To ask if you're scared about sending your DC's back to school?

[Beebityboo]

I've posted on this forum a lot over the last few months. Lockdown hit my mental health much harder than I expected it too and I'm now dealing with a relapse of cptsd and severe anxiety that I had largely gotten on top of over the last few years.
I'm terrified about my DC's going back to school. I'm vulnerable to blood clots and have a Bmi of 35 (though lost two stone in lockdown) and feel that if I send them back I'll almost certainly catch it and that I have a higher likelihood of death than other people.
I'm also terrified of them catching it as my youngest has a horrible immune system and gets sick very frequently. I have two in primary and one in secondary. Currently leaning towards sending my younger two but not my eldest as she'll have to get a busy 45 minute bus each way wearing a mask and she had aspergers, it's going to be really difficult for her.
I just have a hard time trusting the government and assessing risk. I don't know how scared I should really be and what to do for the best.
How scared are you about sending your DC's in, if you've decided to send them, do you feel good about your decision?
Please be kind, I'm in the throes of a bit of a breakdown about all of this and can't really burden anyone in my RL with it right now.

I think you posted a couple of days ago no? It's clear that your worry is getting the better of you.

Here's my suggestions, because the kids have to go to school and you have to restart your own life:

-see your GP ASAP, get assistance for your anxiety
-send the two younger children to school
-talk to your oldest daughters school; agree to send her back a few days after term starts so that all the other kids are bedded in and it's less chaotic
-ask them to walk you through their risk assessment; they are more reassuring to hear than to read
-do not automatically expect the school to send her work though, they are going to be maxed out the next few weeks
-talk to the bus company; ask them what cleaning they are doing to keep the kids safe

In short, talk to the people closest to the problems you see to listen to what they're doing - you will get more relevant and likely comforting information than from MN

I'm vulnerable to blood clots and have a Bmi of 35 (though lost two stone in lockdown)

This does make you a bit more vulnerable to complications from Covid-19, but not hugely given your age (I'm assuming you're not over 60 if you have school-age children!). Try to keep perspective: you're unlikely to get Covid, and if you are unlucky and do get it, it's very, very unlikely to kill you.

I'm vigilant, always wear a mask when I go out, etc etc, but it's important to assess risk dispassionately. It's going to be ok!

Not scared at all, and DS (age 8) and I are both excited about a return to some sort of routine. His school have been great and I am confident they will keep the children as safe as they possibly can. I think at some point we need to accept that Covid is here for the longterm and we need to learn to live alongside it. Life can't just stop and it is damaging for children to miss school - from an educational, social and emotional perspective. I'm sorry about your health and anxiety concerns, OP. Only you can decide what is right for your family x

Nope, not in the slightest.

I'm back on anti depressants now and hoping they'll help with my anxiety levels over the next few weeks so I am trying to be proactive. I suppose I'm just easily frightened and have spent far too much time watching the news.

I'm not particularly concerned but my children continued at school and nursery throughout the pandemic as my husband and I continued to work out of the house. I can completely understand why people who were on full lockdown for months are anxious but we have had much longer to get used to it. Added to that health concerns it is completely understandable.

Not scared at all and my older 2 DCs will be travelling by public bus.

I don't underestimate the dreadful impact of this virus but at the same time think the media have a lot to answer for in the amount of fear they've been peddling. We need to get the economy back on track and children's education going again (as well as all the cancer treatments and operations happening again etc) and need to find a way through this. It would be easier if people could put politics and the blame game to one side and work together in that but I realise that that doesn't sell papers it get people to vote for a particular party so that won't happen sadly.

Sorry for the impact it's had on you though Op. I stopped watching the news and daily briefings a long time ago as found myself more anxious afterwards and also try to limit my news intake. Not ideal as don't ordinarily keep myself in the dark, but as I say, the agenda of these organisations no longer seems to be dispensing the truth but rather keeping us in fear and driving wedges between huge sections of society.

I'd do as TSSDNCOP suggests, ring people who can help or give you explanations about the things you're specifically anxious about. They will be expecting people to be anxious, but schools especially are putting a lot of measures in place to prevent infection. It might really help ease your mind.

To start, could you email school and ask about specific things, or if someone could call you to talk you through things, including for health-vulnerable families within this all.

With the buses, will your DD be traveling on general public transport or has your local area set up school buses? Ours has a brand new school bus schedule where year groups will be in bubbles on the bus, with quite good measures in place.

I’m not concerned at all but I can understand why some are
The best thing people can to is talk about the importance of proper hand washing and not putting their fingers in their mouths to this children. Despite the whole mask debate most viruses are spread this way. Make sure they also wash hands as soon as coming home

I sent my DD back to preschool Thursday for the first time since March and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted! I had been counting down the days. She's back at activities next week too and life finally feels "normal" again and it's wonderful.

I don't have your health issues though so I imagine I would feel very differently if I did.

I struggled massively with lockdown and was really down/stresssed being locked up in the countryside with two preschoolers and not seeing another soul (DH worked throughout even longer hours than usual) so after that I really don't care about the risks as I feel they are much smaller than the risks of any more isolation.

