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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to make the bath safe for elderly dad?

42 replies

R2221 · 27/08/2020 14:43

My dad moved back to the UK and into a new flat with only one bathroom (with a shower over bath). He is 75 and in good health (touch wood!). He hasn’t used a bath in a long long time and I’m really worried.

How to make it safe for him? He doesn’t want to replace it with a shower cubicle - says it’s “perfectly alright” !!

OP posts:
Emeraldshamrock · 27/08/2020 14:46

Rubber mats, hand rails. Would he qualify for an OT assessment in his home?
Is it a council property? Personally if he can afford it I'd take the bath out and have a shower fitted. If private rental then move somewhere else.

endofthelinefinally · 27/08/2020 14:46

Honestly, just take it out and put in a walk in shower. I can no longer use a bath. It would be very dangerous for me. There are an awful lot of serious injuries caused by bathroom accidents.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/08/2020 14:49

I would push for a walk in shower, but if he refuses, I would have a non-slip surface and hand rails professionally installed. Rubbers mats are ok-ish, put if not laid down properly can be a serious slip/trip risk. I would also get him a stool made for tubs if it will fit.

Elouera · 27/08/2020 14:50

Failing removing the bath/OT assessment etc, there is a thing called a bath board. It essentially makes a seat on top of the bath, so he can sit on the edge, bring his feet into the bath and stay seated on the board. He wouldnt be submerged in the water, except his legs, but could sit there and shower.
www.completecareshop.co.uk/bathing-aids/bath-boards/?adgroup=bath%20board&device=c&query=bath%20board&msclkid=4e41dccd8a671d6cfc30838a33fc5474&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=KW%20-%20Bathroom%20%7C%20MOO%20Exact&utm_term=bath%20board&utm_content=bath%20board

ToeTouchingTitties · 27/08/2020 14:51

My mum has a bath lift that uses a rechargeable battery - it lowers her in on a seat and lifts her up. It’s been a life saver for her!

BreconBeBuggered · 27/08/2020 14:54

Something like a bath lift would be better if he doesn't like showers. www.nrshealthcare.co.uk/bathroom-aids/bath-lifts

puglife · 27/08/2020 14:54

Ask for an OT assessment from his local council. They would assess him for suitable equipment and/or adaptations to make him safe.

BreconBeBuggered · 27/08/2020 14:56

X-post with Titties. That'll teach me to spend too much time browsing.
If he's still in fairly good nick, a good solid rail might be sufficient for now.

Original poster
R2221 · 27/08/2020 14:57

It’s his own flat. He won’t get it changed into a shower cubicle (No money issues, but he doesn’t think a bath a unsafe for him).

OP posts:
ScribblyGum · 27/08/2020 15:05

Have you asked him if he’s able to get in and out and he’s happy doing so? If yes then all you need to do is follow up and say that if in the future he is finding bath transfers more difficult then you are happy to support with purchasing equipment and adaptations, or referral to OT.

Just because someone is 75 does not mean they aren’t perfectly capable of getting in and out of the bath safely. I’ve assessed numerous patients in their 80s or even 90s who are still using their bath with no problems.

Waveysnail · 27/08/2020 15:15

Some grab rails. Good in bath mat and one for outside the bath. Mum got this electric thingy that lowers her into the bath then raises her out again.

CherryPavlova · 27/08/2020 15:22

If he doesn’t want to change it, you have no right to pressurise him to do so. He’s perfectly capable of deciding for himself. Don’t infantilise him.

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 27/08/2020 15:23

He's 75, last I knew that was an adult and perfectly able to decide for himself. Unless he has dementia or is otherwise mentally incapacitated it is not your problem.

Just so long as he knows you are happy to support him when he wants to make a change then leave him to it.

honeygirlz · 27/08/2020 15:24

He will come a cropper. My mum at 69 knows the bath is a no no for her unless we are there to help. She has a bath upstairs and a wetroom downstairs, and the bath hasn't been used in 5 years.

The only time mum has a bath now is when we're on holiday and we can help her out.

honeygirlz · 27/08/2020 15:26

I can see why OP is worried, if I thought mum was having baths at home, I would be worried, her balance is not good and she will fall. Luckily, mum knows it's not safe for her.

ScribblyGum · 27/08/2020 15:28

Couldn’t agree with your post more @RealityExistsInTheHumanMind.

DelurkingAJ · 27/08/2020 15:29

@honeygirlz

He will come a cropper. My mum at 69 knows the bath is a no no for her unless we are there to help. She has a bath upstairs and a wetroom downstairs, and the bath hasn't been used in 5 years.

The only time mum has a bath now is when we're on holiday and we can help her out.

But it utterly depends on the person. My DM is in her 70s and was teaching DS1 to dive on holiday recently (with demonstrations)...

DDad on the other hand had a stroke in his mid 60s and could never after get out of a bath.

OP, why are you worried? If he isn’t yet unstable then try not to fret.

daisypond · 27/08/2020 15:38

I don’t quite understand. You said your dad is fit and healthy, so what is the problem with a bath? My mum is in her late 80s and only ever has baths.

Loveden · 27/08/2020 15:42

My dad is several years older than the OP's, he walks at least ten miles every day with his dog, plays tennis twice a week, operates all kinds of power tools and ladders perfectly and would laugh in my face if I told him I was worried about him bathing unsupervised!
If he's in good physical and mental health, then I think you just have to let him get on with what he feels comfortable with.

fallfallfall · 27/08/2020 15:44

75 is the new 50, old age doesn’t start till 95.
A non slip bath mat, hand rails should be fine for a good 10 years.

Suze1621 · 27/08/2020 15:58

If he's fit and well the bath maybe fine. Apart from a couple of grab rails, we didn't need to change my mum's bathroom to a shower room until she was 83. She loved a bath, found it relaxing and the warmth good for her arthritis, where as the shower just got her clean.

alexdgr8 · 27/08/2020 16:04

yes, unless he has a problem or you see signs of impairment, why are you trying to take him over.
is anxiety an issue for you.

Original poster
R2221 · 27/08/2020 16:36

To clarify, my dad doesn’t like baths. He stands in there and has a shower! That’s what I’m worried about.

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 27/08/2020 16:36

Handrails are the best idea. If he says notes fine then let him crack on. One thing everyone should do, elederly, infirm ot not is ensure you take the plug out and drain all water before exiting the bath. If you slip you won’t drown at least.

ilovesooty · 27/08/2020 16:39

@ScribblyGum

Have you asked him if he’s able to get in and out and he’s happy doing so? If yes then all you need to do is follow up and say that if in the future he is finding bath transfers more difficult then you are happy to support with purchasing equipment and adaptations, or referral to OT.

Just because someone is 75 does not mean they aren’t perfectly capable of getting in and out of the bath safely. I’ve assessed numerous patients in their 80s or even 90s who are still using their bath with no problems.

Just what I was thinking. If he's currently healthy and mobile he can make his own decisions surely?
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