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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you stop your life being ruined by a lottery win??

374 replies

Foliageeverywhere122 · 25/08/2020 19:07

Inspired by the euromillions thread!

Ever the optimist, I started thinking about how exciting it would be if I won...and then started thinking about all those news articles you see in the daily fail about people who claim their lives were ruined by it.

So how do you actually enjoy a lottery win? Has anyone won (or inherited) a large sum of money and has advice? :D

OP posts:
Vinomummyinlockdown · 26/08/2020 20:31

Move house, tell no one of your win and enjoy! People are too wrapped up in their own crap to notice anyway!

Clairemarb · 26/08/2020 20:38

I’ve been reading this thread with interest as I won euromillions a few years ago and whilst it certainly didn’t ruin my life there were times when I wish I hadn’t won, believe it or not! You certainly find out who your friends are and everyone around you suddenly thinks they are a financial advisor, also work colleagues who barely spoke to me beforehand suddenly wanted to be best friends, surprisingly! It’s impossible to keep quiet completely too, you want to tell people so you tell family and close friends and then they tell one person etc etc.

browneyes77 · 26/08/2020 20:39

Winning the lottery is something I’ve thought about many times! I’ve made plans already! Grin

One thing I’ve always been adamant about is that I absolutely would not go public. Not a chance.

As I rent, my first priority would be to buy a home. Have always wanted a barn conversion in the countryside so that’s what I’d have. I’d get a nice new car - no Ferrari’s or anything, just a nice 4x4.

I do wildlife photography in my spare time, so if I won a big enough amount to quit work, I’d quit and focus on my photography instead (and buy more equipment!) - maybe look at future business opportunities with it too.

I’d make sure my folks and my brother were sorted financially, so they were financially secure.

I wouldn’t broadcast it that I’d won. Just my parents and brother and they’d know how much I’d won. I’d give my two best friends some cash to help them, but probably fib about the amount I’d won. Not because I don’t trust them, because I absolutely do 100%, but just so I could give them an amount that I felt was appropriate and not sit wondering if they thought I was being too tight for not giving them more! Grin (I don’t believe either of my best friends would feel that way at all, they’re not like that. They wouldn’t even expect any money - but you never know!).

The only person who concerns me is my DP’s mother. I’d absolutely give her some money, however she’d be the liability when it comes to keeping it quiet. I can trust my family and two best friends to keep schtum, but DP’s DM has a habit of opening her mouth about things you’ve specifically asked her not to mention to anyone else.
Maybe I should do a contract with a clause for her. That I’ll give her x amount of money, but if she tells anyone that I’ve won the lotto, then she has to pay it all back within 30 days Grin

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 26/08/2020 20:43

It always confuses me when people say "Tell no-one, ever." I think people will notice if you bought a flash car, moved to a nicer house, maybe a different country etc...

Lottahugz · 26/08/2020 20:57

Anytime I get one of those emails saying 'we have news about your ticket' I sneakily check the winning distribution,if the jackpot was won, I spend the whole day daydreaming about sharing the money around to friends, families, churches, charities, even blessing neighbours by dropping money through their letter boxes.

In the evening when I have dreamily blessed everyone and cant take the wait anymore, I log in to my account only to realise I won a couple of pounds GrinGrin

This explains why I will probably be only a dreamer Grin

SantaClaritaDiet · 26/08/2020 21:25

@AintNobodyHereButUsChickens

It always confuses me when people say "Tell no-one, ever." I think people will notice if you bought a flash car, moved to a nicer house, maybe a different country etc...
but most winners don't, or not straight away. Not all winners suddenly buy 10 new sports cars and a McMansion.

Especially if you have kids, it's not such a positive thing to relocate them, show them off as being suddenly wealthy and force them into a new life, away from their friends but not accepted by their new "neighbours".

Obviously if someone is near destitute and suddenly comes into money it's obvious, but no one knows the financial details of middle-class families.

SantaClaritaDiet · 26/08/2020 21:26

Lottahugz

I really think you should be able to chose over which amount you receive such emails - I don't like them at all Grin

Ibizafun · 26/08/2020 21:36

But what if your dp has different ideas to you when it comes to telling people, who to give to.. that’s the first hurdle in my opinion

AppleKatie · 26/08/2020 22:01

but most winners don't, or not straight away. Not all winners suddenly buy 10 new sports cars and a McMansion.

Exactly, I like to think I would make gradual plausible changes to my life.

We’ve always been on holidays, the fact we had now tripled the accommodation budget and we’re flying first could easily remain private info.

