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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you love about having a son

227 replies

BoyOhBoyOhBoi · 27/08/2020 09:36

So I recently found out we are expecting a baby boy and we are so excited!

My family is basically all girls, all baby cousins growing up were girls, all nieces etc... Are girls so I've never really been around or have much experience with baby boys!

I think because of my family I always had it in my head that I'd end up with a daughter but now I'm having a son (which is totally fine!).

Just wondering if some of you can share with me your experiences with having a baby boy and what you love about it? Smile (and maybe even if there is anything you think I need to be extra prepared for!).

OP posts:
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 27/08/2020 12:35

Congratulations!

I have a 10yo DS and a younger DD. I can only compare them as individuals but the some of the plus points of DS are:

  • He's cuddly and loves a snuggle but isn't clingy.
  • He's comparatively uncomplicated compared to DD. He doesn't fall out with his friends, he's uninterested in girls (so far!) and he doesn't obsess over who is his 'best' friend... No drama.

Both kids are great fun.

AgentCooper · 27/08/2020 12:39

@QueenofmyPrinces

I quite like being the only female in the family too. I'm not sure why, though.

And me!!

My username pretty much describes our household Grin

I feel like this too! It may just be because it’s so different to how I grew up, with my dad being the only male. It’s a different world!
Dominicgoings · 27/08/2020 12:40

My nephew is a spoiled, whiny brat who slaps his mother and calls her a bitch.
My friends teenage son is an absolute bully who terrorises his siblings and treats his young girlfriend like crap.

Crystal87 · 27/08/2020 12:42

I've got 2 of each, in my opinion there much of a difference in how they are in the early years. Maybe boys are a little bit more clingy. My eldest son is quite sensible and always has been but my youngest is wild and had no sense of danger, he's just like a whirlwind.

SunshineCake · 27/08/2020 12:42

I have two sons and daughter.
I would say I have brought them up the same but I know when I think I haven't.
As I don't have two daughters I don't know if dd is as she is because she is a girl or because she is her as I have nothing to compare her too.

My son's are just lovely. Very straight forward, easy going, I know where I am with them. Just keep them fed and warm and all is good. They are loving, one cuddles me every day as he thanks me for his meal. The other touches my arm as he thanks me but would always give me a hug if I ask for one.

Just lovely great kids, all of them.

Crystal87 · 27/08/2020 12:44
  • there isn't much of a difference.
Orchidsindoors · 27/08/2020 12:46

"I really don't think having a baby boy is a different experience from having a baby girl."

Ha ha ha ha

momtoj · 27/08/2020 12:46

Congratulations! I felt the same as you-I was told we were having a girl at first and I was really shocked when they said it was in fact a boy. I was worried as I didn’t have any experience of knowing boy babies and sounds really silly but I was like: ‘what will I do with him?! I don’t like sport!’
He’s honestly just the best thing ever though (although I’d bet I’d say that if he had turned out to be a girl too!). Really scary though how much he is already into bricks and cars-even if I have tried to make sure he’s not given stereotypical toys! He only plays with the cars at nursery. Would echo the other comments-he is so loving and cuddly compared to the other girl babies in our antenatal group: not sure if a boy thing or just him!

Orchidsindoors · 27/08/2020 12:49

OP, I was in the same condition. You will love your boy. I've found they are more cuddly than girls, but also a challenge. I wouldnt change it for the world though.

Dominicgoings · 27/08/2020 12:50

I hate that you can’t put the big flowery headbands on boys Sad

Dancingdeer77 · 27/08/2020 12:50

I can only speak for my boys. But...

whole hearted, unselfconscious,unconditional love
the best cuddles.
Amazing chats
Painting my nails in ‘interesting’ colours
Dancing in the kitchen
Reading stories
Discussing philosophy
Hearts on their sleeve
Forgiving nature
Splashing in puddles
Climbing trees
Seeing them wear their baby dolls in a sling playing at being a daddy
Their fearlessness is genuinely inspiring and makes me feel more willing to do things I’m afraid of
Canoeing with them
Building Lego model homes and us discussing if a cinema room or disco room would be best
Doing mindful colouring with them
Sending the off at the playground and them have the best time, be kind to others and let me chat to other mums.

So many things. Children are just people with a wide range of interests. Unless you train them that being a boy or girl is the absolutely defining thing about them, it isnt. Most likely they’ll be a bit like you since you are their parent.

Vivi0 · 27/08/2020 12:50

@Dominicgoings

My nephew is a spoiled, whiny brat who slaps his mother and calls her a bitch. My friends teenage son is an absolute bully who terrorises his siblings and treats his young girlfriend like crap.
What an ugly comment.

The OP is clearly excited having just found out she is having a boy and you come along and shit all over it.

