To think that sometimes people have an instant dislike for someone?

[malificent7]

People have taken an instant dislike to me before and vice versa.
I wonder if it is due to incompatible smells/ hormones etc .
I was perfectly pleasant to a woman at work but it is obvious if they don't like me. Im no threat to them so why?

Yes it happens, usually something we cannot change. I'd not worry about it too much, just limit the time you spend around her.

I recently lost 3 stone. I have noticed since that a lot less people instantly dislike me/many more are pleasant, welcoming and generally nicer!

Shit though.

It's funny, I was thinking about this just the other day. There's a woman who's involved in a hobby that DH and I have too, and I don't like her at all and I've got no idea why.

She's never been anything but friendly and welcoming to us (we're fairly new to the group), she and her husband are kind of founder members and are very nice. To be honest, I'm not particularly keen on him either, but her - there's just something about her that makes me really uneasy. I feel a bit guilty about it really, it's not like me at all. Weird. Hopefully she won't ever realise how I feel, I go out of my way to be nice to her so she doesn't sense my thoughts!

I have taken an instant dislike to people on occasion. We all take in subconsciously many small things about people. It’s all about threat and survival on a primitive level. As relayed by my psychotherapist. I have anxiety so my scanning for threat is a lot more switched on than most. That’s more about vibes given off by some.

I also think our own personality type has a bearing. So someone may be perfectly nice but if they have a very loud voice I would not seek their company.

I've had people take a dislike to me and vice versa. Generally it's a personality clash type thing. Sometimes you come across people where you just rub each other the wrong way. That's life, you're not going to like everyone and can't expect everyone to like you.

I've taken agin people. More often than not there's a very good reason. Never ignore your subconscious.

Yes. I throughly expect to hear they are in prison one day. Even my autistic son who isn't normally observant of these things complained that J has no social,skills and is weird.

The song Loathing (from Wicked) describes it very well.

@CarrieMoonbeams

It's funny, I was thinking about this just the other day. There's a woman who's involved in a hobby that DH and I have too, and I don't like her at all and I've got no idea why.

She's never been anything but friendly and welcoming to us (we're fairly new to the group), she and her husband are kind of founder members and are very nice. To be honest, I'm not particularly keen on him either, but her - there's just something about her that makes me really uneasy.

Always trust your instincts.

You know I always say sont judge a book by a cover.

There are two types of people like that in this world. 1) people who usually have a grudge and just generally dislike a lot of people before they even know them. And 2) people who dislike someone they dont know because of what someone else has told them

I get a lot of people instantly disliking me

And the reason for this is, I am a white muslim. Stupid really. I am quite a friendly and sociable person. I think I am anyway lol. I always be polite to check out people but a lot of people look me up and down like I am crap off the street. I dont let it affect me anymore. I am used to it. I get dirty looks and glances and stares all because I am a white woman in hijab. I've been called names and alsorts. I just shrug it off now.

But there are people who just are generally moody or grumpy or take an instant dislike to people. That their problem. Leave them to it.

Yes. I think of it like cats and dogs. Although cats and dogs can and do learn to get along together, their instinctive 'language' has opposite meanings - a dog raises its paw to play, a cat raises its paw to attack; a dog wags its tail when it's happy, a cat lashes its tail when its angry.

There are people like that - no matter what you say, you can't get it right - even if you are trying to be conciliatory and pleasing - because you are somehow wired differently. Often it doesn't matter but if the person is in a position of power over you (e.g. manager at work) it can be disastrous.

Avoiding them and generally minimising conversation/actions in their presence is the best strategy.

For me, it’s usually instinctual. It’s rare I get an instant dislike from someone.

There have been people that have made my instincts say to stay away or that there is something off/not right about them.

I remember going to a party in uni and there was this girl with her boyfriend. Never met her in my life, but something told me to keep away from her. It wasn’t even an hour later that her boyfriend came over out of the blue and started punching some guy she had been talking to before. I had been nearby the whole time (trying to figure out if I knew her or something) and the guy hadn’t done anything. He had actually been leaning away from her with her getting closer. When her boyfriend was punching him, I looked at her and she had this smirk on her face watching him do it.

Another time I was visiting my Aunt and went to church with her (not religious but did it to be polite). She introduced me to the leaders of her church and one of them shook my hand and a chill went down my spine. It didn’t help that he still tried to hold it as I pulled it away and stroked the top of it before releasing me He was in his 60s/70s and I was 25, just been married days earlier which my aunt had just mentioned. I’ve been to numerous churches and even worked in one, but had never met anyone that gave me that feeling. Still makes me cringe now thinking about it.

For me, it usually when I meant someone whose behaviour leads me to think they like to be the centre of attention. This puts me off them right away.

Saying that, I ended up being very close friends with at least 3 such person when I realised that 1st impressions are not always correct.

I think that something they say or do, can put you right off a person on first meeting. I also think that the opposite is true and you can immediately feel a positive connection with a person you haven’t met before.

It’s funny you mention smells. I often notice people with a strong unpleasant odour and steer clear but they have partners and families who clearly don’t smell the same thing so it must be a thing.

The people I have taken instant dislikes to have been due to my gut warning me, it’s always been right and the person has turned out to be awful. Now if I get a bad vibe I don’t engage. I’m sure plenty of people feel the same towards me, I’m a closed book due to anxiety so I’m hard to ‘read’, I just accept not everyone is compatible to get on.

I work with a lady who I cannot stand the sight of. I know she isn't keen on me but my hatred is definitely stronger, nothing has ever occurred between us, there is no particular reason for my feelings but sometimes I can't even stand to look at her!!

Sometimes I get a 'creep' vibe from certain men; I tend to pay attention to it tbh. I'm not rude to them but I'm wary. I have been proved correct in the past.

Occasionally I get a nasty vibe from women but then it's more like I think they're judging me and I'm getting some terrible flashbacks to nasty girls at school who always thought my clothes/hair/whatever was 'wrong' in some way. Thankfully most people grow out of that I think or if they don't I must be subconsciously avoiding them

In fairness, OP, you've indicated that you do the exact same thing, so perhaps you can answer your own question.

paperandfireworks agreed, I’ve been many different weights in my life and have noticed the same.

Yes they do.
I took an instant dislike to someone I have never even met just based on their photos and interactions on facebook with a metal friend. There is no rational explanation, they have done nothing "wrong", perhaps they remind me of someone from the past in some way?

I don’t think I’ve ever actually hated someone on sight. They have to have been rude to me first and then my own dislike creeps in. I also don’t listen if other people tell me that so and so is horrible, I give them the benefit of the doubt first.

But yeah, people do take a dislike to me, I sometimes wonder if it’s because I am confident.

Over 90% of these responses say yes, it's instinctive, it's natural. Nothing to do with underlying psychological bias then.... Rarely, yes it can be from instinct but we are not a walking ball of magical sixth sense... Usually an immediate negative response is due to lack of self or confidence. We are our brain which is working from every experience and feeling towards ourselves we have ever had. Jealousy is a dangerous thing. Just look at all these replies!

When I started a new job back in 06 one of the other ladies just didn't like me. I'd never met her or even spoken to her but her attitude was off from the start.
I've no idea why , but other people said she was the same with them too so I don't think it was just me. She seemed popular with other people.
I've sometimes come across people I'm not sure about : one of my sons old school friends gives me the creeps ( luckily he doesn't see him about anymore) he has a bad vibe / aura about him.
It's a strange thing.