Page 2 | Rude behaviour at work?

newnameforthis123 · 28/08/2020 23:20

You need to take accountability for your part in this. You say you're a pushover. If she's asking you to do work she should be doing or to do work that isn't part of your role, say no. "I'm afraid my workload this week means I can't take that on." Mirror her style. If she's abrupt in asking you to do stuff you don't need to do / shouldn't do / cannot do without it affecting your own work then be abrupt in saying no. You need to approach this as a professional adult. It's not personal, that's clear in her style. So you don't need to be personal back. You need to take responsibility for your own workload and that means learning to say no.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 29/08/2020 00:01

I used to have this when I worked with a colleague who had very poor written word skills and didn't come from a admin background, but she was brilliant at her job and was lovely in person.
She would criticise my "Good morning" or "kindest regards" because it was time wasting. I refused because you do you and I'll do me and we'll see.

Original poster

Atthrpointofbreaking · 29/08/2020 09:32

Do any of the rest of the team ask you to refresh your notes?

She asked me to read notes that weren’t written by me.

OP posts:

Mellonsprite · 29/08/2020 09:38

Why is she asking you to do this, if it isn’t your case? Quite simply if it’s not your role to assist her I would say ‘it’s not my case, I’ve never looked at it before so no idea’.
If your role is some kind of escalation point where you were expected to assist I’d say ‘what pint exactly do you need help on?’ It’s lazy to expect you to do the thinking like this for her.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 29/08/2020 09:40

Mirror it back...
Sorry
Too busy

SmellsLikeFeet · 29/08/2020 09:43

Just reply
No
Job done

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 29/08/2020 09:45

Options - any or all of these combined:

might take longer initially, but rather than doing it for her, prompt for what bits she doesn't understand so that she learns?
Ask other colleagues if she is doing the same thing with them (not the style of working/message, but just offloading work
Conversation with her about why she thinks it appropriate to offload work to you on a regular basis
Conversation with your line manager about the fact that she is offloading work on such a regular basis, (don't make it a whinge, or imply that you are not a team player)
ignore
say no

DaughterX · 29/08/2020 09:45

I'm happy to help other members of my team but they would normally summarise the case and say what the specific problem was that they didn't know how to solve. Or identify if there are two conflicting courses of action. Like "Hi x, could you take a look at this for me please if you have time? I wasn't sure whether the Z guidance/ policy covers this situation."

nosswith · 29/08/2020 10:00

I think it is rude.

Behaviour like this should be challenged. Perhaps starting off with a reply of 'hello how are you?'.

isabellerossignol · 29/08/2020 10:08

She sounds rude and/or lacking in social skills.

I'm not one for an essay asking about someone's life history before getting to the work questions but it doesn't kill anyone to say 'hi' or some other small pleasantry.

As for the work, I'd refer her back to whoever wrote the notes. If that person isn't on shift she can either 1) wait until they are back 2) use her own judgement or 3) ask for a second opinion on whatever specific part is bothering her. I'd have no problem if a colleague asked me for my thoughts on a specific question, but that's very different to expecting me to formulate an entire response when that is her responsibility.

Moonfig · 29/08/2020 14:10

"Hi not my case, maybe try the person who handled it for help."

Jobs a good un.

MitziK · 29/08/2020 14:46

@Atthrpointofbreaking

All my office still works from him. I have one person who will pop up on my IM most days and just say -

7556676 (ref number) can you look at it and help?

Doesn’t even say hello. Then seemingly expects me to tell her what to write.

In itself, I'm fine without the 'Hi, hope you and yours are all well in these extraordinary times and trust that the coming seasons will be light upon your soul, for as the great philosopher Socrates once said, 'We are all dust in the wind'.... bollocks at the front of emails.

However, I'd ask somebody sending messages like that what exactly it was that they wanted me to help them with. And reply to such responses as 'Look at it and help' with further questions until we got to 'No problem, I'll take a look at it at the end of the day' and then respond with 'The client needs you to respond to them addressing each of their points in turn with a suitable resolution'.

And if they have the brass neck to reply saying 'I want you to write the response and send it to me', I generally (if I actually want anything to do with it) do a great response, stating that I've been asked to deal with this by x person, if you have any further queries, feel free to contact x person on xperson@..... , sign it off as myself and then just copy them in with a pdf after it's gone out. That way, the client isn't pissed off because it's been dealt with, the person who did the actual work gets credit and the CF doesn't get to pretend that they handled it all on their own.

Comtesse · 29/08/2020 14:56

Just ignore her. No obligation to reply instantly to messager. If she follows up some more then you can easily say “oh sorry SO busy on x, didn’t see your message, don’t have time to look at that now, sure you can cover it”.

ColleagueFromMars · 29/08/2020 15:08

" Sorry quite busy with my own work, ask manager or person who wrote the notes"

everythingthelighttouches · 29/08/2020 15:17

Interesting that you are being asked to do this via messenger which I think is not recorded, rather than email...

I hope you’re keeping a list of all of these requests?

newnameforthis123 · 29/08/2020 20:11

@newnameforthis123

You need to take accountability for your part in this. You say you're a pushover. If she's asking you to do work she should be doing or to do work that isn't part of your role, say no. "I'm afraid my workload this week means I can't take that on." Mirror her style. If she's abrupt in asking you to do stuff you don't need to do / shouldn't do / cannot do without it affecting your own work then be abrupt in saying no. You need to approach this as a professional adult. It's not personal, that's clear in her style. So you don't need to be personal back. You need to take responsibility for your own workload and that means learning to say no.

Sorry to quote myself but why can't you do this OP?

Ilovemysaltycrumpets · 04/01/2025 09:51

What a world where it's rude to use basic etiquette. No I don't think people are direct and hot shit when they don't say hi or layout a basic query without typos, I just think you're a lazy twat.

AhBiscuits · 04/01/2025 09:53

Ilovemysaltycrumpets · 04/01/2025 09:51

What a world where it's rude to use basic etiquette. No I don't think people are direct and hot shit when they don't say hi or layout a basic query without typos, I just think you're a lazy twat.

Maybe she has seen the error of her ways in the last 5 years.