21 months - the hardest time ever?

[Ori82]

My youngest DS is just about to turn 21 months old. AIBU in thinking this is the hardest stage ever? (And for the next year possibly!)

Cars/trucks/toys thrown on the floor/in my face ALL THE TIME

Molars Of Doom cutting at the back (x 4 of course!)

Constantly saying "Stop it!" "No!" or....just screaming. Not crying - just a high-pitched, earsplitting scream for No.Reason.Whatsoever.

Can't change nappy/dress him without an actual fight resulting in me feeling like i've gone 100 rounds with Mike Tyson

Throws bottle/water on the floor and then stands in the resulting mess. Again, all the time.

Temper tantrum if he wants to go outside and can't. Temper tantrum if his brother stands in front of the tele. Ditto if he can't open the stairgate. Or grab the cat. Or has to go back in the buggy.

Of course I love him to pieces. But OMG I feel like a war victim. I'm so knackered all the time - emotionally/physically/spiritually!

AIBU to think this is a ridiculously hard stage? For some reason I don't remember the first DS being like this........

Mine is 30 months but the same. It’s basically like having a small wrecking ball that requires a lot of looking after. I adore him. But he’s fucking hard work.

Yes! Feel for you having that age during lockdown.

Just a few months to go and you’ll be able to sit them in front of CBeebies for 2 hours and they’ll actually stay on the sofa! It will get better.

18 month old girl here and she is in the beginnings of this!

All the younger years are easy compared to the start of hormones and teenagers!

I have DS (16) and DD (14) and so far i would rather have the teenage years than the toddler years!

I absolutely loved the toddler stage. The teenage stage not so much 😩

God I remember that stage, it is very hard! I remember my son and his friends all seemed to go insane a few months before they turned two. My mum said it is the “Development of The Will” age ie when they stop being a relatively passive observing baby and start demanding some control in what’s going on. To do with brain development.

Something that helped us a lot was giving choices when possible, so they feel less out of control. Eg with clothes or food or daytrip destination present two choices (never more!) and ask which the child wants. This worked for us a lot at age two, although oddly when he was four it just made things worse as he then wanted both. But it helped around age 2 🤷‍♀️

The lobbing things at your head is concerning. I remember saying over and over “No no no, silly billy, only balls are for throwing, that is not a ball.” Then take the tractor away and if they cry just say “Tractor is not for throwing. Ball is for throwing. Here is a ball. You can have tractor later.”

If you are hurt, tell him. Now is the time to show that it’s never acceptable to hurt. It’s important not to accidentally reward bad behaviour with attention though. Plan your discipline method. I would withdraw attention if he was bad, normally saying “You hurt me, that is not ok, I’m not playing with you now.” Then literally sit and ignore him for ten minutes. He got very upset but this is how you train behaviour. Other people use time outs but we didn’t want to.

I always thought my Ds was a very difficult toddler and preschooler and tbh he was, where as DD (21 months) has up until very recently been the easiest and most placid child ever and I was secretly congratulating myself on such an easy child!

However in the last couple of months she has completely changed. So mischievous and demanding (yet hilarious) Constantly trying to hit and scratch and headbutt or kick me with a look a pure glee on her face! Constantly throwing toys at my face to the point I’m actually on edge and her latest thing, finally letting me relax by lulling me into a false sense of security by playing nicely before climbing above me or behind me on the sofa in stealth mode and then launching her full body at me Today she has started counting “twoo” “fthree” before she jumps so at least I’ve had some warning. I’m a nervous wreck

@Ori82

My youngest DS is just about to turn 21 months old. AIBU in thinking this is the hardest stage ever? (And for the next year possibly!)

Cars/trucks/toys thrown on the floor/in my face ALL THE TIME

Molars Of Doom cutting at the back (x 4 of course!)

Constantly saying "Stop it!" "No!" or....just screaming. Not crying - just a high-pitched, earsplitting scream for No.Reason.Whatsoever.

Can't change nappy/dress him without an actual fight resulting in me feeling like i've gone 100 rounds with Mike Tyson

Throws bottle/water on the floor and then stands in the resulting mess. Again, all the time.

Temper tantrum if he wants to go outside and can't. Temper tantrum if his brother stands in front of the tele. Ditto if he can't open the stairgate. Or grab the cat. Or has to go back in the buggy.

Of course I love him to pieces. But OMG I feel like a war victim. I'm so knackered all the time - emotionally/physically/spiritually!

AIBU to think this is a ridiculously hard stage? For some reason I don't remember the first DS being like this........

My daughter and grandson live with me and you have just described him to a tee. He has just turned two.

On the plus side he sings, dances, talks twenty to the dozen, can sort puzzles and has a sense of humour. He can jump and roll over, and he has started becoming aware of his bladder and will use the potty provided he is naked and in the mood to entertain albeit in a patronising way, so he is definitely doing well in other ways, plus he makes me laugh, but I wish he would stop chasing my dogs and being mean to them.

Ah well you can't have everything in life can you :)

Does anyone else’s toddler also do the opposite of what you tell them just for kicks?

DD stopped the putting everything in her mouth ages ago BUT because I told her not to put her hands in her mouth one time when we are out (because of Covid), she purposely now puts her hands in her mouth when we’re out, whilst grinning at me and looking for a reaction! If I tell her to stop it she’ll start licking each palm in slow motion while looking me straight in the eyes!

21 months - the hardest time ever?

Ha! My 203 month old is starting college next week, having gone through the shower of shite that GCSEs have been this year, I long for the days of teething, tractors being wheeled over/thrown at me, refusal of food other than sausages, battling an overtired toddler...

Older children are hard work emotionally but at least you can leave them alone in a room without worrying they'll swallow lego or stick their fingers in a plug socket or launch themselves off the sofa

@formerbabe

Older children are hard work emotionally but at least you can leave them alone in a room without worrying they'll swallow lego or stick their fingers in a plug socket or launch themselves off the sofa

Exactly. Someone always wants to come one and tell you how shit it is having a teenager. My mum had no issues with me as a teenager, supported me when needed, but otherwise let me get on with it. However being a SAHM with me at 2 and trying to stop me injuring myself was an actual nightmare, she says.

DS is 22 months next week and is forever trying to dive off furniture, needs long walks twice a day like a dog, will only eat things made from potato or in breadcrumbs, and regularly launches toys at me. I love him to bits but I'm exhausted.

@hammeringinmyhead

My ds is 12 and full of attitude which is tough but right now I'm lying in bed with a coffee whilst he watches tv in the living room! I occasionally look after my three year old niece...I love her to bits and she's an absolute sweetie but I'm knackered after she comes round.

So many of these posts are giving me hope!! DS will be 2 in a few weeks and is like a tornado, we love him to bits, but it's such a battle to get him to do anything if he chooses not to do it. Nappy changes are awful just now!

But at least there's light at the end of the tunnel!

My main struggles as a parent are lack of physical freedom (have to have the fastest wee in the west or take DS into the loo with me, can't just nip upstairs to collect dirty mugs or look for my misplaced glasses) and the sleep deprivation when he is teething or decides something starting with a 5 is morning. I think the small thing of being able to sit in the same house as DS and have a coffee while he entertains himself will help me cope with emotional worries!

Oh yes I totally agree about the physical freedom thing. Even just being able to do chores around the house whilst they are in another room is a game changer. I think looking after a toddler is a bit like being held hostage...