, so were water births and Lamaze breathing techniques- all in the NHS. The natural birth movement was quite big, moving away from the more intervention and medicalised ways of previous decades. Breast feeding was definitely encouraged. Virtually everyone did, at least for a short time. Everyone had car seats in the ‘90s too. Weaning was earlier, though, starting at four months.

Sorry for confusion - i’m describing my mums experience of childbirth when I was born in 1968. Had my own kids in the 90s and 00s 😊

My mums friends who I'm in touch with are people she went to college with or worked with over the years. I don't really know any of her school friends unfortunately. I have thought of asking on some local fb pages but thought I'd look silly maybe.

If you know what school she went to, do a search on Facebook, find her school's old pupils facebook group. People are overwhelmingly helpful in those groups as you know when she was born, there willbe boud to be someone who remembers her.

I remember putting the TV on to 'heat up' before the programme

Spot on @katy1213. Every time I watch Hairspray, the scene where Penny races into Tracey's parents' home to show them she is on tele (this is 1962) really annoys me because the TV just springs into life, without having to wait for it to warm up

Women in the 90s drove. Of course we did. I guess when you are a child it's hard to see things outside your personal experience . But I drive (and drove then). So did every woman in my family. And all my female friends. And their Mums.
It was 1990 not 1920

Sorry, op, my last post was a bit brusque.