Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is BU? (It's a driveway one!)

66 replies

Hangingwithmygnomies · 25/08/2020 20:11

One of my neighbours has just shouted at my husband in the street for using her drive to turn around in. He doesn't use their actual drive but pulls forward to reverse onto the dropped curb part in order to turn. We are on a main road and bus route and it's safer to do this than pull out and 3 point turn. The run in has at least 8 ft before you get to their actual driveway, as it has been built over the public footpath and grass verge that normally runs alongside the footpath, so he doesn't need to go onto their property. She was shouting that it's her property and he has no right to do that. We can't get our own drive put in as we love to near to the corner. He can't use the corner to reverse due to other cars parked before it. She's shouted at us before a few years ago when we had a newborn, he stopped over her drive temporarily for me to get the baby indoors as there was no where to park and it was chucking it down with rain. He moved it straightaway once I was out of the car. I don't believe he has done anything wrong as he doesn't touch their drive and just reverses onto the public part so I think she is BU to shout at him in the street for it but am happy to be told otherwise.

OP posts:
Freddiefox · 25/08/2020 20:13

Does he pass the footpath and grass verge? Couldn’t quite work it out?

Original poster
Hangingwithmygnomies · 25/08/2020 20:18

@Freddiefox

Does he pass the footpath and grass verge? Couldn’t quite work it out?
He would be on the grass verge but not the footpath if it were there (if that makes sense?)
OP posts:
HappyStar56 · 25/08/2020 20:21

Seems v harsh and mean spirited. I certainly wouldn’t mind at all & would be very happy to help.

malmi · 25/08/2020 20:30

Need a diagram

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 25/08/2020 20:31

She doesn't own the public highway in the front of her property, whether it is pavement or verge is irrelevant - it isn't hers.

So you are perfectly within your rights to use it to turn.

Maybe find and print the relevant information and put it through her letter box.

Original poster
Hangingwithmygnomies · 25/08/2020 20:32

@malmi

Need a diagram
I know, I know lol! I'll see if I can work out how to attach one 😉
OP posts:
Original poster
Hangingwithmygnomies · 25/08/2020 20:41

@RealityExistsInTheHumanMind

She doesn't own the public highway in the front of her property, whether it is pavement or verge is irrelevant - it isn't hers.

So you are perfectly within your rights to use it to turn.

Maybe find and print the relevant information and put it through her letter box.

This is what I explained to her last time and my husband said again tonight but she just won't accept it as "I paid for this so it's mine". Not that it's relevant but they don't even have a car to use the drive for. After the first incident she did come and apologise as she didn't know we'd had a baby. I did learn in that conversation that her husband had dementia, so maybe she's stressed looking after him and my husband has got the brunt of it?
OP posts:
Jayaywhynot · 25/08/2020 20:46

Yabu not attaching a diagram, what's wrong with you woman! I love a diagram Grin

PatsyJStone · 25/08/2020 20:46

Well unless she can prove she did pay for it, and show you this, then actually anyone can do a quick reverse if they fancy... not just the neighbours. Does she try and stop people walking over where it would be the footpath/pavement? I’m assuming people walk past the end of their drive too.
But without a diagram... shame on you! You know the rules... always do a diagram 😆

Original poster
Hangingwithmygnomies · 25/08/2020 20:51

Ok, ok, diagram is coming Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Hangingwithmygnomies · 25/08/2020 20:52

Diagram as requested Grin

Who is BU? (It's a driveway one!)
OP posts:
Original poster
Hangingwithmygnomies · 25/08/2020 20:53

oh no why won't it post my diagram?!

OP posts:
Pinkchocolate · 25/08/2020 20:54

YANBU. Some people are just petty. When she rants at you can you just tell her she doesn’t own the road and ignore her, shut the door in her face if need be. Tell your husband to ignore her too. OR if you’re really brave and good at confrontation tell her to Piss off and contact the council/police or anyone she thinks might validate her BS. I would do the first but want to do the second.

Bagatelle1 · 25/08/2020 20:55

I think YABU. If she maintains the drive, your DH driving across it every day will increase the wear and tear and she will have to pay for repairs.

SamsMumsCateracts · 25/08/2020 20:56

Surely she doesn't own anything past her property boundary, ie the footpath. The drop curb isn't owned by her, it will be owned by the council and allocated to that house, but not owned by her. It's legally part of the public highway I believe, unless it's a private road. Let her rant and rave all she wants, your dp is doing nothing wrong.

Mamette · 25/08/2020 20:58

I would just laugh at her and tell her not to be silly. Then I’d give her a nice bip bip and a cheery wave as I drove off.

What, exactly, is she going to do about a car turning near her house.

SamsMumsCateracts · 25/08/2020 20:59

Also, just to add. We have multiple people use our drop curb to turn every day. Yes we paid for the council to drop it, but we don't own it. If it is safer for people to use it to turn rather than risk having an accident on a busy road, I let them crack on and look at it as being neighbourly.

EggysMom · 25/08/2020 21:00

She maybe paid for the dropped kerb so thinks she owns it. She doesn't, she merely paid for it to be installed. If it got damaged, she'd still expect the council to repair it.

MockneyReject · 25/08/2020 21:02

I care for a woman who has dementia. Every time a car stops outside her house, it causes her distress. She thinks it's her carer/family member/taxi and is upset and confused when it isn't.
It's possible that your neighbour has to deal with her husband's reaction every time he sees/hears your car heading towards his house. Your car lights possibly fill the room with light and scare/unsettle him.
Just a thought.

neddle · 25/08/2020 21:02

Why can’t he just drive off the way he’s facing?

PatsyJStone · 25/08/2020 21:05

Nope, she’s not got any right to tell you to stop reversing.

Blue565 · 25/08/2020 21:05

Ignore her, dopey cow

Original poster
Hangingwithmygnomies · 25/08/2020 21:05

@Bagatelle1

I think YABU. If she maintains the drive, your DH driving across it every day will increase the wear and tear and she will have to pay for repairs.
But it's not her drive that he goes on - he goes on the public right of way bit. If she were reasonable in her approach and repairs needed doing because of damage caused solely by him, we'd discuss costs of repairs. In an ideal world we would be able to have our own driveway but as our front garden is less than 10ft from the corner of another road, Highways say we cannot have one.
OP posts:
Penguinnn · 25/08/2020 21:05

Your neighbour is unreasonable. Some people are angry just for the sake it.

lakesidesummer · 25/08/2020 21:06

She maybe paid for the dropped kerb so thinks she owns it. She doesn't, she merely paid for it to be installed.

This is the case I reckon.
But it might be worth talking to her to see why she is so stressed about what is a non thing.