Hope that made you feel better though.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 27/08/2020 12:51

Boys are great! Well, mine are wonderful, but maybe I’m biased Wink. Ds1 is now 18 and is wonderfully protective of me, both ds’s aren’t above giving me a hug, and my life is infinitely better for having them in it. I think the teen years are easier with boys - certainly my experience as a single mum - as I think mums and teenage girls, and all those hormones, can really clash. (Maybe a generalisation, but true in my experience.)

AryaStarkWolf · 27/08/2020 12:51

@Orchidsindoors

"I really don't think having a baby boy is a different experience from having a baby girl."

Ha ha ha ha

What's funny about that? I have one of each and I agree. I wish people could be viewed as individuals. Not all boys are cuddly and hilarious and not all girls are drama llamas and bitchy.........always the girls getting the negative press too

Luckily both my son and daughter are cuddly and hilarious

elliejjtiny · 27/08/2020 12:53

I don't have any girls so not really sure if I can compare but I have 5 boys and they are all fabulous. My 14 year old is a much nicer person than I was at his age. I love how my boys are so enthusiastic about everything and that none of them are interested in those awful lol dolls.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 27/08/2020 12:53

I only have a DS and brothers so can't say what a girl would be like but happy to tell you what I love about DS.

I love how loving he is, he is always giving me great big cuddles and telling me I'm beautiful and the best mum ever.

I love how fascinated he is by everything he sees and we love to explore nature together. I also love our lazy afternoons where we snuggle up and watch superhero films together.

I don't love how little he sleeps Grin

thewalkers · 27/08/2020 12:53

Everything 😊 he's my absolute world.

gabsdot45 · 27/08/2020 12:56

I have a boy and a girl.
My son is 16, I like him enormously. We get on very well. We adopted him when he was 8 months and he has brought so much joy to us. He's not perfect and we've had trouble with him. Plus he won't do a tap of work at school but I'm mad about him. He was an adorable baby and has a very magnetic personality. People like him easily and he's very popular.
I also like that he comes with a big gang of other teenage boys who hang around the house and eat constantly. They're good fun and always useful when furniture needs moving, or I need something from a high shelf.
My relationship with my son is very special to me. Congratulations to you OP.

PS I love my daughter too.

FrappuccinoLight · 27/08/2020 12:58

I desperately wanted a second girl because both would be close in age (20 months) and I had idealistic visions of room/toy sharing and then being close friends - so secretly felt a little deflated when I found out I was having a boy. HOWEVER I was so wrong. My son, now 10, (and many of my friends with one of each echo these observations) is the most loving, tactile and sweet hearted gentleman and we have a closer connection than I do with my daughter. Love her to bits but she is more independent, always has been and also more mouthy/moody and only just hit her teens. Absolutely love having one of each, but would definitely say I have personally got more out being mum to a son in terms of love and affection.

Dorisdaydream2 · 27/08/2020 12:59

I have one if each. They are so different. I could list all the wonderful things about my girl, but as you asked specifically about boys... I love little boys. My son is very affectionate, a fantastic mediator, he will always say sorry immediately and can defuse any situation, I love his stick collections, his collection of fir cones, his curiosity, he is so funny!!

Of course girls can and are all these things too, but my daughter is so stubborn!

Boys give the best hugs Grin

FizzyGreenWater · 27/08/2020 13:00

@Orchidsindoors

"I really don't think having a baby boy is a different experience from having a baby girl."

Ha ha ha ha

Yep, another one here laughing in return - err, yes, I found it pretty much was no different!

The hugs. Everyone always talks about The Hugs. Like it's literally all they can think of in the face of all the great girl things... stop it. All kids are huggy and touchy, it just makes it sound such faint praise!

Dorisdaydream2 · 27/08/2020 13:01

My son will still say ‘love you Mum’ in front of his friends and he’s a teen.

FizzyGreenWater · 27/08/2020 13:02

So the message is - all kids are great. Young children are pretty much just young children. If you think 'I'm parenting a BOY' that's not such a great place to start from. And they all want to cuddle all the time and no, it's not a 'boy thing'

Dominicgoings · 27/08/2020 13:07

@FizzyGreenWater

So the message is - all kids are great. Young children are pretty much just young children. If you think 'I'm parenting a BOY' that's not such a great place to start from. And they all want to cuddle all the time and no, it's not a 'boy thing'
Exactly. These type of threads are becoming more common on MN. And they ALWAYS attract an undercurrent of ridiculous generalisations and stereotypes, with some subtle and some not so subtle sexism. Stop with the ‘cuddly boys/bitchy girls’ crap.
ShastaBeast · 27/08/2020 13:07

These threads always have a tinge of negativity towards girls. My eldest sounds like a boy going by all these descriptions and my youngest aside from being a bit sensitive, but what’s wrong with being sensitive, boy or girl?

Until puberty there shouldn’t be much of a difference, aside from the anatomy. It’s impossible to avoid the socialisation entirely though. Enjoy nurturing an individual and discovering who they are.