I obviously stick to social distancing rules, hand hygiene and wear my mask to protect other more vulnerable people but I'm only doing it for others - if I had the choice I'd quite happily go about my life as before and take my chances.

@Beebityboo

Probably started a few threads over the last months yes . It has taken over my life a bit if I'm honest. Sending them back just feels really scary and overwhelming and I guess I'm just looking for reassurance.

Bless you I completely understand. I only asked as I think it changes my advice somewhat. I really would look into some CBT, I recommend the book overcoming anxiety. It helps to challenge catastrophic thinking and the anxiety spiral.

I believe children will be overwhelmingly likely to be safe at school and so will their families, providing the school is in a low risk area. There is a risk, but it’s being amplified by your anxiety, and people all over the country will feel the same.

It is overwhelmingly likely to be ok. Take care of yourself

She's a bit younger but mine is back in preschool (we are in Scotland) and she is so happy. It's lovely to see her playing and interacting with other kids again.

I'm scared that she will catch it and pass it on to my parents as they collect her when I'm working, but I am trying not to think about it too much and to focus on how happy she is.

I have a history of anxiety and upped my medication as lockdown started though because I was freaking out so much. It has really helped and I'm staying on this high dose til things are back to normal.

Thank you all for being so nice. I never got a shielding letter and my Dr's think I should be ok if I caught it and I am trying really, really hard to believe them and take comfort in it but there is such an element of randomness to this virus that it seems like you never really know how much risk there really is, or how scared you should be because the papers seem to say different things about it hourly.

Stay away from the news/papers OP. Honestly just don't engage, at least until your DC is back at school and things have settled down for you.

I stopped following all things covid a few months back and am much happier for it. I keep my media consumption light and am reading more books instead. If you're already anxious the news can be detrimental.

I,m anxious yes ,they are going back and I know it's good for them but I have a child in a special school whilst he's healthy he has an underlying chromosome disorder and it worries me how COVID might affect him ,my oldest goes into yr 9 in a medium sized comp ,but having said that Dh has diabetes ,however he's back at work now with no issues so far,tbh I know I'm anxious I'm just going to have to see how it goes.

No I’m not. I’m not worried about teaching either.

I’ve already have Covid though, as had my youngest son, who only has one lung - I know this obviously isn’t the case for everyone but honestly, we were fine. Not as severe as the flu for me, and my baby didn’t even get grumpy.

I am not scared but I do think it might end up being very on and off as school sent us so many rules if there is a case. The whole year has to self isolate for two weeks. Looks like we will be self isolating on and off the whole time.

I'm scared. I have medical related ptsd so I don't do being in hospitals very well, even as an outpatient. Tbh I get scared and tearful going to the dr surgery if it's for me, although in non covid times I can go with the dc.

I also have a high bmi and dh has diabetes. My dc aren't medically vulnerable but my 6 year old is autistic and tends to lick things/people, hug people and touch them a lot too so he is more likely to catch it than average.

My dc will be going back to school because I don't want my mental health problems to affect their educations but I am still very worried about it. No advice but I understand.

Yes I am scared of my kids going back to school and college, mainly because my dh is high risk.

Absolutely not scared at all. The fear the media have caused has been catastrophic.

Yes I am apprehensive as my child attends a primary in central London. My concern is not just the fact that Covid will inevitably be incubated and transmitted within any large multiple households gathering prolonged indoor setting but that Covid seemingly is best acquired via the vector of shared mass public hop on hop off transportation. We are just a short and quick social distancing walk away but some families are well out of borough and drag their young children across central London on (regularly) super busy packed rush hour TfL buses, Tube and trains. Obviously staff have been banned from playing invisible Covid tag via shared mass public transportation - but school supposedly cannot enforce same common sense Covid safety rules on pupils. Indeed some families commute for an hour changing modes of public transport as they seemingly do not understand (or just self centred having gamed the entrance requirements) why they think it is acceptable to commute pass endless local schools in their own catchment area neighbourhoods just to ensure optimisation for Covid infection and transmission on their extended daily commute. I suspect the school will open for hopefully a fortnight or so until closure for the inevitable Covid detection within the cramped and overcrowded school. This will be a disruptive and potentially high risk strategy but I guess we all know the score and hence so far 50k UK Covid fatalities with more daily. My child will return and we will see what happens next. What's the alternative - home school until Covid is naturally eradicated? Not (Covid eradication) going to happen in the UK with no effective nor capable government(s) and general populations who tend not to be militant even if some eventual implementation of globally adopted best practice Covid risk mitigation measures. I yet to hear any of the deliberate unmasked non social distancing militant types return their government "freebie" furlough payments. Seems quite selective as to rules adherence!

I'm worried my youngest with undiagnosed SEN will not adapt well to the new school environment.
I'm worried I won't be able to keep up with all the new school rules.
I'm worried the school may close again and we'll have to juggle again between homeschooling and work-from-home.

I'm vaguely worried we may get ill, but right now this isn't what worries me most.