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AIBU?

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Original poster

21 months - the hardest time ever?

42 replies

Ori82 · 29/08/2020 12:44

My youngest DS is just about to turn 21 months old. AIBU in thinking this is the hardest stage ever? (And for the next year possibly!)

Cars/trucks/toys thrown on the floor/in my face ALL THE TIME

Molars Of Doom cutting at the back (x 4 of course!)

Constantly saying "Stop it!" "No!" or....just screaming. Not crying - just a high-pitched, earsplitting scream for No.Reason.Whatsoever.

Can't change nappy/dress him without an actual fight resulting in me feeling like i've gone 100 rounds with Mike Tyson

Throws bottle/water on the floor and then stands in the resulting mess. Again, all the time.

Temper tantrum if he wants to go outside and can't. Temper tantrum if his brother stands in front of the tele. Ditto if he can't open the stairgate. Or grab the cat. Or has to go back in the buggy.

Of course I love him to pieces. But OMG I feel like a war victim. I'm so knackered all the time - emotionally/physically/spiritually!

AIBU to think this is a ridiculously hard stage? For some reason I don't remember the first DS being like this........

OP posts:
RhodaDendron · 29/08/2020 13:00

22 months BROKE me. I always thought it was because I had massively unrealistic expectations that she would be sleeping through and eating three square meals a day but now I read your post, it was more than that. That was my eldest though, and my next one was easier at that age. Or else I had lost all self respect and just allowed her to crack on

Original poster
Ori82 · 29/08/2020 13:06

I do feel a bit broken @RhodaDendron

I think it's a bit like SAS training at this stage. They break you and then you have to learn to re-build yourself again into someone tougher, more resilient, etc etc

OP posts:
GrizzlebumsMum · 29/08/2020 13:07

I am right there with you with a nearly 22 month old. I had put it down to him going back to nursery but it sounds like more than that. The scratching, biting, all out wars just to get him into or out of any clothing at all, meltdowns at nappy change, bawling if I can’t respond to him within a split second and shrieking if his dad dares to instead of me, does that floppy bendy leg thing where you can’t put him down on the floor without him collapsing in a heap. And the screaming, oh the screaming.

I was not cut out for this.

mintich · 29/08/2020 13:11

Yes!! I feel like DD got a lot better after her 2nd birthday. DS is 22 months sp I feel your pain!

Flev · 29/08/2020 13:12

22 month girl here, and a total battle!

gower4 · 29/08/2020 13:12

Yes 1-2 definitely the hardest age. Although at least they still nap.

Nitw1t · 29/08/2020 13:16

Solidarity. 18months-2.5 yo is the worst. (So far, no teens here yet)

Not all of them @gower4 ... DS2 gave up napping at 22mo. sobs

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 29/08/2020 13:18

I have a 21 month old and we get bouts of this, the only thing that staves it off is constant activity, we have to exhaust him every day essentially, which is much easier as he's an only. He does eat and nap well, which I count my blessings for, overnight has gone out of the window with current bout of teething, but he just wants to get in with us and in his words 'snuggle', so I'll take that over tantrums. He did throw a wooden train earlier which hit me, I don't think that was the intention as he looked surprised but then laughed. I told him he mustn't throw things, he hurt mummy etc, I'm not sure he cares, I think two year olds might be psychopathic. I am really enjoying the massive explosion of language though and him telling me things about his day when he's been with Grandma or at nursery and his new thing is making up songs that are just a random collection of things he likes; spiders, cat's name, snacks strung together to a tune only he knows and taken very seriously

RandomTree · 29/08/2020 13:20

YANBU - 18 to 24 months was the hardest for me. Old enough to behave like a pain, but too young to reason with / explain things to.

