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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you're scared about sending your DC's back to school?

47 replies

Beebityboo · 30/08/2020 07:35

I've posted on this forum a lot over the last few months. Lockdown hit my mental health much harder than I expected it too and I'm now dealing with a relapse of cptsd and severe anxiety that I had largely gotten on top of over the last few years.
I'm terrified about my DC's going back to school. I'm vulnerable to blood clots and have a Bmi of 35 (though lost two stone in lockdown) and feel that if I send them back I'll almost certainly catch it and that I have a higher likelihood of death than other people.
I'm also terrified of them catching it as my youngest has a horrible immune system and gets sick very frequently. I have two in primary and one in secondary. Currently leaning towards sending my younger two but not my eldest as she'll have to get a busy 45 minute bus each way wearing a mask and she had aspergers, it's going to be really difficult for her.
I just have a hard time trusting the government and assessing risk. I don't know how scared I should really be and what to do for the best.
How scared are you about sending your DC's in, if you've decided to send them, do you feel good about your decision?
Please be kind, I'm in the throes of a bit of a breakdown about all of this and can't really burden anyone in my RL with it right now.

OP posts:
Thepilotlightsgoneout · 30/08/2020 07:40

I’m not the slightest bit worried and can’t wait for them to go back and neither can they.

But I don’t have your health burdens so of course you see it differently. Once they’re back and going every day, it won’t feel so scary, I think this run up to it will be the toughest bit psychologically.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/08/2020 07:41

Not scared in the slightest, but then I'm not vulnerable and nor is DS. Everyone will feel differently depending on their circumstances.

You won't "almost certainly" catch it though. It's not a given.

Sunflowerlover20 · 30/08/2020 07:44

It is worrying me more now it’s getting nearer to the actual day they return. Like you we have health issues in our family, but my child needs to go back their mental health has suffered massively the last few months which is a major concern. Weighing it up and looking at figures etc my child will be returning to school.

Everyone has to do what they think is right for their own family. Flowers

Treaclepie19 · 30/08/2020 07:45

I am nervous but I know he needs to go. Lockdown has been hard for him. I'm not in the position to continue homeschooling him (34 weeks pregnant) or that might be an option.
I've found checking the local cases has reassured me as locally its on 0-2 cases.

Local coronavirus cases

DonLewis · 30/08/2020 07:45

That sounds really tough for you. Do you have any IRL support?

I'll admit, I'm nervy about it. But I think we're all ready to try this new way. One good thing, is that the government are leaving schools to it, and I trust head teachers more than any government ministers. I think, broadly speaking, schools will do the right thing by the children and their staff. Whether that's closing a year group bubble down, helping kids with handwashing, or whatever is needed. And our children are surprisingly resilient. All the kids will have to do the same thing, so that should help too.

I hope it all goes OK. For you, for everyone, teachers, parents and kids. Flowers

WhoWants2Know · 30/08/2020 07:47

Yeah, I'm scared. But more about the overall impact of schools returning than the impact on my individual kids. I work with vulnerable people who are beginning to return to group settings in sync with the schools. I've lost one client to the virus and I don't want to lose more.

DragonPie · 30/08/2020 07:47

No not in the slightest. But then they’ve been going to school when I’ve been at work as we both work in the nhs. They need to go back to see their friends and have some routine again.

ParsleyAndTime · 30/08/2020 07:47

I’m not worried for my kids or us, but I’m worried about my parents (who are vulnerable), and about other vulnerable children/teachers/parents/grandparents.

I think it’s a bit insensitive for people to say they are not worried/concerned in the slightest - you may not be vulnerable but what about others who are?

nosswith · 30/08/2020 07:59

Everyone I know with school age children is looking forward to it, assuming they are not hiding any concerns.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/08/2020 08:11

@ParsleyAndTime why is it insensitive? It's the truth. I can't spend my time worrying about strangers, harsh as that sounds, I'd have to stay in the house all the time if I did that.

Thorilicious · 30/08/2020 08:13

I'm not worried, but can appreciate why others might be.

