Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude behaviour at work?

43 replies

Atthrpointofbreaking · 28/08/2020 21:49

All my office still works from him. I have one person who will pop up on my IM most days and just say -

7556676 (ref number) can you look at it and help?

Doesn’t even say hello. Then seemingly expects me to tell her what to write.

OP posts:
SideEyeing · 28/08/2020 21:50

Sorry I'm a bit confused?!

Welllockdownsucks · 28/08/2020 21:51

You aren't MOD are you? I feel like we could work in the same office Grin

malmi · 28/08/2020 21:52

That is rude but I'd prefer that to people saying "hi, how's it going" and then nothing else after you reply

OhCaptain · 28/08/2020 21:52

What??

Ponoka7 · 28/08/2020 21:52

Is it your job to be doing this, or is it the norm for your team? Tbh I can't stand all the false politeness etc , but that seems a bit blunt.

ILoveFood87 · 28/08/2020 21:54

God that could be my collegue. YANBU.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/08/2020 21:54

You treat IM like a conversation, she treats it like a work order.

I doubt Debretts has a section on it, we are all making up etiquette as we go.

Original poster
Atthrpointofbreaking · 28/08/2020 21:57

I don’t know what MOD is so no Smile

Basically she’s just blunt.

Then she expects me to read through the notes (not even left by me) on a case and then tell her word for word what to say back to the client. She’s not new by the way and we’re the same level.

OP posts:
Original poster
Atthrpointofbreaking · 28/08/2020 22:00

You treat IM like a conversation, she treats it like a work order.

I really don’t.

But if you’re expecting someone to go out of their way to help you with something you should know then I think it’s polite to say - hello, would you mind etc

OP posts:
damnthatanxiety · 28/08/2020 22:00

If you are the same level the. Just say that you can't help as you are busy. Hmm

RatInADollhouse · 28/08/2020 22:00

If it isn’t your job then politely tell her she needs to do it herself.

Original poster
Atthrpointofbreaking · 28/08/2020 22:01

^^ true but I’m a pushover

OP posts:
JammyHands · 28/08/2020 22:02

I would ask them to email work requests anyway, TBH.

dooratheexplorer · 28/08/2020 22:03

People fall into two camps....

  1. Blunt - just ask the question and manage to answer with one word. Typical of alpha males bosses.
  1. Flowery - ask how you are, comment on the weather, tell you about their weekend then ask the question. Also, take a page of A4 to answer.

Mirror their communication. No point in getting worked up about it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/08/2020 22:04

@Atthrpointofbreaking

You treat IM like a conversation, she treats it like a work order.

I really don’t.

But if you’re expecting someone to go out of their way to help you with something you should know then I think it’s polite to say - hello, would you mind etc

Well that different. If she's the same level, this is odd.
Alongcameacat · 28/08/2020 22:06

Not saying hi is rude but it can also be because someone is feeling under a lot of pressure esp time pressure.

I do not understand why you are summarising someone else’s case notes. How do you have time to do this and your own work? Is your colleague’s workload much heavier?

Are you on the same level or are you doing the same job? Why isn’t the work distributed equally if you are both doing the same job?

Pixilicious · 28/08/2020 22:30

Ignore her or say I’m busy I can’t help

Original poster
Atthrpointofbreaking · 28/08/2020 22:32

We are at the same level.

We do the same work however our work is split into 4 sections which rota.

Reading the notes can take 10-15 mins. But I have my own work to do and she literally said to me.

Can you tell me what to do. Confused

OP posts:
clearedfortakeoff · 28/08/2020 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Atthrpointofbreaking · 28/08/2020 22:34

I also don’t fall into either camp.

If I had a question to ask, It would say

  • Hi (name) I’ve looked into x query and I’m confused by (whatever it was), would you mind having a look and advising?

I don’t ask about weekends, talk about weather. I’m just polite and would at least demonstrate that I attempted to work it myself.

OP posts:
amieejust · 28/08/2020 22:36

Ignore her.

Shizzlestix · 28/08/2020 22:38

Can she see that you’ve read the message? Does it pop up on your screen? If so, IM her back ‘Sorry, too busy, you’ll have to sort this yourself’. Is she unable to do the work?

user1496146479 · 28/08/2020 22:40

Whats worse is the people who do this....
Hi
How
Are
You?
......
Could
......
You
Look
....
This
Please?

Constant IM's flashing up, instead of just sending it as one! Drives me mad! GrinConfused

GeekyGirl42 · 28/08/2020 22:41

I'm a software developer. Sending messages like that to colleagues, even when you sit right next to them, is quite normal.

I think unless you are in such an introverted profession, then no, you aren't being unreasonable to think it a bit rude of her.

Alongcameacat · 28/08/2020 23:17

We do the same work however our work is split into 4 sections which rota

Reading the notes can take 10-15 mins. But I have my own work to do and she literally said to me.

I think I know what you mean.
Do any of the rest of the team ask you to refresh your notes?
Would it be worth having a team discussion to see about putting all notes in bullet form would be a timesaver?