And I have teens!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/08/2020 13:21

Between ages 1-2 is imo pure hell- so active, little communication, lots of throwing themselves about- hated it

AmyandPhilipfan · 29/08/2020 13:23

Yes, I think that was about when my daughter turned from a placid toddler into a very wilful one! And stayed that way for at least a year. She turned 3 a couple of months ago and it’s only very recently that I’ve noticed she’s become markedly easier. We went school supply shopping for her older brothers last week and seemed to spend hours in Sports Direct for football boots etc and she was absolutely no bother. So you know OP, only another year or so to go for you!

Original poster
Ori82 · 29/08/2020 13:25

@mintich

I feel like DD got a lot better after her 2nd birthday. DS is 22 months sp I feel your pain!

You give me hope. I definitely think this is one of the toughest times - the stage between 18 months - 2.5 as @Nitw1t says. By gum it's hard work!

He was such a chilled baby (sob)

OP posts:
Original poster
Ori82 · 29/08/2020 13:27

@AmyandPhilipfan

So you know OP, only another year or so to go for you!

Aaarghhh!!! There is a little light at the end of the tunnel but OMG that tunnel seems long...........

OP posts:
Wale90 · 29/08/2020 13:27

19 month old here and starting to display the things you mention.

The skill it takes to get her arms in her top before she whips it off is worth getting a medal for.

Her favourite game? When she hits me because I say 'ouch' which she finds hilarious, 'ouch ouchy ouchy' she'll say before heading my way with a wooden spoon...

OscarWildesCat · 29/08/2020 13:28

YANBU but teens are pure hell, I’d give anything for 21 months again - at least I knew where they were!

chatterbugmegastar · 29/08/2020 13:44

The time which almost broke me was my daughters first term at uni. Everything before and since has been easy compared to that time.

Abitlikeabiscuit · 29/08/2020 13:47

12 month and 26 month olds here. Just clinging to the hope things will improve.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 29/08/2020 13:50

I hear you. We thought it was going to be easier the second time around. Ha! He's almost as bad as his sister was, but he's 90th centile and she was 50th so at 17m he's basically killing me.

JustHereWithPopcorn · 29/08/2020 13:53

My 22 month ds charged at me with his wooden tractor and full swing into my head earlier ☹️

formerbabe · 29/08/2020 14:03

Mine are older now but I agree with you op. Toddlerhood was the worst stage for me..it's physically exhausting and you need to have eyes in the back of your head. Concentration span is low and they're super mobile. I'd be more tempted to have another DC if they went from babies to primary school age and just skipped the toddler stuff.

Original poster
Ori82 · 29/08/2020 14:31

I think it’s the lobbing toys at my head that will break me. Why do they do this? Literally at your face.

He hit me with a tractor yesterday - landed me right on the temple. I’m so fed up being a moving target. Such scarily accurate aim too.

OP posts:
mrsBtheparker · 29/08/2020 21:48

As I've said before the worst time is whatever they're at now!

MitziK · 29/08/2020 21:56

where you can’t put him down on the floor without him collapsing in a heap

I let the little bugger collapse in a heap. In my own defence in case there's somebody here about to tell me I'm cruel and neglectful when she just wanted love, it was that or collapse myself and risk landing on top of her, as my back was utterly fucked at the time.

Strangely, she stopped doing it after she collapsed into a cold, wet puddle.

Same principle with gloves/mittens. After the fifth time they were flung off and I'd had to stop and pick them up in 1/8th mile, I put them on top of the buggy and let her have cold, blue hands for the remaining 1/16th mile home.

Rosebel · 29/08/2020 22:25

My middle child was a nightmare from about 16 months until she was about 3. However I'm finding having two teen girls much harder.
Mind you I have a 10 week old too so might change my mind again in a few months time.

CrystalPuff · 29/08/2020 22:32

where you can’t put him down on the floor without him collapsing in a heap

Haha yes, this. Absolutely hate it when DD (20M) collapses onto a grotty supermarket or elevator floor during a pandemic! Though it's happened often enough that I've been desensitised. Just make sure clothes get thrown into the wash as soon as we're home and she gets a thorough wash, which usually entails another round of battles.