SomewhereEast · 30/08/2020 08:33

I'm not worried at all personally. As for concern about the vulnerable, vulnerable-to-Covid is very much not the only type of vulnerable out there. School closures are awful for vulnerable children & families. My DCs' school catchment area isn't exactly affluent & some of their classmates won't have eaten a hot meal or opened a book for the last six months. And my social worker friend who serves our area can also fill you in on..for example..the upsurge in domestic violence during lockdown

Pipandmum · 30/08/2020 08:41

My daughter went back part time before summer break, and her school had reception to Y8 back full time for a month. No cases.
The school has worked hard to operate under the guidelines and have learned from that experience to modify it for full return in a week. They sent out a new handbook outlining everything a couple weeks ago.
My daughter is also old and responsible enough to follow the rules. I have no issues sending her back.

Original poster
Beebityboo · 30/08/2020 08:42

Is anyone happy sending their older child back on public transport?

OP posts:
TellYourCatISaidHi · 30/08/2020 08:44

I think we all had it back in March (just before lockdown) - we were unable to get tests so I’ll never know for sure but we all had horrific coughs and temperatures, and DH had the covid toe a few weeks after we all got better. So I feel slightly better knowing we may have some immunity, and I was happy with how DS’ school managed things back in summer (he was Y1 so did return for a bit) so overall I’m ok with it.

RhubarbAndMustard · 30/08/2020 08:45

I'm a bit anxious about it. I lost my mum in February (not COVID) and it was hard to process everything that was going on at that time. I fear for my dad who is in our bubble..but I know the kids have to go back and it is the right thing for them.

We're just going to take it one day/week at a time and see what happens. No one knows what the next few months will bring, but we'll just have to buckle up and take things as they come.

year5teacher · 30/08/2020 08:48

Am I imagining it or have you started lots of threads about this? I feel I’ve seen the “vulnerable to blood clots” at least 3 times now. If so, I would recommend maybe talking to someone about your anxieties because maybe they’re taking over your life a bit.
If not please ignore me!

Mydarlingsleepthief · 30/08/2020 08:49

I’m not worried at all, my children range from 2 to 17 and all will be in either nursery or school.

Original poster
Beebityboo · 30/08/2020 08:50

Probably started a few threads over the last months yes Blush. It has taken over my life a bit if I'm honest. Sending them back just feels really scary and overwhelming and I guess I'm just looking for reassurance.

OP posts:
dannydyerismydad · 30/08/2020 08:53

I am really rather anxious.

DH has a rare heart and lung condition, and we have been shielding strictly to protect him. Weighing up the risks to DS of not going to school vs potentially losing a parent is tricky.

I'm confident that school will do their best with safety measures, but I also know that most local families are behaving as if covid has gone away.

DS will be returning to school, but we won't hesitate to pull him out if it doesn't seem safe enough.

Girraffophant · 30/08/2020 08:53

Yes I am nervous about it. I believe a return to school will certainly increase cases and increase the risk for our family significantly.

hopeishere · 30/08/2020 08:53

Yes because all I'm hearing locally (where schools have already opened) is about the numbers of cases in them!

My nephew is already on two weeks isolating at home as there was a case in the class.

Kids can't wait to go back though!!

Kaktus · 30/08/2020 08:54

Mine went back on Monday, and also went back for 6 weeks before the summer as they were in the year groups who were allowed back.
It has done wonders for them. They’ve got their spark back. Try as I might I can’t replicate the buzz of school/working and playing with their friends at home.
I have some concerns about some aspects, although am not particularly concerned about catching Covid (DH and I have had it, DC almost certainly did too but were not tested).

Sewrainbow · 30/08/2020 08:54

Not scared in the slightest. Hospital admissions were I work have been hovering been 1-0 for a few weeks and we are in a hot spot area.

I'd be more concerned about the continued lack of structure and education the children are missing out on. If your eldest is able to travel independently on buses they are able to maintain hand hygiene regularly.

Kaktus · 30/08/2020 08:55

One of my DC has a previously shielding child in her class who has also returned, her mum says she’s spoken to her consultant and they’ve agreed the benefits of her going back outweigh the risks. Have you spoken to your child’s consultant?

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