I don’t think I’d bother with a swanky car either, mines fine. Might get the adaptive cruise control option when the lease it up next but don’t fancy a Ferrari anyway!

House, I might remodel this one rather than move straight a away. And once I did move I would tell everyone the mortgage is a killer etc etc...

Sophoa · 26/08/2020 22:49

Interesting question. My husband died last year and I’m now in receipt of a lot of money. Even now the mortgage is paid off there’s a lot left and as my family are well off more will eventually come. I have bought nothing of significance and have given nothing away. It’s invested via a very good find manager and I plan to use the interest to supplement my income. I still work. My husband was a high earner but very low key and I don’t think people knew that he earns as much as he did, we never told anyone. People have expressed surprise that I am still in the family home and haven’t moved the children from private school as they have no concept of what I have. I think that if you already have a fairly comfortable standard of living it’s really easy to keep a significant amount quiet.

Usernamerequired · 27/08/2020 00:12

Give some money to me please, i’m up to my eyeballs in debt and kindness is more self worth than money 😉

browneyes77 · 27/08/2020 07:24

@Ibizafun

But what if your dp has different ideas to you when it comes to telling people, who to give to.. that’s the first hurdle in my opinion
My DP is on the same wavelength as me when it comes to this fortunately. Neither of us think going public is a good idea. We’d help the people we want to help - close family and friends who’ve always been there for us and that we trust. And also any charities we want to support.

Although, we’ve already agreed that if I won millions on the Lotto, he’d be my bitch and do as he’s told if he wanted to share in any of that money GrinGrinGrin

Waxonwaxoff0 · 27/08/2020 07:34

@Ibizafun I'm single so that wouldn't be a problem Grin

Home42 · 27/08/2020 07:39

Don’t buy a ticket...

Coffeecak3 · 27/08/2020 07:44

I have a friend whose elderly parents won a substantial amount, they were advised by Camelot to spend as much as possible due to their age.
Unfortunately their mindset won't allow them to do this and they sit on the money whilst my friend struggles to pay her mortgage and nurse her seriously ill dh.
So sad .

Dartsplayer · 27/08/2020 08:03

@Usernamerequired

Give some money to me please, i’m up to my eyeballs in debt and kindness is more self worth than money 😉
You've had your first begging letter already 😂😂
Elai1978 · 27/08/2020 08:21

Keep it a secret and work my arse off to make more money.

Lardlizard · 27/08/2020 09:16

Think about it this way, What do money launderers do ? To justify Tyne amount of money they have ? Set up some sort of fake business .....

All of a sudden you’ve set up a new business, and it’s doing amazingly well 🤣🤣

Thinkingg · 27/08/2020 09:21

@FudgeBrownie2019

You don't tell anyone, ever. You also don't buy yachts until you can drive them (I have a recurring dream that I win the lottery, buy a yacht and crash it quite badly into some cliffs on the first outing, with me stood at the helm in a Captains hat shouting "port bough, port bough" with authority).
Grin Grin
Rainonplain · 27/08/2020 09:24

Keep it quiet and set up a charity or foundation that gives away the majority of the money - that’s what I would do. I’d fund more girls sports and arts for women. I’d give money to charities close to my heart and I’d set up modest trust funds for my own kids, but not enough for them never to work, more along the lines of getting them a flat or paying for uni.

OneTC · 27/08/2020 09:25

Can't really imagine how it could ruin my life really unless I started injecting drugs or something

So I would probably just avoid doing that for as long as possible

OneTC · 27/08/2020 09:27

Oh and the reason no one "nice" ever wins it is cos all the donkey sanctuaries etc go out the window when you actually have a 109 million quid

Rainonplain · 27/08/2020 09:27

And I’d ditch the day job to be on the board of the foundation and I’d do a PHD in a subject I love that has no real world practical use so it’d be pure indulgence.

Rainonplain · 27/08/2020 09:29

‘Oh and the reason no one "nice" ever wins it is cos all the donkey sanctuaries etc go out the window when you actually have a 109 million quid’

I don’t think that’s true- I know someone who got a TON of money but kept the true amount private from most people and has slowly been giving away 80% + to good causes...

OneTC · 27/08/2020 09:31

I don’t think that’s true- I know someone who got a TON of money but kept the true amount private from most people and has slowly been giving away 80% + to good causes...

I just mean relative to the number of people on this thread who are claiming they'd give most of it away to charities or something. Of course they wouldn't. Imagining how you'd dispose of that money is not disposing of that kind of money Grin

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