Dump the stuff?

[iamtheoneandonlyyy]

If someone has a particularly unpleasant break up but is left with many of their former partners belongings, is it unreasonable to go and dump them in the ex's driveway?
He would have been asked to collect several times but never bothered.
The ex would be living with their mum but she would be away for a bit so perhaps wouldn't even know.

I think it's only fair to let them know you are doing this and make sure anything that rain could spoil is covered up.

Hmm. I think I'll rephrase. It's not an illegal thing to do?

I don't know. Could it be criminal damage due to recklessness?

What size and weight of stuff?

I'd give 24 hours notice then dump and run.

I'd send a taxi with his stuff at a time when you know he's going to be in.

If it got damaged you could have a legal issue as it could be seen as "reckless".

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

Hmm. I think I'll rephrase. It's not an illegal thing to do?

If you want to know the legalities, you can email your local police.

I’m not 100% sure on the legalities but think it would be sensible to avoid anything that you could potentially be liable for. If you dump valuables and they get destroyed/stolen they might pursue legal action - Not sure how far they’d get but still best to avoid any potential headaches!

I think I would take it round when the ex is obviously at home, put it in front of the front door, and then ring the door bell. When he opens it, he'll see it, and you can just drive off. You can photograph the stuff on the doorstep and film him opening the door and seeing it. Then, if he doesn't bring his own stuff into his house, it's his look out.

Not criminal. But you may open yourself up to civil damages claim as you put the property, which isn’t yours, at risk. I would ask on legal rather than AIBU if you’re concerned about the legality. AIBU is better for opinions of moral outrage!

Just a pipe dream really. Cheers all

How much is there? Could you courier or post it to him? Don't put your return details on the box though so it can't be returned, but you would have a receipt in the event he tried to say you hadn't sent it.

I would give written notice and via text something like...
“I have asked you repeatedly to collect your items, namely XYZ. I’m giving you 48 hours to collect them or I will return them to XXX address where they will be left outside the house but within the boundaries of the property”.

Then do it. Legally your arse will be covered because 1) you have given them notice which you can prove 2) you have given a reasonable time frame for collection.
Small claims court wouldn’t even entertain it if you do as above.

The written notice I would send via post and pay for signature on delivery

Yes, you could be liable for damage if anything got spoiled.

A bad break up doesn’t justify destroying someone else’s property.

It's my fault, I've oversimplified the post. I was angry when I typed it. It doesn't matter. Thanks all though

Yes, you could be liable for damage if anything got spoiled
Not if she formally notifies him of her intention and has given him a reasonable timeframe for collection l

To be fair I didn't say a word about destroying anyone's property, that's getting a bit carried away.
But anyway I'm going to give him one more day and let him know if it's not collected it will be delivered to a charity shop

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

To be fair I didn't say a word about destroying anyone's property, that's getting a bit carried away. But anyway I'm going to give him one more day and let him know if it's not collected it will be delivered to a charity shop

Why don't you take it there when he's at home and leave it on the door step, then ring the bell and leave?

He knows where it is. One more chance then charity shop. He doesn’t get to use your house as free storage.

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

To be fair I didn't say a word about destroying anyone's property, that's getting a bit carried away. But anyway I'm going to give him one more day and let him know if it's not collected it will be delivered to a charity shop

Don't know if it's legal or not, but this is probably what I would do

Had this many moons ago after moving because of DV, repeatedly ignored my requests.
Sent a letter via solicitor stating if it was not removed by xxx date then it would be deemed to be abandoned and would be disposed of. Funnily enough it was collected.

To be fair I didn't say a word about destroying anyone's property, that's getting a bit carried away.

I know. I’m talking about it getting destroyed by weather or any other means if you just leave it outside.

I think you could also be in hot water legally if you just give all his stuff away to a charity shop, because it’s not yours to give away.

How many times have you told him to collect it/how long has it been? Less than a week, YABVU, several months I can see your point.

OP why don't you just vent on here and save yourself more grief by getting into trouble for dumping his stuff and potentially damaging it.

Be the bigger and better person. I am sure he does not deserve to be treated decently (guessing) but you are better than this :)