Argument over hair extensions

[BoomBoomBoomCrash]

Hello.
Been with boyfriend for a year and a half. Both are 26.

I bought some new hair extensions - I went for the cheaper option to see how I like them so they're synthetic but I absolutely love them and my parents and sisters have complimented me. They were originally a bit iffy about extensions but they really like them.

Backstory: i used to have long brunette hair past my boobs. However last year I started bleaching it myself. Every few months, I would keep bleaching and , as you can probably imagine, my hair began to get brittle and break off.

This means I had to cut it. But stupid me, kept bleaching it. So I had to cut it again to collar bone. My mum then commented on how burnt my hair was and how dry and when she smelt it, she could just smell a burnt smell.

I chopped it off to just above shoulders. I am quite good at cutting my own hair but clearly not at bleaching it.
I dyed it back brown.
Anyway, I wasn't used to seeing myself with shorter hair so I would just wear it in a bun non stop for the past month. 2 days ago, I noticed how thin it had got compared to my old, thick long wavy hair.

I got extensions and I feel so much happier and like myself. I've always had an opinion that as long as i'm happy with it then I don't care if other people think "urgh extensions".
These are halo extensions so theyre basically a headband kind of style so not damaging to the hair.

Anyway, showed boyfriend today and it was like I committed the worst crime.
I had been thinking about getting extensions for a while and he was against saying I should just let my hair grow. My opinion is I can have the best of both with halo hair extensions. It can grow whilst I cover up the thinness.

I have cut them so they're just above my boobs giving them a more natural look.

However, boyfriend thinks extensions are tatty and that I now look like a "typical girl". We had an argument as I said it makes me feel better and he said he doesn't get it because it's fake and not my real hair so really i'm lying.

I feel stupid now. I really like these extensions and feel 10000x prettier with my hair long.
I dont want to come across as tatty but I genuinely think they look nice :(

Oh what a prick. You must know you’d be better off without this clown OP. It’s just fucking nasty to put you down over something that you’re obviously not completely secure about (it’s nasty either way but that’s extra so!)

@borntohula brave or stupid? I'd vote stupid after I ended up chopping most of it off 🤣 definitely hairdresser next time I want to be blonde, however for now I am staying brunette

You look great. Believe in yourself.

@BoomBoomBoomCrash I'm standing by 'brave,' based on my own experiences of destroying my hair self-hairdressing! 🤣

So he doesn’t want you wearing make up either cos it’s not your “real face” then does he? He’s in the wrong!

Ugh jesus, he sounds like a controlling twat op. Run awaaaaaayyyy, with your lovely locks flowing behind you as you go .

That was my argument - I wear makeup, I wear heeled boots or heeled sandles so am I lying about my height?

@Sparklesocks

He sounds very superficial, and the ‘typical girl’ as a bad thing is a bit dodgy - always be wary of men who pull the ‘You’re not like the other girls’ routine.

Yep. Men who are misogynists are arseholes. Men who weaponise misogyny in order to internalise it in women and get you to do things for their approval are huge gaping arseholes. Be a typical girl and fuck this wanker off. 26! Don't make this your life.

Out of curiosity what does “tatty” mean in this context. And what’s wrong with looking like a typical girl? What does that even mean? What does a typical girl look like? I’m guessing it’s regional?

@Bluntness100

Out of curiosity what does “tatty” mean in this context. And what’s wrong with looking like a typical girl? What does that even mean? What does a typical girl look like? I’m guessing it’s regional?

Does it mean 'downmarket'? He thinks the op should be above such trivialities as wanting long hair . I bet he thinks he's well modern for thinking this too .

Capsulate yes that would make sense. What about a typical girl though? What does that mean? Feminine?

I've just never met a man who came out with these sorts of comments who turned out to be decent. It's indicative of so much more dickheadedness going on. Your hair and your body. Always.

My opinion is I can have the best of both with halo hair extensions. It can grow whilst I cover up the thinness

Sorry but the whole thing reads like an advert for these hair extensions

They look lovely. You've done a great job. You should focus on what makes you feel confident and happy and no need to justify that to anyone. Your hair is not up for debate with anyone.

Keep the hair lose the man

Where did you get your extensions from they look ace!

I think typical girl here probably just means “Instagram-Esque” - so he’s saying she looks generic, like “any other girl” their age going for the same insta-aesthetic

Hair extensions can look tatty, eg if they’re really thin, matted, unblended, tracks hanging out etc. I wouldn’t say extensions themselves are low brow though - high end sets of extensions will set you back £500-£1000 so it’s not like only “chavs” have them

Your boyfriend sounds like a bit of a bell end, but you have totally converted me to the idea of hair extensions! Off to Google? Hahaha!

@Atalune Amazon believe it or not!

@hastingsmua1 I personally look nothing like an instagram girl but what is wrong with girls who do? And what's wrong with being generic?

@hastingsmua1 but I wouldn't say only "chavs" wear cheap extensions. Not all of us can afford to spend £500 on hair which is why there are cheaper deals out there. They make me happy so if I look 'chavvy' then i'm a happy chav

I wasn’t trying to be offensive! I was just theorising that the above is what your boyfriend is thinking

It’s not what I think, I have worn extensions myself in the past!

Hastings thanks,

So basically he’s saying extensions are down market and she looks like some generic insta girl,. Nice.

So yeah op he thinks you look better in them so he’s trying to neg you into not wearing them. What a loser.

Since a couple of people have commented on which extensions they are, it's these
www.amazon.co.uk/Headband-Natural-Extensions-Straight-Hairpieces/dp/B07TQFCLLB?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

They came a bit long for my liking so I cut it to the length of my "old hair".

Btw I am in no way advertising for this company (I just love my hair right now which is their brand), they were only £6 so if you are iffy on hair extensions then it's a good price to try them out!

I am going to continue wearing them despite what boyfriend thinks, hoppefully he gets used to them, but I love them

Op, Hastings was answering my question I think.